Ok, here's the deal. This fic was a request from someone, and also an
experiement. XD;;; an ongoing experiment, at that. This is COMPLETELY AU. C-
O-M-P-L-E-T-E-L-Y A-U. There, now that I have that said, I can completely
bash people who try to say I posted no AU warning. Got nothing more to say,
so onto it.
Weirdness is ahead. I don't own anything but my cat Pikachu. . and the name Mr. Bouncypants. But I'm willing to sell that to anyone who will pay enough money.
Sephiroths search for the fantastic flymin marmagoose
"I am... so... bored."
This was heard from the gorgeous, well built silver haired bishie sitting on his recliner in his Costa Del Sol home. It was 7:34 PM on a lazy sunday afternoon, and after a hard day of sitting back eating dorritos and drinking down about four 2 liter bottles of Mountain Dew, Seph was ready for something a bit less health-threatening.
Getting up, he felt a pop in his back and the first thing that came to mind was Cloud had come back to finish what he started in killing him. instantly reaching for his Masamune, he shoved it through a big stuffed kangaroo sitting against the wall. Instantly his eyes teared up and he grabbed it, hugging it for dear life. "MY MR. BOUNCYPANTS! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
Watching as the stuffing fell from it's body, he whimpered and sniffled and watched it slowly growl limp from lack of stuffing. Not thinking all he had to do was stuff it back up and sew up the holes, he said softly, "I shall give you a proper burning burial, with the greatest of all town fires in the history of humanity! That will teach Cloud not to scare me! hahahah!"
Hugging his beloved Mr. Bouncypants one last time, he said, "But I must do this right if I am to do it at all! This can't be just a slow starting fire, I must find a way to cause the city to completely erupt in flames all at once! That way I shall do you proper justice, my sweet little kangaroo buddy! But how...? How shall I make this work?"
Thinking for exactly four hours, two minutes, and fourty-two seconds, Sephiroth finally came up with the answer. Stomping his foot on the floor, he suddenly declaired, "I will go with Pizza instead of ribs tonight!"
A dead silence filled the air, and suddely Seph remembered this was NOT what he was supposed to be thinking about. Cursing himself, he said, "I'll think it over in bed! Over some nice hot chicken wings!"
Snuggling into bed with a bucket of deep fried chicken smothered in hot sauce, he munched on his food while watching Jay Leno make fun of Jerry Garcia for no real reason, and forgot that he was thinking of how to create the biggest fire known to mankind. Laughing at something Jay said about Vincent Price, mostly because he thought of Vincent Valentine, he began to choke on a chicken wing and passed out.
Drifting in a world of colors stranger and looking more high than Jerry Garcia himself, Sephiroth looked around at his surroundings in dizzy awe. Finally landing on the ground, the colors drifted into a large stained glass thing under his feet and a voice called out, "The door is still closed."
Blinking in utter and complete confusion, he looked down at himself. No, he wasn't someone else for some reason. Looking around, the voice called again. "Take a step forward. Take your time."
"WHOA, WHOA, WHOOOOAAA!!!!" A voice yelled. A little brown haired kid came out of nowhere holding a wooden sword. "This is MY show you long haired weirdo!"The kid kicked Seph in the shin, causing him to fall off the colorful pedistal into more darkness.
Waking once more he looked around and rubbed his head. He was in that colorful world once more, floating around lazily. Blinking he remembered the boy. "What a weirdo... sure hope I don't meet up with him again." he muttered, looking around.
Landing on a floor that wasn't really a floor, he walked around until he found a little cat. It looked up at him and said, "You are here to seek an answer mew?"
Seph blinked. Well, stranger things had happened in his life. "Yeah, I wanna start the biggest townfire known to man to honor the death of my stuffed kangaroo Mr. Bouncypants. I need to know how to do it right."
The cat nodded and turned said, "Then you must speak to our leader, the greatest of the great. The mightiest of the almighty. You must see....." A great hush fell over the area of cats and finally the kitten said, "Pikachu."
Seph's eyes went wide. "You mean that weird little electric rat?"
All the cats in the area, now over a hundred, gasped in horror. The one at Sephs feet balked and said, "No! Pikachu, the great grey cat of the gods!" She pointed to a pedistal, holding a sleeping cat.
Seph walked up to the sleeping cat and looked at it. It was tiny, only about a year old, and just sleeping there peacefully not looking all that great and wise but then again, he didn't expect to be in this place, either. Sighing, he said, "Great and almighty Pikachu, I need to know-"
"Zzzzzzzzzzzz.....mewmemememememew....." The cat snored softly.
Seph blinked, then poked him. "Um, kitty..."
"Zzzzzzzz..... mememememememew......"
Seph grew irritated. "Hey! Wake up!"
One eye cracked open, then the other, and the cat lifted his head. It looked at him with an annoyed look on it's pretty little face and said, "I'm twying to sweep."
"I need your help, oh great and wonderful Pikachu." Seph said.
"Yoo dwag me owt of sweep jus to ask me sometin? Dis be'er be gooood." he said, narrowing his eyes.
"Well, you see, I want to start the greatest and most destructive town fire in history in order to honor my great friend Mr. Bouncypants. But I don't know how I can do it right. I want to burn it all at once, not just set a fire and let it go. How should I do it?"
"Hmmmmmmmmm....." The cat pondered, closing his eyes.
Seph waited. And waited. And waited. Finally when it seemed he was about to get tired of waiting and leave, Pikachu said, "Yoo must seek owt de Flyming Marmagoose."
Seph blinked. "The what goose?"
"I di'nt stutter! Yoo need to find de Flyming Marmagoose to hewp yoo!" The cat snapped. "Now, if yoo excuse me, I's tired and want to go back to sweep."
Seph crossed his arms. "Hey! How am I supposed to get back home??"
Pikachu sighed. Looking up, he cocked a kitty eyebrow, then shot his paw out. Bloody scratches appeared on the side of Sephs neck.
"What the...? Oh well, I can live from a few screaa......" he said, speech slurring as he passed out.
Seph woke up again once more in his Costa Del Sol home, no blood on his neck from the scratch at all. "A dream...?" he asked. Then shrugged. "Oh well, just proves not to eat chicken before bed."
Stretching, he remembered what the wierd cat dictator said. Thinking, he said, "Hmmm... A flyming Marmagoose.... I wonder where I could find one of those at? Most likely not in this world. I guess I'll have to go to another. But how...? How should I do this? I need something to let me go to other worlds and such."
Thinking for about four hours, two minutes, and twenty one seconds, Seph finally decided thinking wans't working and went outside. Looking around, he saw a kid in a bandana, a weird wooden thing, and a girl who looked like a theif. They didn't look like they were from Costa Del Sol, or even from this planet. That only left ONE solution!
Walking up to them, Seph said, "Excuse me, but are you here selling Time Magazine?"
"Oi? Wha' ah you talkin' bout, mate?" The girl asked.
Seph blinked, then said, "Oh! Then if you aren't from Time, I guess you're from another world!!"
The boy nodded. "Yes. We came here from our world looking for new help on our quest. This is Mojo, The hyper aussie girl is Kid, and I'm Serge!"
Seph looked around and said, "Say... how did you... get here?"
"I had her amulet modified to take us to other worlds." He said with a grin, speaking proudly. "It can take us anywhere, but new places it just does it at random so we never know where we're going to end up. A bit unreliable at times, but meh, can't be choosey sometimes."
Seph nodded. "Hmmm, interesting, interesting, can I see this thing?"
"I Don' think so, mate. It's no' just some'n ya hand ovah tah strange blokes like you." Kid said.
"I think we can trust him, he seems nice enough." Serge said, pulling off the amulet. "See. Just gotta find a wormhole and poof! You think of a place you wanna go and you get there!"
"Ah, thanks for the insight." Seph said. Reaching behind him, he found an especially big bludgeon, which happened to be Mojo, and smashed it over Serges head knocking out both him and the wooden guy he'd used. Then he took off running.
Kid huffed. "Bloody hell! He's ge'in away, Serge! Ge'up and go after im!"
Serge was knocked out cold, but managed to throw an Inferno element out, hoping he hit Seph but instead catching Kid and knocking her out cold on accident.
"YES!" Seph yelled gleefully, skipping off. "I found a way out of this hell hole!" Dashing out of town towards the beach, he realized something. "What the hell does the wormthing look like????"
Screaming in anger, he screeched, "I JUST WANT TO GO TO ANOTHER WOOOOORLD!!!!!!!!!"
The thing in his hands glowed and suddenly hewas sucked into the ground, having miraculously stumbled onto the wormhole. Poofing from the world, he was sucked into one he had never been to before. And where he was, he wouldn't know till he decided to pay attention to his surroundings.
TBC
Weirdness is ahead. I don't own anything but my cat Pikachu. . and the name Mr. Bouncypants. But I'm willing to sell that to anyone who will pay enough money.
Sephiroths search for the fantastic flymin marmagoose
"I am... so... bored."
This was heard from the gorgeous, well built silver haired bishie sitting on his recliner in his Costa Del Sol home. It was 7:34 PM on a lazy sunday afternoon, and after a hard day of sitting back eating dorritos and drinking down about four 2 liter bottles of Mountain Dew, Seph was ready for something a bit less health-threatening.
Getting up, he felt a pop in his back and the first thing that came to mind was Cloud had come back to finish what he started in killing him. instantly reaching for his Masamune, he shoved it through a big stuffed kangaroo sitting against the wall. Instantly his eyes teared up and he grabbed it, hugging it for dear life. "MY MR. BOUNCYPANTS! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
Watching as the stuffing fell from it's body, he whimpered and sniffled and watched it slowly growl limp from lack of stuffing. Not thinking all he had to do was stuff it back up and sew up the holes, he said softly, "I shall give you a proper burning burial, with the greatest of all town fires in the history of humanity! That will teach Cloud not to scare me! hahahah!"
Hugging his beloved Mr. Bouncypants one last time, he said, "But I must do this right if I am to do it at all! This can't be just a slow starting fire, I must find a way to cause the city to completely erupt in flames all at once! That way I shall do you proper justice, my sweet little kangaroo buddy! But how...? How shall I make this work?"
Thinking for exactly four hours, two minutes, and fourty-two seconds, Sephiroth finally came up with the answer. Stomping his foot on the floor, he suddenly declaired, "I will go with Pizza instead of ribs tonight!"
A dead silence filled the air, and suddely Seph remembered this was NOT what he was supposed to be thinking about. Cursing himself, he said, "I'll think it over in bed! Over some nice hot chicken wings!"
Snuggling into bed with a bucket of deep fried chicken smothered in hot sauce, he munched on his food while watching Jay Leno make fun of Jerry Garcia for no real reason, and forgot that he was thinking of how to create the biggest fire known to mankind. Laughing at something Jay said about Vincent Price, mostly because he thought of Vincent Valentine, he began to choke on a chicken wing and passed out.
Drifting in a world of colors stranger and looking more high than Jerry Garcia himself, Sephiroth looked around at his surroundings in dizzy awe. Finally landing on the ground, the colors drifted into a large stained glass thing under his feet and a voice called out, "The door is still closed."
Blinking in utter and complete confusion, he looked down at himself. No, he wasn't someone else for some reason. Looking around, the voice called again. "Take a step forward. Take your time."
"WHOA, WHOA, WHOOOOAAA!!!!" A voice yelled. A little brown haired kid came out of nowhere holding a wooden sword. "This is MY show you long haired weirdo!"The kid kicked Seph in the shin, causing him to fall off the colorful pedistal into more darkness.
Waking once more he looked around and rubbed his head. He was in that colorful world once more, floating around lazily. Blinking he remembered the boy. "What a weirdo... sure hope I don't meet up with him again." he muttered, looking around.
Landing on a floor that wasn't really a floor, he walked around until he found a little cat. It looked up at him and said, "You are here to seek an answer mew?"
Seph blinked. Well, stranger things had happened in his life. "Yeah, I wanna start the biggest townfire known to man to honor the death of my stuffed kangaroo Mr. Bouncypants. I need to know how to do it right."
The cat nodded and turned said, "Then you must speak to our leader, the greatest of the great. The mightiest of the almighty. You must see....." A great hush fell over the area of cats and finally the kitten said, "Pikachu."
Seph's eyes went wide. "You mean that weird little electric rat?"
All the cats in the area, now over a hundred, gasped in horror. The one at Sephs feet balked and said, "No! Pikachu, the great grey cat of the gods!" She pointed to a pedistal, holding a sleeping cat.
Seph walked up to the sleeping cat and looked at it. It was tiny, only about a year old, and just sleeping there peacefully not looking all that great and wise but then again, he didn't expect to be in this place, either. Sighing, he said, "Great and almighty Pikachu, I need to know-"
"Zzzzzzzzzzzz.....mewmemememememew....." The cat snored softly.
Seph blinked, then poked him. "Um, kitty..."
"Zzzzzzzz..... mememememememew......"
Seph grew irritated. "Hey! Wake up!"
One eye cracked open, then the other, and the cat lifted his head. It looked at him with an annoyed look on it's pretty little face and said, "I'm twying to sweep."
"I need your help, oh great and wonderful Pikachu." Seph said.
"Yoo dwag me owt of sweep jus to ask me sometin? Dis be'er be gooood." he said, narrowing his eyes.
"Well, you see, I want to start the greatest and most destructive town fire in history in order to honor my great friend Mr. Bouncypants. But I don't know how I can do it right. I want to burn it all at once, not just set a fire and let it go. How should I do it?"
"Hmmmmmmmmm....." The cat pondered, closing his eyes.
Seph waited. And waited. And waited. Finally when it seemed he was about to get tired of waiting and leave, Pikachu said, "Yoo must seek owt de Flyming Marmagoose."
Seph blinked. "The what goose?"
"I di'nt stutter! Yoo need to find de Flyming Marmagoose to hewp yoo!" The cat snapped. "Now, if yoo excuse me, I's tired and want to go back to sweep."
Seph crossed his arms. "Hey! How am I supposed to get back home??"
Pikachu sighed. Looking up, he cocked a kitty eyebrow, then shot his paw out. Bloody scratches appeared on the side of Sephs neck.
"What the...? Oh well, I can live from a few screaa......" he said, speech slurring as he passed out.
Seph woke up again once more in his Costa Del Sol home, no blood on his neck from the scratch at all. "A dream...?" he asked. Then shrugged. "Oh well, just proves not to eat chicken before bed."
Stretching, he remembered what the wierd cat dictator said. Thinking, he said, "Hmmm... A flyming Marmagoose.... I wonder where I could find one of those at? Most likely not in this world. I guess I'll have to go to another. But how...? How should I do this? I need something to let me go to other worlds and such."
Thinking for about four hours, two minutes, and twenty one seconds, Seph finally decided thinking wans't working and went outside. Looking around, he saw a kid in a bandana, a weird wooden thing, and a girl who looked like a theif. They didn't look like they were from Costa Del Sol, or even from this planet. That only left ONE solution!
Walking up to them, Seph said, "Excuse me, but are you here selling Time Magazine?"
"Oi? Wha' ah you talkin' bout, mate?" The girl asked.
Seph blinked, then said, "Oh! Then if you aren't from Time, I guess you're from another world!!"
The boy nodded. "Yes. We came here from our world looking for new help on our quest. This is Mojo, The hyper aussie girl is Kid, and I'm Serge!"
Seph looked around and said, "Say... how did you... get here?"
"I had her amulet modified to take us to other worlds." He said with a grin, speaking proudly. "It can take us anywhere, but new places it just does it at random so we never know where we're going to end up. A bit unreliable at times, but meh, can't be choosey sometimes."
Seph nodded. "Hmmm, interesting, interesting, can I see this thing?"
"I Don' think so, mate. It's no' just some'n ya hand ovah tah strange blokes like you." Kid said.
"I think we can trust him, he seems nice enough." Serge said, pulling off the amulet. "See. Just gotta find a wormhole and poof! You think of a place you wanna go and you get there!"
"Ah, thanks for the insight." Seph said. Reaching behind him, he found an especially big bludgeon, which happened to be Mojo, and smashed it over Serges head knocking out both him and the wooden guy he'd used. Then he took off running.
Kid huffed. "Bloody hell! He's ge'in away, Serge! Ge'up and go after im!"
Serge was knocked out cold, but managed to throw an Inferno element out, hoping he hit Seph but instead catching Kid and knocking her out cold on accident.
"YES!" Seph yelled gleefully, skipping off. "I found a way out of this hell hole!" Dashing out of town towards the beach, he realized something. "What the hell does the wormthing look like????"
Screaming in anger, he screeched, "I JUST WANT TO GO TO ANOTHER WOOOOORLD!!!!!!!!!"
The thing in his hands glowed and suddenly hewas sucked into the ground, having miraculously stumbled onto the wormhole. Poofing from the world, he was sucked into one he had never been to before. And where he was, he wouldn't know till he decided to pay attention to his surroundings.
TBC