I've always had mixed feelings about the Kurt-Blaine relationship. On the one hand, I love their chemistry and how well they get each other. And despite all the drama in season 5, I still enjoyed watching them because they would keep running into real, believable problems both inside and outside of their relationship, and they'd still manage to sit down and get through it together.
Which is what made season 6 the heaping hot mess that it was. Starting with the poorly explained break up, to all the pointless drama that did nothing for the development of their relationship. And then there was the wedding, on literally their first date back together after having resolved absolutely nothing of their past issues. By any logic, this marriage should have crashed and burned as soon as it got off the ground. But by Glee logic, of course they went on to become a happy, successful couple having a child and performing on Broadway in five years.
I wrote this primarily to create some headcannon to soothe the uncomfortable feeling the final season left in me. I tried my best to stay true to the characters and the cannon while adding to it, but this is pretty much my first attempt at fanfiction, so constructive criticism is welcome!
Enjoy =)
"Phew! What a day," said Kurt, jumping backwards onto the queen-sized bed. Sue, in her typically obscene self-confidence had gone ahead and booked the couple a honeymoon suite at the hotel, clearly convinced her outrageous plan would work (Which it did, of course). She'd even gone ahead and written "YOU'RE WELCOME, LADIES" in rose petals on the white bed cover. As Kurt's back hit the bed, the rose petals went flying everywhere. A couple landed on Blaine's well gelled hair, and as he frantically brushed them out in dismay, Kurt burst out into laughter. Blaine responded with a mix of exasperation and annoyance, which quickly turned to horror as he caught his reflection in the mirror.
"Goddamnit Kurt. Look what you did," he groaned.
Kurt sighed and walked up to stand behind him in front of the mirror and wrapped his arms around Blaine's neck.
"Oh you disgruntled wet crow. You look adorable," he said, his reflected face full of affection, despite the mischievous sparkle in his eyes. The compliment brought a small smile to his husband (the word still sent shivers all over him), even as his rolled his eyes and looked away.
"Don't you look away from me Blaine Anderson!" Kurt mock scolded, spinning him by the shoulders and surprising Blaine with a long, passionate kiss, his hands travelling up to hold his husband's neck and the back of his head. Blaine's arms moved down to hug Kurt's waist, pulling him closer into himself.
"You take my breath away, Kurt Hummel."
Kurt's shocked eyes met Blaine's playful ones, smiling meaningfully up at him. They stood there for a while, momentarily transported back to the stage of the empty high school auditorium, right after Blaine's first performance as Tony in their production of the musical, West Side Story.
However, as they stood there enjoying their shared nostalgia of young love, Blaine's expression shifted into a conflicted mess of pain and nervousness. An expression Kurt knew very well. An expression that, after everything they'd been through, brought on a wave of panic that he struggled to quell.
"What? What is it?" Kurt asked, concern written all over his face.
"Nothing, it's just...things were so… simple back then," Blaine mused softly.
"Blaine, you forget that I know all your expressions like the back of my hand. This one right now? It's about more than just lost innocence. What is it?"
Blaine sighed.
"Kurt, we need to talk."
With those five words, the wave of panic in Kurt's chest burst into an all-out tsunami. This was it. His luck had finally run out, Blaine had caught up to how terribly he had treated him, how he had hurt him so unforgivably.
"I will NEVER forgive you for this."
The words rang in his head as if he'd heard them was moments ago, spoken in a voice so broken, he felt it piercing through his heart to this day. I did that to him, he reminded himself for the millionth time.
Now that Kurt thought about it, Blaine hadn't once admonished him about it since they got back in touch. After all the grief Kurt had given him back when Blaine had cheated in a moment of weakness, Kurt had torn out his heart and crushed it and Blaine hadn't spoken one harsh word of accusation. Heck, he had practically taken him back with open arms. Sure, they'd just gotten married, but everything had happened so fast, swept up in a whirlwind of euphoria. Could he really blame Blaine if he wanted to call it off, now that things had calmed down? It wouldn't be unfair, after what he'd done to him.
"Kurt, hey, don't cry. Don't worry, I'm not breaking up with you, I promise," Blaine joked lightly, unwittingly hitting the bullseye of Kurt's nightmare.
Kurt was startled out of his reverie. "Cry? I'm not…" he raised his and to his face, genuinely surprised at the wet trails he found there.
"Oh um… It's just my contacts bothering me," he said, his voice betraying him as it wavered. He swiftly brushed away his "contact" tears.
"Has that excuse ever actually worked for you?" Blaine teased, smiling knowingly. Kurt shot him an irritated look, a non-verbal version of "Shut up, Blaine."
"So… you said you're not breaking up with me?"
The small laugh accompanying the sentence failed to veil the fervent hope in his voice, making Blaine chuckle softly. Ever since Kurt had graduated high school and left for NYADA in New York, he had transformed from a shy, sensitive romantic into this strong, hardened and ambitious young man - a survivor of the cut-throat, New York performing arts industry. Sure, he still had the same heart the size of a lion, full of fierce love for those close to him. He'd just gone from wearing it on his sleeve to protecting it within a hard shell of self-dependence and cynicism.
"Come on, let's sit down," Blaine said, taking his hand and pulling him gently to the bed.
"What are you smirking at?" Kurt grumbled, looking offended.
"Well… I haven't seen this side of you in a long time. Emotionally vulnerable, Lima-Kurt."
"Yeah, well if there's anyone who can tear down my NY-hardened exterior it's you, my love," Kurt admitted grudgingly. "Okay, let's get to it. What's this all about?"
Blaine took a deep breath.
"No interruptions before I finish, okay?"
"Deal."
"Kurt, I meant everything I said in my vow today. You are the one for me, my soulmate, there's no one else I'd rather spend my life with. That being said, some things need to change. I love you, but let's think practically. Marriage kinda implies living together, something we don't have the best track record with. The first time I ended up moving out after two months and the second time… well we both know what happened the second time."
Kurt flinched involuntarily and braced himself. Here it comes, said the voice inside his head. He opened his mouth to let out the apology that had been sitting inside him, stewing for months, but then quickly shut it when Blaine gave him a look, silently reminding him of their deal.
"Remember what you told me when you came to ask me to Brit and Santana's wedding? You said, 'Everything was completely messed up before, but it's all fine now'. At the moment I was too over the moon to counter that, but I think it's important we address it now that we plan on sticking together for life. Do you agree?"
Kurt's face turned white as he remembered the words that had slipped out in a frenzied jumble in his anxiousness to be back together with his true love. Looking back, he couldn't believe that he, sensible, practical Kurt had said something so naïve. He nodded vigorously. Blaine was right. In fact, Kurt had been wondering how to approach this very conversation himself, ever since he said the words "I do," but after everything he'd put Blaine through, he hadn't had the heart to bring up the past. Not now, when they'd been sharing such pure joy all day.
"What happened when we were living together… it could happen again. No, don't shake your head, I'm serious. All that conflict… it didn't come out of a vacuum. There were causes, reasons. And let me make this clear, this is NOT a reason why we won't last, or why we shouldn't be together, because I'm pretty sure every married couple faces this.
"What I'm saying is, I love you, and you love me and whatever conflict, argument that comes our way, no matter how big or small (yes, including silly stuff like toothpaste on the towel), we NEED to be honest with each other. Take it head on. We need to talk about it, get to the bottom of what exactly is bothering either of us, and then fix it together, not bottle it up till someone lashes out and says something we'll both regret. This is a partnership. And I need to grow too, I know that, I'm going to learn how to be more considerate of boundaries, and…. What, why are you looking at me like that? What's that expression?"
Kurt's expression had gone from one of guilt and pain to one of love, admiration and…
"It's pride. I'm so proud of you Blaine. I'm proud to be your husband. And I know, over the past couple of years since I went to college it's seemed like I'm the mature one in this relationship, but honestly, everything you said, I couldn't have said it any better. When did you get so damn smart?"
Blaine laughed, looking fondly at the love of his life. He felt lighter and happier than he had in months.
"I hope so. I want you to be," he said softly with a smile, knowing Kurt would catch on the familiar response to his declaration of pride. Sure enough, it brought an instant smile to Kurt's lips.
"Okay. My turn," said Kurt, with determination. Blaine nodded, sitting up attentively.
"You're absolutely right, of course. Conflict is natural, and communication is key and all of that. And we managed this pretty well when we were living separately, remember? Living together just increases the possibilities for conflict and with classes and the diner and Vogue... I got so caught up that I lost sight of the best thing that ever happened to me - You. I became inattentive and let our problems fester and I… I failed you Blaine…" his voice cracked with emotion, dropping his gaze to hide the overwhelming pain. Blaine moved to comfort him, but Kurt held up a hand. He cleared his throat and continued.
"I'm not finished. That night when I broke up with you… I cringe every time I remember it. It's going to take a long time for me to forgive myself for it. I am so sorry, Blaine. And even though this is just between us, what I say next is as sacred to me as the wedding vows I said in front of everyone today. I will never, ever fail you like that again. No matter how tough things get, I promise to always talk to you about it, and figure it out. No matter how busy things get, I will never let us, our relationship fall into second place. I am never giving up on us again."
Each having said their piece, they just sat there, drained, facing each other and holding hands.
"And also, we hail from the legendary New Directions. We can always bust out a killer song to settle our differences if it comes that," Kurt added with a flourish of his hand, hoping to get a laugh to break the silence.
Blaine smiled, but remained silent. He felt a unique sense of contentment. His one true love was in front of him, wearing his wedding ring and they'd just had the most honest, adult conversation in the history of their relationship. Everything was right with the world.
"Blaine say something, please. I just poured my heart out to you in the most heartfelt apology/vow I've ever made, for the love of Gaga…"
That made Blaine laugh, as he saw his husband returning to his regular, sassy self.
"I love you. I believe you, and I accept your apology, and I know I said I'd never forgive you, but let's be real. I don't think that's even scientifically possible. And I can't force you to forgive yourself, but if it's any comfort, you now have a lifetime to make it up to me," he grinned.
No sooner than he'd finished speaking, he found himself in the tight embrace of one immensely grateful Kurt. "Love you too," he mumbled through the hug, trying to keep his voice steady, his eyes prickling with tears of relief and gratitude. Once he gave up on trying to keep his tears in check, he got up and dropped into Blaine's lap, with his arms around his neck. Looking into his husband's eyes he laughed with joy in spite of the obvious signs of crying.
"So… now what?" he asked.
"Well… you tell me," Blaine remarked, looking at him suggestively. "This IS a honeymoon suite."
Kurt's eyes widened. "Hot make up sex?"
"Well not that this was a fight, but yes - the hottest," said Blaine, as he began unbuttoning Kurt's white, perfectly fitted shirt while simultaneously giving in to the sweet pleasure of making out with the love of his life.
3 hours later, the two men lay there, panting, side by side, the sheets under them a tangled mess. Kurt was on his stomach, playing with Blaine's completely disheveled hair (Blaine had long since given up on protesting the state of his hair where lovemaking was concerned, especially considering Kurt's habit of messing with it whenever they were intimate). Blaine turned onto his side, his eyes falling on Kurt's tattoo.
It's got Bett Midler
Blaine smiled, tracing his fingers over the only marks on Kurt's "perfect, alabaster skin" throughout his body. A certain, apt nickname came to mind.
"Porcelain," He said softly.
Kurt snorted, mildly exasperated. "Not you too!" he complained, slapping his husband's shoulder.
Blaine grinned widely. "What can I say, it's my kryptonite."
Kurt rolled his eyes.
"So what now? Will you come back to New York with me? I mean, I'll stay with you in Lima if you want…" Kurt trailed off.
"And waste all your talent and big dreams?" Blaine snorted. "Over my dead body. I refuse to be the reason holding you back from becoming the brilliant Broadway star you deserve to be."
"Yeah, but I do steal the spotlight wherever I go," Kurt remarked, with sass. "Seriously though. I refuse to lose you again, I'd gladly leave it all behind…"
"Yeah? Well right back at you, Kurt. You say that now, but we both know you'd never be happy settling down in Lima. You're my husband, and stifling your dreams would be as depressing for me as it would for you. Besides, the only reason I came back was because I'd lost all my passion to really succeed. Performing on stage is when I feel the most alive, and New York... It can be scary, but it's where I belong. And being with you, it makes me feel like I could conquer the world."
Kurt realized with annoyance that he once again had tears in his eyes. Blaine's relentless trust in him continued to pull at his heartstrings.
"I love you so much. I swear, I won't let you down. You'll always feel safe with me," he declared firmly.
Blaine replied with a smile and a simple, Han Solo-style, "I know." Noticing his husband's tears, he gently wiped them away.
"Contacts bothering you again?" he asked, playfully, as Kurt rolled his eyes in response. The two lay there in silence, enjoying the intimacy. Blaine's hand caressed Kurt's damp cheek down to his sharp jaw.
"Porcelain Hummel-Anderson."
This time, Kurt jumped up, grabbed a pillow and brought it down hard on Blaine's face just as he looked up.
"Ow Kuuurt!" Blaine howled, throwing both arms over his head to shield it, anticipating further blows.
Instead, Kurt through the pillow to the floor, removed Blaine's arms by their wrists pinning them above his head, and kissed him fiercely.
"Damn, Kurt, I should tease you more often," Blaine gasped as he broke away.
Kurt smirked, and then rolled out of bed, pulling his pants back on.
"Wait, why are you getting dressed?"
There was a loud thumping on the door.
"IT'S 7 PM, YOU LOVEBIRDS. YOU'LL HAVE PLENTY OF EACH OTHER FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIVES, BUT YOU WON'T SEE YOUR FRIENDS FOR A WHILE. SO GET YOUR ASSES OUT FOR DINNER. WE'RE LEAVING IN 10."
The two men jumped as Mercedes' loud, stage voice boomed through the door.
"That's why."