Alright, this is my first ever PotC fanfic, and it is just a short scene which popped into my head after I watched AWE. It takes place about a year or so after the last movie, and it's really just some Jack Sparrow eccentricness (which in my opinion should be an entire genre).

Please R&R =]

}O{

"And that is why I need ter commandeer this here dinghy, savvy?"

The Port Royal dock's guard just stared blankly, and Jack let out an obliging sigh, "Do you need me ter explain it again?"

Wordlessly, the guard nodded his white wig adorned head, and waited.

"Well you see", Jack began slowly, but his words gradually picked up speed "I came here all by me onsey in a slightly faulty little ship, in order ter deliver a bit of news to the Missus of that big house over yonder, regarding her truly beloved undead gatherer of lost souls."

The guard's brow wrinkled in confusion. Firstly, he couldn't believe that the man had sailed all the way to Port Royal in a dinghy to see whom he gathered was Mrs. Turner, and secondly, he hadn't a clue what he was talking about. "Her what?"

"Her odious, er, rather, amorous lifelong aficionado?"

The guard, who was feeling increasingly irritated repeated, "What?"

Jack, who was actually rather enjoying himself by this point, began casually inspecting his fingernails. "If you're not even going ter try and listen to me, you may as well just save your and meself the trouble and let me get off with this vessel, or any other vessel you happen to have lying about. I'm not particular."

Then, when the guard failed to respond, he added, "I was talking about Mr. Turner, by the way; dear Elizabeth's husband."

Finally comprehending, the guard pointed his rifle at Jack, "What information did you have about her husband?"

"What's it to you?"

"Sir, you need to tell me. Now." The guard shook his weapon threateningly, but Jack remained unfazed.

He merely smirked at the guard mockingly. "If you ask me", he quipped, "You seem far too eager to learn more about the whelp yourself, eh?"

The guard went slightly red, "You can't possibly be hinting that I'm– "

Just then, Jack noticed that several redcoats – the same redcoats whom he had locked in Elizabeth's manor just hours before – were angrily coming up from behind a few small town houses just half a mile or so away.

Now, Jack was standing at the edge of the dock and facing the town, but the guard was facing the harbor, in the opposite direction. So, he didn't see the officers, and this gave Jack an idea.

Deciding that it was time for him to end the conversation and make a valiant get-away, he cut the guard off by smacking the tip of his rifle out of his way, and stepping up so that he was face to face with the him. Leaning in, Jack whispered,

"In fact, that's exactly what I'm insinuating at, if you catch me drift."

The guard's eyes went wide as dinner plates, and a look of absolute horror and disgust froze on his features. That split second of inactivity on the guard's part, was long enough for Jack to yank the rifle from his hands, and throw it into the sea. Then he pulled out his own pistol and aimed it at the guard's head.

Without removing his pistol from in front of the guard's face, he stepped carefully backwards into the dockside dinghy he had been trying to commandeer.

"Now, as I was saying," Jack drawled to the petrified guard as he untied the dinghy from the dock with his free hand, "I had ter inform Elizabeth that her husband would like 'er to meet him where the Isla de Meurta used to be for their anniversary. And while that may seem like a noble enough mission, yer bloody redcoat friends decided that I had some vile, nigh putrid intentions, just because they found Lizzy an' me in the same room. And they say I'm foul minded…"

By this time, the guard had realized that he had reinforcements coming, so he began to feel more confidant. "Be that as it may, sir, you are undoubtedly a pirate (Jack gave a little bow and flourish to acknowledge this) and so they had reason to chase you. And they will get you. You won't even make it out of the harbor."

Jack's gold tooth glinted as he smirked, "Clearly you've no idea who I am. Son, I'm Captain Jack Sparrow. Savvy?"

The guard, who still couldn't move due to the fact that Jack's pistol was aimed between his eyes, didn't see how the man's name could possible be relevant.

Unfortunately for him, this was soon corrected by Jack reaching out, then roughly dragging him into the dinghy, and pushing off from the dock before he could protest or fight back.

Then, with his gun still aimed at the guard's head, Jack proceeded to look at him as if he were a complete numbskull, "Well, hoist the sails then, we haven't got all day! Lucky fer you, the wind's on our side, else I'd have you rowing. And pass me that rum over there, while yer at it. "The guard had no choice but to obey, and days later, he learned why the name Captain Jack Sparrow was very very relevant.

None of the soldiers at the decks had done anything to help him, as he had sailed off with the pirate, because if they had moved, Jack assured them that he would shoot a hole through the innocent guard's head. The guard himself had pleaded loudly to the soldiers not to do anything, so Jack had been able to sail easily out of Port Royal, without any trouble.

Then, by using his pistol as a threat, he had efficiently been able to force the guard to do all of the work required to sail a dinghy, and to take him all the way to his destination; Tortuga. Luckily, the Captain had had the brains to bring enough food and rum rations for the three days it took to sail there, but nevertheless the guard was both tired and starving by the time they reached the docks of the pirate city.

Jack on the other hand, seemed perfectly content as they tied up their little craft and set off to find lodgings. In fact, his first cheery word he spoke to the guard were to inquire whether or not he happened to have extra any shots or gunpowder, for his own pistol had been empty for months.