It didn't take long for me to realize it.
"Tsukki! These are for you!" Yamaguchi held out a bouquet of roses.
"Why?" Tsukishima asked as he cleaned his glasses.
"It's your birthday!" He exclaimed like it was something obvious. Like it was normal to give another boy roses on his birthday.
"Right," Tsukishima took the bouquet of roses. "Thank you."
Yamaguchi just smiled.
Yes, it didn't take long to realize… Yamaguchi was in love with me.
But I realized something too late.
"Eh? Tsukki why did you pull a petal off?" Yamaguchi watched as Tsukishima looked at the petal in his hand.
Each petal represents each mile you would chase me for. You love me that much, I know.
"You know the flower's petals will fall off faster if you pull them out. It won't be a flower anymore." Yamaguchi stated with a pout.
"It'll still be a flower." Tsukishima responded calmly.
I was a fool then.
"Tsukki do you want to go on a date next weekend?"
"It's not a date. We aren't dating."
"Ha-ha. I was just joking."
Casually brushing things off. Rejecting the word but not the offer. It was like I was stringing him along.
Ah.
I was simply just dropping the petals of the roses he gave me, he's the one who was chasing them. It's not my fault.
"Tsukki!" I never hated the way he said it. "Tsukki!" His voice was kind and soft, it was relaxing to hear my nickname being called by his voice.
"What is it?" Tsukishima turned around to face Yamaguchi.
"Do you want to do something this weekend?" He asked with a casual smile.
"Sure." Tsukishima answered.
We always did whatever I wanted to do.
Yamaguchi stopped asking me to hang out during the weekend.
"Yamaguchi!" Tsukishima shouted to Yamaguchi as he was speaking to Hinata.
Yamaguchi turned around, "Yeah, Tsukki?"
"Let's hang out this weekend."
That was the first time I asked him. I still remember how stupidly happy his smile was… for a second before turning into an apologetic one.
"Sorry, Tsukki! I'm going to be with Shimada."
"Fine."
I didn't realize why my heart was aching at that time.
But slowly…
"Sorry, Tsukki! I'm going to Shimada's."
It became clear…
"Sorry, Tsukki! I'll be with Shimada tonight."
That I…
"Sorry, Tsukki!"
Really did fall…
"Sorry—"
"SHUT UP, YAMAGUCHI!"
Yamaguchi appeared shocked; no, he was shocked. Tsukishima was just as shocked he yelled.
Luckily there was no one there on the road they were taking home.
Or maybe it was unlucky.
"Tsukki, maybe I should have mentioned it before but…"
Don't say it.
"I'm dating…"
DON'T SAY IT!
"Shimada."
Tsukishima threw his headphones at Yamaguchi and took off running home.
Why? Why? WHY? He wondered how this could have happened. You love me! Don't date him! You love me!
Those roses! Those petals! You should have followed me forever! You should be with me forever!
He continued to run home.
Follow those petals a little bit longer! Please!
He reached home and without a "I'm back" he ran to his room and locked the door.
Ah…
With a hand over his face he realized it. He was in love with his childhood friend.
But…
"He stopped chasing the petals of the roses he gave me."
It was that simple.
Tsukishima laughed. He felt rather stupid, so very stupid. He wished the feelings he carried for Yamaguchi now would have surfaced sooner.
But it didn't. And it was too late now.
The next day Tsukishima walked to his classroom. In the classroom was Yamaguchi. On his desk were his headphones.
This is his answer…
Like how the roses were a sign of his love; the returned headphones were a sign of his rejection.
But still, Tsukishima smiled pathetically as one thought ran through his mind.
I love you. So now, it is my turn to chase after you.