Ok so yes I know things are a little messed with how people are related and who I've chose but it's my story and I think it's fun! So no mean and hatful comments, all will be ignored.
Disclaimer: I don't own Final Fantasy, Resident Evil, Full Metal Alchemist, Lucky Star, Death Note, Legend of Zelda, Durarara, or Axis Powers Hetalia IT'S A TRAGITY I KNOW! (oh and I don't own McDonalds)
Warnings: Cursing, Yaoi, AU, OCs, Crack family (as in I pulled anybody I wanted from anywhere) and some jokes, IF YOU DON'T LIKE THEN DON'T READ! YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!
"Hey Seph! Wake up." I said trying to shove him of the bed, today was the day we went to my family's beach house and he would get to meet everyone in my family, kind of nerve racking I know.
"5 more minutes." He grumbled to me, as I huffed. I turned around and kicked him right in the side and he fell off the bed with a thump.
"What the hell was that for Cloud?" Sephiroth said angry for waking him, he sat on the bed next to me and I got behind him and stood up on my knees and started rubbing his back as he purred from my touch.
Before I could do anything he flipped me over and was on top of me in a leaned down and gave me a long passionate kiss, when he pulled away I giggled and he smiled.
"Ok up now." I said and his smile disappeared. "What am I now a dog?" He asked and I giggled once more.
"Come on if you wanna leave soon then we need to get up and start going." I said trying to wiggle out from under him but he stopped me and gave the 'deer in a headlight look'.
"Oh please don't tell me you forgot!" I said shoving him off me, I knew he actually go off me cause theres no way in hell do I have the strength to push him off.
"Of Course not I didn't forget." He said as he looked away. "Fine then what are we going to do later?" I ask and I gave him a good amount of time before I answered the question.
"Were going to my parents beach house so you can meet them and some of my relatives." I got off the bed and gestured to the packed bags as he had an eyebrow raised.
"We have an 8 hour drive, so get ready quick." I said and walked into the bathroom.
"I can't believe we're almost here!" I squealed and Seph smiled, this was going to be amazing!
"So how many people are going to be here?" Sephiroth asked me, "well you have about...let me count...about 36 people including us." And Sephiroths eyes got big, "how big is this beach house?" He asked slowly as if the answer would hit him in the head with a bat.
"About 6 normal houses put together." I said quietly and the rest of the ride was in silence.
Me and Sephiroth walked in about 2 or 3 in the evening and sighed when we got into the fancy house, "Wow..." Was all Sephiroth could make out,I was i was looking down 'cause I knew what was coming next.
My Dad walked out of the kitchen with an uncooked hot dog hanging out of his mouth which made me facepalm immediately. "Hello my name is Basch and I'm guessing you're the man who vowed to take care of my son for everzies." I did another facepalm as Sephiroth laughed uncomfortably.
"Yeah my name is Sephiroth." He shook my Dads hand as my Mom came out, "Oh you must be 'Sephy' nice to meet you, my names Rain" she said, ok so my Mom was doing better than my dad (for now) "So have you and my Cloudy-poo thought about adoption yet?" She asked while smacking my Dads butt (and she blows it).
"How about we just go upstairs Seph." I said before it could get any more embarrassing (like it could...damn it I just jinxed it) "But you haven't seen Grandpa and Grandma." Mom pouted, shit not Grandma and Grandpa.
"Um aren't the rooms on a first come first serve basis?" I asked trying to weasel my way of having Seph meet them.
"No me and you Father have already pick out your room for you." Shit, shit, shit I did not want Seph to me Grandpa and Grandma.
"Who the hells talking about me downstairs." Grandpa said coming down the steps cane in hand, "No one Grandpa!" I said, fuck it's too late to leave, "in my day you didn't call your elders 'Grandpa' you called them chief!" He Said as he sat down on the couch and after he sat down he started mumbling about potato salad.
"So who all's he-" I was cut off mid sentence by my little brother shoving his head between me and Sephiroth who had been silent through this whole thing.
"Peter!" I yelled shoving him back.
"Whos this Cloud your friend you have sex with?" He asked tauntingly and Mom gasped as she grabbed Peters arm.
"In my day you didn't have people you were just 'friends you had sex with' you had friends with benefits!" I sigh, "Grandpa that's the same thing!" But Grandpa always has something to say back, "In my day you didn't disrespect your elde-" He was cut off by someone coming, I turned my head to see one of my older brothers in the doorway helping his 6 month pregnant wife in. "Oh Link! Zelda! I'm so happy to see you!" Mom said walking over giving them both a hug, "Grandpa..." Link said slowly, "In my day other men didn't get other men pregnant only woman!" He said looking up and down Zelda and Zelda scoffed and me,Sephiroth and Peter put a hand over our mouths to keep from laughing.
"Grandpa! Zelda is a woman!" Link shouted at him, "In my day women weren't but ugly!" Grandpa said as he squinted at Zelda.
"Ok how I about I show you four to your rooms!" Mom said happily as she helped Link with his and zeldas bags (after all we did have to pack for 4 weeks).
When me and Sephiroth got in our room and shut the door we both started laughing.
When we cooled down from our laugh attack we look around the room the bed was with sitting on a metallic frame, the walls were white and we had wood floors.
We unpacked everything then went back downstairs to face whatever hell was to come.
The next people to arrive was Granny and Pappy, then my other my other older brother Arthur and his husband Francis with their two adopted children Alfred and Matthew who are the cutest little things I have ever seen. Then after they came and got settled in their room my Moms sister Cindy came with her boyfriend Kevin and her two kids Al and Ed and while It looks like hes 10 hes actually 17.
Then it was Dads sister Sachiko who has a husband named Soichiro (and I didn't know they had kids) with their daughter Sayu. Monica and George showed up shortly after saying that their kids would be here soon (man am I feeling left behind that everyones kids have kids) and as soon as they said that their daughter Erika walked in with her husband Walker, both droning on about some manga or anime with their little girl making one or two comments.
"Aw look how cute she is Seph, isn't she the most adorable little kid you have ever seen." I said look up Sephiroth with a smile on my face.
"What's your name little girl?" I asked wanting to pinch her cheeks. "It Konanta and I'm not little im 18 years old!" she pouted and I instantly became embarrassed as Sephiroth and the others laughed at me, I just Buried my face in Sephiroths chest.
Kasuka came shortly soon after my embarrassment, he had his girlfriend Ruri too.
Then Came Shizuo carrying all of his Izayas and their daughters suitcases.
"Aw Mairu and Kururi look so cute!" My Mom squealed, "is this everyone?" Mom said while leading Shizuo upstairs, "I think so babe." My Dad said nonchalantly which made me bury my head back into Sephiroths chest as he smiled.
"Hey Mom!" Arthur yelled up the steps, "Do you want me to get started on making dinner?" Everyone in the room went wide eyed and Francis shook his head 'no' as he stood up. "We've had enough of Mommies yuckie cooking." Little 4 year old alfred said that warmed my heart, I suddenly wanted kids but knew Sephiroth would instantly deny the idea before I ever spoke it.
"How about I make dinner Arthur." Francis said as he walked into the kitchen. "Can I at least help?" Arthur asked.
How someone could screw up boiling water is beyond me. When Francis was preparing the food he gave Arthur the task of boiling water and not even five minutes later we heard shouting from the kitchen and we all ran in to find that Arthur had set fire to not only the stove and the pot but to the water.
So we just ordered chinese food instead. Why chinese? Because Francis had a problem with italian food.
"Who should call?" My Dad asked everyone looked at Sephiroth and I looked at Izaya, Because I knew he could get us the best bargain. But it was a unanimous vote (minus me) that Sephiroth should do it everyone was giggling when he picked up the phone and dialed the chinese restaurants number, "Hello dis Terracotta Warrior, what you orda?" He yelled (we made him be put on speaker) we all broke out laughing when Sephiroth started telling him what we wanted.
"Thirty minute." He said in his oriental accent as Seph hung up shaking his head. We were all laughing, because several times during the conversation Seph had went uh and um and let me think or let me look. It was too funny to see the man who acted like he knew almost everything get held up by a little 60 year-old oriental man asking a few simple questions.
"This isn't very good." My Dad said picking a long white hair out of his lo mein.
Everyone instantly put their food down and went eww simultaneously, "I knew we should have gone to Pooping Panda!" My Dad said crossing his arms, "what kind of person would name their restaurant 'Pooping Panda'?" Peter said starting to giggle at the name, he wasn't a bad kid he just was very annoying because he never really grew up with siblings because we all moved out plus Mom and Dad gave his way to much attention.
"Who would want to eat at a restaurant names Pooping Panda?" Shizuo said in confusion.
"In my day..." Oh god not this again. "You didn't have fancy restaurants named 'Pooping Panda' you only had McDonalds and T.V. dinners and if you wanted hairs in those you had to plant them in there yourself." We heard a loud clap of thunder that made all of us jump and the kids started crying, "I'm going to go put the kids to bed." Arthur said standing up and cleaning the kids off.
"Is that an invitation I here?" Francis said following Arthur upstairs.
"I have a story I want to tell all you youngsters." Pappy said pulling out a fake fire, then some Styrofoam logs.
"Gather around the fire youngins." Pappy said as we all took our seats.
"In my day you only had really firers no electrical powered what's-a-mahoosas."
"I was saved by a panda once..." Pappy trailed off as Grandma started to knit and both Granny and Grandpa were dozing off.
"I was in the Vietnam war when I had to jump out of an airplane and when I tried to open the parachute it gave a fart sound and nothing happened, that's when I knew I had been sabotaged. When I landed on the ground I passed out and when I awoke I was in the den of a panda of the name George and he nursed me back to health..." Pappy said this with tears in his eyes. I know Korean dramatization when I see it. "I will never forget that panda, and that's why I named my only son George."
"That was lame, you're full of shit Pappy." Ed said standing up and stretching, everyone burst out laugh at that, "I'm going to bed."
"Yup sounds like a plan." My Mom said getting the elders up so they could go upstairs.
KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK!
We all stopped and looked at the door to see it opening.
So how was it, I know it's a little long but you know I'm going to band camp and won't be able to write soon so…please no mean comments and yes I know Mairu and Kururi are Izayas sisters not his daughters but bear with me when I changed it, it's just for the better and can you guess who's at the door first two people i'll write a one shot for but you have to have the right answer. xxxKat-kunxxx
ALSO I NEED A BETA IF YOUR INTERESTED PM THANK YOU!:3
R&R