Phantom Yankers! (1/1)

A humor fic crossover between Phantom of the Opera and Crank Yankers

RatedPG-13 for language

Summary:A few Crank Yankers regulars call our favorite masked man

Distribution:to Café Caritas,Angel or Phantom and othersYou'd like to have?Please ask.I don't bite-much.

Special thanks to my friends at the Café and AoP.Extry special thank yas to MoeDaddy.

Disclaimer:I don't own all these great characters.However,I am inclined to take them down and play with them when no one else is around.

A/N:Yes,I know I'm demented.I have a thing for humor fic-I run a Yahoo group for it actually.This is obviously an AU story.

:-denotes action

:ring:

Erik got up from his organ and walked over to the phone.

"Yes?"he spoke.

"Hi,is this the Opera Ghost?"a young woman's voice came through the speaker.

"Well,yes,this is Erik,"he replied,a bit puzzled.What woman would be calling him other than Christine?

"My name's Cammie,and I,like,saw you in the opera house the other night when I went to see Hanibal.I thought it was a musical version of Silence of the Lambs,but when I saw it was an OPERA I left.I saw you in the shadows and,like,I thought you were hot.So I looked up your number and here I am talking to you."Cammie took a breath."So like,you wanna hook up and get nasty?"

"Madame.I do NOT get nasty.And how did you find my number?"Erik was stunned at this woman.

"Oh the internet.Find everything there.Have you ever gotten nasty?"Cammie asked.

"No I have never gotten-HEY!"

"Oooooh a virgin.I like virgins.My record is four in one night…"

There was a loud CLICK as Erik hung up the phone.

An hour later…..

:ring:

Erik was writing music this time.He got up from his desk and answered the phone.

"Yes?Hello?"

"Hi Mr Opera Ghost!"A very inebriated sounding voice came through the wire.

"Umm…hello."

"Guess what Mr Opera Ghost?"

"Yes?"

"I got mail.YAY!"

"What are you talking about?"

"I got mail.I got mail.YAYYYYYYYYYYY!"

"The mail came already?Who's this?"Erik asked,perplexed.

"My name is Special Ed,and I got mail.And fried chicken.And pudding.And I wanna go to Hawaii.YAYYYYYYYYYY!"

:Click:

Two hours later……

:ring:

Sighing,Erik plodded over to the phone.

"Yes?"

"My name is Elmer.I was at your opera house and I didn't like what I saw."An elderly man was on the other end of the damned phone this time.

"Elmer I'm sorry.I really don't pick what operas get to be played…"

"Sure you do.You're the Phantom man.With the mask.Like Clayton Moore,the Lone Ranger.I once dated his sister-she wore a mask too…"

"Elmer,that's nice.But really,I can give you the phone numbers of the owners of the opera house.They can help you better than I"

"It was Paris in the spring of 1942.The grass was beautiful.Green and soft.She was gorgeous.Except for the mask.It was chartreuse with bright pink polka dots on it.And it had little pictures of porcupines on it.Laughing porcupines.Imagine trying to get romantic with mocking porcupines staring at you…"

:click:

Two hours later…

Christine entered the lair to find three puppets-a female one dressed in a short mini skirt and top,a male with a football helmet on his head wearing a t-shirt that says 'I love chicken',and an old man-hung from the top of the tallest organ pipe by a Punjab lasso.A note was pinned to the elderly puppet's shirt:

"My dearest Christine,

I have gone completely mad.

I have now taken up residence at the local branch of the National Alliance for the Chronically Foppish.

I'll tell Raul you send your warmest regards.

Here in spirit,

Your Phantom"