Rated: M (strong content and vocabulary)
Disclaimer: All characters, places, and situations are copyright of Lost, and not mine (because Shannon will be alive on the show!). This fic is for entertainment only. Enjoy!!
Author's note: This fic is only to Shannon's fans and people who dislike Sayid (sorry but I don't like this character and his behaviour or maybe the script from the show's writters. I'm thinking that I'm the only woman who dislike this character). SPOILERS. Excuse for my english, I'm not english speaker.
He's criyng for Nadia. Alone. He wants her alive.
He thinks on the past, maybe Shannon, Elsa or the others women in her life. But when he thinks on Shannon he feels well, quiet, withouth remorse about her death, because if she was still alive he couldn't to go to find Nadia.
Shannon was a burden for him. He knows that she was nice, pretty, sweet and smart but so young; and the worse, she didn't have no one in her life, he should to take care of her. Think in it produce a weird sensation inside of him, a feeling of pleausre with Shannon's death. Although he's alone, he can proclaim that Nadia was his true love.
Sometimes he ask himself why he told Shannon" I love you", and so he reply himself, because he wants her in his bed, to made love, yes, he thinks that Shannon suspected, that he's only with her for sex, that he needs to satisfy his sexual necessities, usually he needs to stay with a woman, and Nadia is his excuse for not acquire an obligation.
He treats her as a slut, well, but until he's going to find Nadia. And for what he never ran with her body to Jack, and left her on the damp ground, bleeding and dying slowy. And for what he never cry for her, he never tell her name, he never talk about her, he never take care of her things, left those rotting on the sand and he never explain to her from his past and Nadia.
It's better to forget her, she was only an objec for him.
After Shannon dies, he put his eyes in another woman, Ana-Lucía. She was attractive, strong and brave, and he must thank her for shoot Shannon. But Ana-Lucía had only eyes for Jack and Sawyer, and in fact she nevers could be with him because she had more ethic and principles than him.
But Ana-Lucía died, and he put his sight on Kate, oh Kate, the cute Kate! Definitly that was wrong, she's a Jack-Sawyer girl, and he never could compete against them.(They are more handsome than him, more tall than him , more…no, less criminals than him).
He decided see another, Juliet could be right: she was intelligent and beautiful, more than the others women, but she was selfish, maybe cause her life with Ben's company, but he doesn't know and also he doesn't matter.
Well, at last he founds Elsa, elegant and a good lover in bed, a woman who earns money by herself and don't need a husband, only a boyfriend, that could be well but finally he had to kill her.
And now, seat on an armchair, in front Nadia's lifeless body, he thinks tha he could returns at his past and save her. But what past?, one where save Shannon too?, no, that could be dangerous; if he decide to return with Dharma Initiative help, he'll do it at the point of he had the opportunity only to save Nadia. Right now he has taken his decision.
Alone in his armchair, he starts to think again. After all, Shannon was the only woman that never ask him nothing, she build her shelter alone, she help him with maps, she only ask him to talk with Locke, maybe to punch him, but when she realised that he didn't do nothing she decide to steal a gun and did it for hersefl, but finally he sttoped her not for love, only for his own benefit because Locke was the hunter of the island.
Sometimes Sayid remebers the song "Beyond the sea", the shelter that he build for made love to her, and the question: "We are serious now?". That was worse than a torture, but he answer her honestly: "Quiet definitly not",if Shannon thought that this reply was a joke, well, that was her problem.
When he looks Nadia's body, he remembers also the time in prison, in Irak, when she had playing with him talking about the comun past and avoiding him an eternal love, at least she said him that: "But you're playing". She won, she went out of the prison and he put in danger his own family for her.
All the women are used to be with him for a profite, excpet Shannon. A few times he thinks that if he never ran after her she could be alive, but this thought is go out of his mind when he looks Nadia.
He knows, he's a criminal, Nadia's not better than him, but he's worse, he's a torturer, he worked to Saddam in Irak, and he's aware that some people who has served at a dictator is in prison by a court, because they might be judge and pay for their crimes ( and Sayid knows that he has commited a lot murders), for their sins.
All sins… but what is a sin?. Ask for recover her own money is not a sin, sleep with a boy who is not a blood-brother is not a sin, but in fact Shannon never kill someone, or tortured no one, or she was not a terrorist, in spite of that she deserve dies in favour of Nadia.
The life is like this for Sayid.
One lifeone death.
The End