With love and empty beer cans:
Reaching out, desperate arms wide,
to connect with her father, is what she desires.
A child watching her friends' Dads hold them
when they cry,
but when she looks for comfort,
It's her father she wants,
but can never find.
And she cries for her father,
tears spill from her eyes,
they fall like the rain,
she didn't even get a goodbye.
He doesn't come to visit,
no knocks on her front door,
she continues looking,
not knowing what she was searching for.
And as years go by her Father's image tainted,
a new man comes along,
Maybe this could be the father she had awaited.
He reminded her love was strong,
he made sure he would tell her when she got something wrong.
But the strength she saw was fists curled up and leaving marks,
And the smell of smoke lingered while he broke her heart.
So love to her was punching, neglect and lies,
only when she was older did she realise.
Love was empty beer cans, cigarettes and a step dad's words of hate,
but at least he was there for her, when her real dad never stayed.
She soon learnt that she wasn't worth it.
When her step dad left, No one wanted her,
so why would she work for it?
And soon demons haunted her,
each time she smelt a smoke,
the sound of beer cans opening,
sent shivers down her spine.
fear spread through her body,
uninvited, like the rain
on days when there's sunshine.
Over the years she struggled, as she was raised on lies,
her childhood was filled with alcohol, drugs and goodbyes.
Bruises on her arms covered by long sleeves,
being excused from swimming so teachers didn't see.
Her childhood defined her she held it close and true.
But the years went by and she soon came to know the truth.
she met people who didn't leave her broken and bruised.
and soon the memories that came with the smell of cigarettes,
was replaced with moments spent at the bar giggling with friends.
Beer cans being opened,
meant it was time for fun,
laughing with friends,
relaxing in the sun.
Broken heartstrings began to reattach as the child within her knew,
what her father figures had said clearly wasn't true.
The child had grown, scars faded and bruises healed,
the new people in her life, allowed her to lower her shield.
The was no room in her life for those men anymore,
she had been fighting with herself,
so she forgave them,
forever ending that war.