I Hate That I Love You
Chapter one
Hinata simply stood by the grave, allowing herself to be played with by the wind blowing softly over the cemetery of the Hyuuga clan. Hanabi stood by her side, unwilling to go against the shinobi code and cry, not even for the death of her beloved father. Hinata was not crying only because she still couldn't believe the mighty Hiashi Hyuuga was dead. Everything had just happened so fast... one day he was talking to her about her obligations to the clan as its heiress and the next day his corpse was being carried by a few shiobi back to the village. She felt like an orphan, even though the entire clan was there, at the funeral.
Next to her, Hanabi stared at the coffin which was soon to be covered with earth, shaking almost visibly and she could see the rage burning in her little sister's milky-white eyes. Unlike Hinata, she had always looked up to her father, somehow worshipping him in a way the shy heiress never could, but now he was gone and that good for nothing older sister of hers was going to be the head of the clan. Hanabi had always considered herself to be better than Hinata, therefore, truly fit to be the heiress of the Hyuuga clan. Actually, anyone was better than Hinata and it was not a secret to the clan members, but they couldn't replace her with someone else unless she gave up her position.
No one moved. No less than sixteen pairs of pearl-white eyes stared humbly at the ground, the bravest daring to glimpse at Lady Hinata from time to time, whose facial expression was devoided of any feelings at the moment. Random thoughts ran through her head and she wished she were anywhere else but at her father's burial. It was too painful to think that the entire Hyuuga clan was now her responsibility and the thought of resigning haunted her the most. But the most indicated person to take her place was Hanabi and she was still too young for such great responsibility, not to mention that she was still a genin. Hinata didn't want to burden her little sister with something she wasn't capable of doing even if she was older.
"Lady Hinata."
The voice seemed to come from afar, but when she turned around to see who was calling her, Hinata discovered that the maid was standing right behind her.
"Y-yes?"
"Neji-sama is here. He is waiting in the main hall."
Hinata gulped. As Hiashi's older daughter, it was her responsibility to greet the guests and for a moment she was greatful that she had an excuse to leave the cemetery, even for a few minutes, to accompany her cousin there. However, it was Neji she had to accompany, Neji the shinobi from the Hyuuga branch family who despised the main family and mostly her for being weak. She sighed deeply and adjusted her simple, black kimono, with a silver dragon embroided on the dark silk and the Hyuuga symbol on both the upper arms of the garment.
Hanabi gave her a quick glance when she left and a small frown darkened her face. Perhaps leaving Hinata alone to deal with Neji was not such a good idea, but there was nothing she could do now that her sister had gone into the mansion to greet him. Feeling some sharp looks upon her, she went back to her staring at the grave in complete silence while playing nervously with the hem of her silver obi.
Hinata hurried along the long corridors inside the mansion, trying not to let Neji wait too much because it was not polite to make a guest wait. She almost tripped over her own feet because of the uncomfortable and heavy kimono, but the maid catched her in time and helped her regain her balance. The heiress muttered some excuses and inhaled deeply to regain control over her breath as well. The maid followed her silently until they both reached the main hall and Neji stood up, bowing slightly as a sign of respect towards Hinata.
"I am very sorry for the death of Hiashi-sama, Lady Hinata. I am very honoured that you have invited me to the funeral today."
She could easily tell it was a lie by the way the corner of his mouth went up a little as he spoke, but the maid didn't see. After all, that was the point of his little speech. He probably wouldn't have expressed his feelings like that if she hadn't been there. Hinata nodded in reply and spoke in a small voice:
"You may leave now, Aiko-san."
The maid quickly disappeared, leaving the two alone. Hinata tried to look anywhere but in his eyes, although she knew he was looking at her in that contemptuous way. Once he made sure no one could see or hear them, Neji slowly stepped towards her, with a cold glare fixed upon her. Hinata knew he would insult her again and she waited for the harsh words to fall upon her, knowing that he wouldn't make her wait too long.
"Well, look who's here. The heiress herself has come to welcome me to her father's funeral. What an honour indeed." he mocked icily.
"I-i am s-sorry I made you w-wait for so long, N-neji-san!" she stammered out. "I a-am glad you could m-make it."
"How could I not be with the main family in such hard times?"
Again, his tone betrayed his true thoughts but it was meant to be that way. Hinata nodded and bowed politely:
"A-arigato gozaimas. I-i know you h-had to c-cancel an important m-mission to come."
"Nothing is more important to me than this family."
Hinata noticed that he said "this" family instead of "my" family and it hurt even more than the tone he used. He would have never dared speak like that in front of someone else, because everyone reported such acts of disobediance of the members of the branch familiy to the elders of the main family and the result was the activation of the curse on his forehead.
"P-please follow me, N-neji-san."
Neji nodded and she turned around, going back through the corridors she had come to meet him and leaving the mansion and the imposing garden behind as they followed the metalled alley down a small slope towards the cemetery. Hinata prayed she wouldn't trip over her kimono again and make a shame of herself in front of him, because he intimidated her so much she couldn't bear the thought of falling in front of him. Luckily, she made it back to her place next to Hanabi without such unfortunate events and Neji remained behind a group of younger Hyuugas from one of the branch families. Hanabi watched him furtively when she had the chance, because the elders didn't miss a thing.
The old members of the main family looked at the young man as well, somewhat pleasantly surprised of the beautiful and strong shinobi he had become, because they hadn't seen him in almost two years, since the chuunin exams. They knew he had become a jonin meanwhile and that made them a bit displeased with Hinata's skills as a kunoichi, because she was still a chuunin and she had also passed the chuunin exam later than him. One of the elders sighed. She must have been the weakest Hyuuga ever and now she was the head of the family. Luckily, she would realize she wasn't good enough and give up her title. Although younger, Hanabi would have been a better choice as a heiress.
After the funeral, everybody went back into the mansion for dinner and the elders decided that Neji could join them too, an invitation which he accepted in an undertone, although politely. Hinata took her place at the head of the table, with her sister sitting next to her. Now she knew why Neji had accepted the invitation so faintly: he and some other branch family members sat at a separate table. She couldn't think of a lower form of humiliation and bit her lip, blushing in embarassment. She felt guilty for being in the main family, who treated the others like that. Hanabi seemed to notice and nudged her under the table, giving her a short, inquiring glare.
Hinata looked down and blushed even more, also feeling Neji's intense glare falling upon her like the weight of the world. She glimpsed at the elders, who discussed random problems at the other side of the table, not throwing a look at the other table, where the branch family members sat, all silent and bitter. A wish to change that suddenly blossomed in her heart and the fact that as the head of the family, she was able to make such dreams come true, encouraged her to keep being Lady Hinata, although she had no idea how she was going to speak about such delicate problems to the elders, in the council. Unobserved, Hanabi was staring at her sister, who hadn't looked so serious in her entire life. Her eyes were quiet under the long, black lashes, but the way they merged with the rest of her face gave her an uneasy feeling. She seemed to be up to something.
"Hinata, are you all right?" she asked, a bit unsure about how to approach her.
"What? Oh! Y-yes, Hanabi-chan! I-i'm all right!" the old Hinata replied, blushing again as she smiled back to her little sister. "I-i was just t-thinking that the food isn't s-salty enough."
Hanabi raised a brow in disbelief, but gave Hinata the impression that she believed her and agreed with a nod while giving another quick glimpse to Neji, who seemed to have lost his appetite and was now listening to the other branch family members. She resumed her eating, and realized that her sister was right and the food really seemed tasteless.
"It must have been my imagination." she thought, playing with the food in her plate. "Hinata's not good enough to be the head of this clan. There must be a way to make her resign and save the family. I will talk to her about this tonight. Luckily, she won't be strong enough to refuse me. What am I talking about? She never was!"
The dinner was over soon and the guest started to leave one by one, until Neji bowed respectfully in front of the elders and used his speeches again to say goodbye in the way a member of the branch families should. Just like with the other guests, Hinata had to see him to the exit, but as he seemed to know the way, she simply followed him closely, gazing at the clean wooden floors. He ignored her completely all the way to the exit, as if she weren't there, but after he put on his ninja sandals and was ready to leave, Hinata spoke in a small voice and bowed:
"T-thank you for c-coming today, N-neji-san."
"I see that you know your true place, Hinata. It's good to know that you're aware you owe me that much for you to bow in front of me. It was a pleasure to come here today, Lady Hinata." he said calmly, but in a bitter voice. "Sayonara."
Hinata watched him leave and suddenly felt the kimono even heavier than it was because of the rich silk. She leaned on a wall in order not to fall on the floor and be unable to get back on her feet before other guests decided to leave and found her lying there. It hurt her so much that the relationships between the main family members and the branch family members were so strained, especially Neji's, who only shared a small part of his hatred and contempt with her, because she was the only one who wouldn't tell anyone. And all she could do was feel sorry for him because she was too weak to do anything. Hinata found herself torn apart by her own contradictory thoughts: she could resign and be just a normal Hyuuga (the weakest that is) or she could accept being the head of the family and change some things around there, although that could make the elders angry with her. As Neji's silhouette was engulfed by darkness, Hinata made her decision.