She wanted to somehow forget. Forget the echo of the gunshot that killed Romain, and the final devastating blow that killed Shepherd. Though both of them were carved deep into her memory, just like the letters carved deep into the memorial stone that's in front of her, "All gave some. Some gave all". She came to visit the memorial stone whenever she felt sad, and sometime even when she was happy. It has become her sanctuary.
It was only few hours ago that Jane Doe held her dying little brother's on her lap while her adopted mother's dead body laid on the other side of the room. She was frantically trying to stop the bleeding from his chest yelling at him not to give in. Though all he did was to cover her hand with his and smile. She never stop begging him to stay though, "please stay with me. please..!" until Weller finally lift her to her feet trying to examine her wounds. She fought Weller with all her might. Finally, he pressed her to the near by wall,
"Jane! look at me. LOOK AT ME! He's gone. There's nothing we can do for him, but we need to get you patched up"
With that she felt her whole world froze in place, and what ever she did there after was some how a virtual reality that defy what is real. They took her to the hospital, patched her up and even before the FBI team can come and get her, she walked out of the hospital straight to where she is standing right now.
Ironically, she wanted to remember the things that she forgotten and forget the things she remembers. Her mind recklessly wondered to the time when she was Remi. When she was with Orion. She wanted to remember her Orion team, their faces. What made them laugh and what made them kept on going despite the odds that stood against them. They deserves to be remembered, and they deserve to live on in her memories. Though all she could remember was small flashes of scenes. Remi and the team sitting around a campfire, or them walking into a hostile bunker. It all seemed blatantly inadequate to commemorate their sacrifice. She felt the wind getting colder. She must have been sitting on the grass by the memorial stone for more than an hour. She could hear the low chirping of the birds and the rustling of the leafs. It was only evidence that she was truly alone.
"They are taking there time" Zapata got up to from her chair at the Presbyterian hospital waiting room to peak at the examination room where they took Jane. The entire team, Kurt, Reade, Patterson and Zapata all were sitting and waiting for Jane to walk out the double doors any moment. There were all quite. The echo of what had unfolded just few hours ago was still brutally loud in their minds. They have brought down Sandstorm. They should be celebrating. Though the image of Jane holding her dying brother and the look on her face when when it finally sunk in that in a matter of 5 minutes her entire family had died right in front of her for the second time, made it rather impossible to consider this a time for celebration.
"I'm gonna go check" Kurt finally got up out of his seat and walked towards the examination rooms where they took Jane. It only took him less than 10 minutes to figure out that Jane has already left the hospital. As a massive doze of adrenaline hit his brain activating a panic he though, was that the last time he's ever gonna see Jane for the rest of his life!
He rushed back to the waiting room.
"She's gone!"
"What!", it was Patterson.
"Jane.. she's not with a doctor. They patched her up a while ago. The doctors though that she is with us."
"Did Sandstorm or CIA got to her?" It was Reade.
"Okay,me and Reade will head to the hospital security office and see what we could find. We'll stay in touch".
"I can do a lot more back at the office" with that Patterson and Kurt rushed toward the parking lot.
"Okay, I'll go with Patterson and you two, keep in touch"
"You got it."
With that Patterson and Kurt walked toward the parking lot and Reade and Zapata walk to the hospital security.
"Weller, it seems Jane just walked out on her own" It was Zapata.
"There's nothing suspicious she just walked out of the other side of the building"
"but... she knew we were waiting for her outside" It was Patterson.
A sight escaped from Kurt. "Yes, that's exactly why"
"Any ideas where she might have gone" It was Reade.
"May be she went to meet Oliver. I know Nas was keeping tabs on him because Oliver was talking to Jane", Patterson chimed in.
"Reade, Zapata can you guys get on that"
"You got it!"
Patterson looked at Kurt, "you don't think she is with Oliver"
Kurt looked at Patterson. "We don't know yet"
"Do you have any other ideas?"
"She would have gone somewhere to be alone"
"So.. where is that?"
"I think I may know, but I'll drop you off at the FBI first"
Relief washed over Kurt seeing her sitting on the grass by the memorial stone. He knew Jane. As much as he tried to deny it over the past year they were so much alike. Kurt pulled out his phone and called Patterson. "I got Jane. She's fine." and he hung up and slowly walked toward the woman sitting by the memorial stone. He have never been here before, but now he can see why Jane likes this place.
"Jane. Hey.. We looked for you everywhere"
"Leave!" She said without even turning her head, and the warning was clear in her voice.
Instead he sat on the grass next to Jane facing her.
"I won't"
Jane didn't have enough to fight with Weller. She was worn out by the day's events. She was sure he'll eventually get tired. His stubbornness will drain out and he'll get up and leave. So, she decided to ignore him. Both of them sat there next to each other until the sun went down behind them and the darkness crept across the sky.
Kurt can see the sorrow frozen in her chest. She looked like someone desperately struggling to quite the scream that's gurgling in her through. The sunset made the air feel a lot colder. He couldn't help but to notice the goosebumps creeping under Jane's short sleeved t-shirt. He pulled his jacket off his shoulders and lean forward to wrap it around Jane. The sudden movement made her turn. Just like a live magnets, their eyes clicked on to each others'. Kurt could see the hollow feeling she felt through her eyes. Her eyes always spoke so much without her volition. He moved his hands, placing them to hold her face between his palms.
"Hey.. I'm right here with you"
With that the flood gate broke loose and the ice that was frozen in place for years melted through her eyes as tears. Kurt pulled her to him and let the tears melt away until his shirt was soaked with her sorrow. They held on to each other trying to remember and trying to forget all that was done to each other until it all melted away and all that was left was Jane and Kurt in this moment. It may have been hours, neither had tracked the time.
When there were no more tears to melt away, Kurt leaned even closer,
"Let's go home Jane"
Jane turned her head down. The truth was she didn't know where is her "home" where she belonged. Though she had an inkling where she wanted it to be. Kurt Weller was her home. Her starting point. Though she would never dare say it out loud or even allow her self to think of it.
Kurt knew her well. In fact too well. He knew what is playing in her mind right at that moment. She didn't know where her "home" is though Kurt Weller know the answer to that exact question, and he have known it for a long long time.
He wrapped his arms around her torso and held her even tighter to truly know that this moment was real. Jane tilt her head so she can still see his face. Kurt ran his hand lightly across her hair. He could see her eyes glistening from the street lights. He drew his lips to a smile.
"Home is where your family is and family is bunch of people who keep an eye out for each other like we do in the field. Patterson is your nerdy sister, Reade is your practical brother, Tasha is you demanding sister, and.. I'm your next door neighbor."
Jane could not help but to raise her eyebrows at the last sentence.
"You know.. we kissed..." and he winked at Jane.
Jane could not help but laugh. It was a tired laugh. One that was stuck deep dark place for a long long time until she have forgot it was even there.
With that Jane and Kurt walked towards the car holding each other. Since that day, they held on to each other through the thick and thin for years to come.