I Hope this story will please you.
Also, English is NOT my first language. this story may have orthography/grammar mistakes, please let me know so I can correct them.
Good reading : )
Spock Prime sat on a chair in front of his 3D chess game. Since he returned in the past and even before that, he liked to sit in front of a chess game. There was never anyone in front of him, never again. But after all, he only wanted « him ».
Him who had not lived long enough to stay with him as a friend. He was mad, oh yes he was mad against him to not be here, not here to offer him his smile and sparkling eyes. He was mad at him for being a human, so weak and fragile, and have to die so young and yet so old. « Why did you leave me Jim ? »
And today, like every day since he returned in the past, the pain of lack gnawed him from within. Jim was out there alive barely different from "His" and even so he had no place at his side, it was himself, the other one who haven't been different to him. He was jealous, jealous of himself. Ridiculous. But it was the turn of his younger self to find out the priceless treasure named James T Kirk.
So he sat there, in front of this chess game, he did not play, but the pieces were placed indefinitely in the same way. He knew by heart their disposal, the one of the last set he played with Jim, a set they haven't finished and will never be able to finish.
Then in his sadness he replayed the chess game in his head, stopping where they were stopped. Fixing the pieces intensely as if he's going to move them by the force of his mind and he was waiting, waiting for the pieces to move, because it was the turn of Jim. He knew they would never moves, but it was his hope, the only hope was still given him to have. Then he stared at them, he hated them not to move, he was almost weary, but he continued and in those moments he thought back to his Enterprise.
The missions that they had done together, the habits they had taken, the looks they were thrown to each other. When the crew teased him all the time. He thought back to every times Jim had put them in trouble and to the many more times he had save the day. He remembered every moments he had played with death, where he had flirted with her without ever getting caught. He was so good at it, it looked like a God sometimes, as if it were that easy.
He smiles.
« Jim »
And then he remembered every times he had caught him in the arms of a girl or a man, so little bashful. It had always flabbergasted him, he made everyone fall under his spell. Even himself was not capable to escape from his charm, even him had fall, but he had never burned for him. This though always brought him back to that time he had shamefully confess he entered into Pon Faar, Jim had listen carefully, and hadn't mocked, hadn't judged and had saved him by sacrificing himself. This time also where he had endured the pain of an injury, pretending he was fine to let him to save his father, Sarek.
They had always trusted each other, they had always been close and the tension between them, palpable, but not disturbing.
He looked at the piece of the chess game, why didn't they moved ? Couldn't they just move ? Just one, only one, to continue the game, say he was there and definitelly end with this wait. He closed his eyes and immediately Jim's image came to him « You miss me T'hy'la », then he opened them. When he dies, does jim will come for him ?
« Jim »
He closed his eyes again and thought back to that time, this time where Jim had almost kiss him. An ordinary evening, everything was fine, no problem seen. He had chosen this day to try, he could have chosen any other day, a day when the situation was critical, a day when it would have been sad or whatever, and where, if he had regret his gesture, he could have readily accuse the situation. But no, he chosen this day, this banal day, in Spock's quarter. He had leaned toward him with such sweetness, nobody but him to his knowledge had been entitled to such sweetness from Jim. He had approached his face while his back slightly bent. His own hand was pressed against the table, nervous. He had remained motionless, letting his gaze get lost in the iris of his captain. The blond stared with such intensity in his eyes, seeking approval, but he did not know how to give it to this sun in front of him so he did nothing. What he was suppose to do to let this sun burn him ? He didn't know and the lips of Jim were close. They were only a few millimeters from his. He could feel his breath, humidity and heat from his lips. Without even touching them, he knew they were soft and experts. Jim had brush him and without taking what he seems to want, was back at a reasonable distance and had smiled, not a smirk, but a gentle smile. A smile that expressed his understanding. He knew he couldn't take those lips, even if they both did want to. A smile that said « I love you » and « I know you love me. » but silently.
A chess piece moved.
« Checkmate Spock. »
« Jim. »
« I came looking for you my friend, it's time for you to come with me. I have waited for you, you know. Without you, the new adventures were quite insipid. »
« I missed you, you've missed me so much. »
« You too. But you know, you don't have to come now, we can wait, you can still open your eyes. »
They stared at each other, then Jim held his hand to Spock and Spock seized it without hesitation.
« So it's like that eh ! »
« It's always been like that Jim, and the next time I'm going to win. »
« Sure. »
Jim smiled and let out a small laugh from his lips and Spock was really happy for the first time in years. It feels like home, a warm, soft, reassuring feeling. His soul was complete now.
End.