Hey everyone, I was bored so I put the timeless, unforgettable classic "Doom: Repercussions of Evil" through the Ebonics translator. Well, I didn't, I called in someone who owed me a favor. Sure enough, when he did it, his head exploded, just like I predicted and engineered a situation where I would help out a guy from being crushed by a Chuck E Cheese animatronic even though I pushed it on him when no one was looking in the first place, then he would have to owe me and I've said too much haven't I? Oh well. Anyway, this is the translation verbatim. With the exception of spacing it out so it isn't one big text block, there have been no changes or alterations or edits of any sort. This is straight from the translator to this site… good luck
Oh, and I own neither Doom nor the original version of D:RoE.
And special shot out to Peter Chimera for obvious reasons
Yo John Stalvern waited. da lights above him blinked an' sparked out o' da air. dere wuz demons in da base. He didn't see dem, but had expected dem, now fo' years.
His warnings ta Cernel Joson wuz not listenend ta an' now it wuz too late. Far too late fo' now, anyway.
John wuz uh space marine fo' fourteen years. When he wuz young he watched da spaceships an' he said ta pops "ah wants ta be on da ships, daddy." pops said "nahh! YOU WILL BE KILL BY DEMONS!" dere wuz uh tyme when he believed him. Then as he gots oldered he stopped.
But now in da space station base o' da UAC he knew dere wuz demons. "dis here iz Joson," da radio crackered. "You mus' fight da demons!" So John gotted his palsma rifle an' blew up da wall. "HE GOING ta KILL US," said da demons! "ah will smoke at him," said da Cyberdemon an' he fired da rocket missiles. John plasmaed at him an' tried ta blew him up. But then da ceiling fell an' dey wuz trapped an' not able ta kill.
"nahh! ah mus' kill da demons," he shouted! da radio said "nahh, John. you be da demons." an' then, John wuz uh zombie , wOrd!
Holy crap, you're still aliiiiiiiiImean did you like it? If so, let me know, hey that rhymed.