Summary: They had never been apart. They'd always been by each others side. Strings bound them together-until one of them decided to let go.
Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.
Rating: T (some content not suitable for children under thirteen)
I F
I F
I F
IF only_.
...
...
X
N ev er,
Al w a ys
(the
oneshot.)
She let out a loud sigh as she ran her hand over his forehead the umpteenth time that day. He was incredibly irresponsible, stupid, and especially immature to get a fever so high even after her many cautious warnings. Even after she told him it was going to rain, he still trudged on outside without an umbrella or heavy coat. Now, as he laid in bed, fever running high and breathing heavily, she could only scold him outwardly. "Idiot...I can't believe you call me stupid and annoying," she murmured quietly to herself.
A glance at the clock had her up on her feet immediately. Her wavy and artfully tousled hair was shaded a soft cherry blossom pink and ran to her shoulders, her side swept bangs lightly touched her eyebrows, bringing attention to her emerald green eyes. Her 5'4'' figure pattered around the room busily before she tip-toed back over to the bed. She reached into the large plastic bowl to grab the wet towel from it. She squeezed the water out before folding the towel, gently resting it on his forehead.
Her gaze softened and she had a peaceful smile on her face as she listened to his erratic breathing calm down to a regular pace. The eighteen year old looked around the room, doing a thorough check before nodding in silent approval. "Alright then, Sasuke-chan, I'll be going!" she said to no one listening in particular. "Take care of yourself, and don't dream too much, okay?" she mumbled as she grabbed her belongings, stuffing her phone and other small precarious items into her white and green striped bag.
She slid the bag onto her shoulder before marching softly towards the door of his dimly illuminated room. As her hand reached for the door knob, her eyes flew back to his figure swiftly. Jade green eyes lit up brightly when she heard him whispering something dazedly in his sleep. As she nearly stopped her breathing just to catch what he was saying, she felt her heart drop a million miles below.
"...leave..."
She bit her bottom lip to hold back a strangled cry before making a blind dash out of the room.
"I will."
X
She didn't need to be a genius or a well bred prodigy to know that he was out of her reach. He was like Adonis, nearly shining every time she saw him; pale skin, dark features and all. While she, she was just like a flower yet to bloom fully. She had men pining after her, but the one man that she pined for, would rather do anything than to love her back. She wasn't hypnotically beautiful or gorgeous like those pampered girls, she wasn't enticing and seductive like mature women.
She was just a charming eighteen year old that could warm people's hearts, and she wasn't especially pretty, but she was decent and her rare yet light and joyous smiles made up for all that she lacked. Her eyes weren't big and almond-like, but they weren't small either. Her nose wasn't tall, small, and straight, it was short, medium sized, and curved upwards slightly. Her lips weren't red and sultry, but they were pouty and slightly chapped. Her dimples weren't adorable and noticeable, but they were there, if not secretly.
But she just wasn't enough for him to love.
She would always be just a childhood friend that's always been by his side since middle school. She'll always be the stick in the mud for him, that fork in the road, and the one thing that blocks him from getting what he truly wants because of her constant whining. She was clingy and often glued to his side, but what else could she do?
She loved him.
Not the meaningless love half the population claimed they knew and felt.
Not the puppy love that elementary students had for each other.
Not the arousing love teenagers got from raging hormones.
Not the adult-like love where everything was passionately intense.
It was the love where she knew it was reserved for him and only him, and nothing could describe it because it was just that; indescribable.
"He loves me,
He loves me not."
She didn't know how many petals she shed only to get the same disappointing answer. She didn't know how many hopeful gestures and thoughts she'd given and had.
But somehow, she just couldn't stop because it was too much.
Too long.
It was endless.
Unforgettable.
X
"Sakura-chan!"
One time, two times, three times.
Always, always, he'll always call her name until the day where she'll call his name back with the same emotion he used to call her. He will never let it go, he will never stop calling her name, he will never let her go until it's official that she was taken from his grasps. She was the one thing that made him act strangely, she was the one thing that initiated that overprotective and dark side of his. The trigger to his blindness.
He watched her as she approached from Sasuke's dorm until she walked towards him slowly. As soon as he saw that sad, colorless expression on her face, he knew that something was wrong with Sasuke.
Sasuke. Sasuke. Sasuke.
"...Sakura-chan? Is something wrong?" but to make her happy, he will never let her know that he knows that she loves him, and he will never let her know that he does love her back, and she will never know that he loves her more than anything.
He's made too many sacrifices, done too many good deeds; she will be his one and only sin.
As he looked at the free fall of her tears and the drop of her body, he spread his arms wide open for her to run to.
As he hugged her tightly, too tightly, yet not tight enough for her to find out, he could only close his eyes and live the moment as much as he possibly could. He could only close his ears and pretend for one moment that she wasn't in his arms because she needed a shoulder to cry on. He could only pretend for her, always for her, that he didn't know what had happened, that he didn't know why she was crying, and that he didn't know what the cause of her tears were.
"Naruto...Naruto...Naruto!"
She had called his name, one time, two times, three times.
But it wasn't the same emotion he used when he called her name.
His was always one of incomparable love and devotion.
Hers was always one of pain.
If only she knew the only person in true pain here was him and his heart.
X
As he watched her swing her legs at the ledge of the short, stubby wall separating the parking lot from the sand leading up to the beach, he inhaled at the sight that was her. Her every feature, from her unique pink hair, to her brilliant jade orbs, down to every crook of her body and soul. He would die and live again just to see her every day. He ran a hand through his spiky blond locks, cerulean blue eyes focused only on her. His mind—click.
That mental photograph, that stand still picture of her gentle smile, the glimmer of her eyes, the sway of her hair, the movement of her legs, the spread of her arms—it'll stay with him, always, never gone.
Why couldn't she see?
Why couldn't she understand?
What must he do?
Why is it so hard?
Since middle school, it was always the three of them.
Him after her, her after him, him always two steps ahead of them.
He wanted her to understand so badly that she was his everything, so much that he'd even quote from that obnoxiously popular book, "she was his own personal brand of heroine," and even if he was to get high off of her, he would never be able to quit, never be able to stop, he'd always continue drugging himself to the point where his own existences diminishes just so her existence preserves.
She couldn't see because he won't let her see.
She couldn't understand because he won't let her understand.
There's nothing he must do because he won't do anything.
It's so hard because as much as he hates it, he will never let her see or understand, and he will never do anything, because it will hurt her.
And he would choose his own death over her death.
Which is why he didn't mind when he felt her squeeze the life out of him with her one sentence.
"I'm going to study abroad, in America. For four years."
X
As soon as she had left his room, he had bolted upright. His facade cleared completely, and his hand flew up to catch the falling towel on his forehead. He looked at the now closed door, and below, he heard the sound of her closing the door to his house. He looked around quickly for a jacket, or a shirt, and as his eyes caught onto a jacket draped on his office chair near his desk, he slid off the bed and strode over to the jacket in quick strides.
He was about to put on the jacket, but then he heard it.
That same obnoxious voice uttering the same obnoxious word he'd been hearing the last six years, again and again.
"Sakura-chan!"
When would that stupid blond ever give up?
A smirk drew itself across his handsome face as he answered his own question.
Naruto would never give up. Especially if it involved her.
But he himself wanted her, and needed her now. He found her to be rather annoying the first couple years he knew her, but it'd been six years, and she was slowly becoming an attachment to him, and as much as he hated to admit, he was starting to feel something akin to affection for her. He didn't believe it was as strong as Naruto's love for her, but he knew that he was starting to develop that very same feeling.
And it was weird for a prideful Uchiha to admit it, but he was scared that just when he loved her to the same extent as Naruto, she'd stop loving him.
He knew she loved him.
He knew he was her everything.
He knew she would give anything to stay with him.
He knew she'd never leave him.
He thought he knew.
He really thoughthe knew all these things.
Until he remembered. That phrase he uttered. And that reply she gave him.
"Don't leave."
That was what he said.
But all she heard, was—
"...leave..."
And what he heard her say in reply to that was.
"I will."
I will.
I will.
"I will leave."
X
The reason why tears fell.
The reason why voices spoke out in anger against each other.
The reason why hands and arms had to swing out towards each other.
The reason why blood had to stain walls.
The reason why the sound of sirens coveted the restaurant.
"She's leaving because of YOU, bastard!"
The reason why her tears fell.
The reason why she raised her voice.
"Naruto, stop it!"
His back slammed against the brick wall of the restaurant. His onyx eyes downcast towards the floor, emotionless and his voice monotonous. Sasuke didn't bother to look up as he listened to the accusations the blond threw towards him. He didn't bother to fight back, didn't bother to use his own voice, didn't bother to do anything.
"You, bastard, ALWAYS because of YOU! It's NEVER me!"
Then—the one thing that caused silence to impregnate them.
"Why does everything I do have to involve you two?"
X
The floor dusted with teardrops.
The wall dented with blood.
The tables littered with glass.
Empty.
Empty.
Empty.
Run, run, running.
Chase, chase, chasing.
Try, try-
stop trying.
X
Her wavy hair was straightened today, falling just below her shoulders, a mere millimeter or two, and her bangs were clipped atop her head in a teased poof. Her normally shining jade green eyes were shielded by sunglasses that tried its best to help her cover the pain shown from the window to her soul. She wore a halter neck white dress that ran to her knees printed with green and pink designs, a faded denim jacket warming her up. A pair of delicate white flats adorned her feet.
In her hands, she led two suitcases, and on her shoulder was strapped a black handbag. She handed the two suitcases over to a man who smiled at her once before turning around to place her suitcases along with the rest.
Something inside her made her want to turn around so badly—as if there was something calling out to her.
But as the sound of the intercom was heard over the speakers, she forced herself to continue walking forward.
"Flight A92396 to America will be departing in twenty minutes, passengers please be ready to board the plane."
Her feet carried her inside the gate.
And it wasn't until then that she had the courage to turn around.
Only to see nothing—no yellow or blue-black, only swarms of families and boyfriends and girlfriends separating tearfully.
She choked out a small smile towards a little girl who was staring intently at her from beside her mother's side.
She waved to the little girl once, before turning around.
And walked.
Without her boys behind her.
Without her boys beside her.
Without her boys.
Without the loves of her life.
She walked forward.
X
Cerulean stared into shaded jade.
Onyx gazed at the hand that was last found on his forehead.
They waited for her to walk towards them.
Bruises covering their faces and all.
So they waited.
And waited.
Until she waved—they waved back but,
She wasn't even looking at them.
And then their heart skipped a beat
Two beats.
Three beats.
When she turned around and kept walking.
Without them.
She'd never been without them.
She'd always been with them.
But from now on—
She will never be with them.
She will always be...
Independent.
Lots of love,
XOXO Kaze-chan