The first and only time I'd seen Kai cry was about two weeks after Zane's death. I'd found the fire ninja killing the training dummies on deck at 3 in the morning. I was always able to sense when my teammates were in need. So when I woke up in the middle of the night with a tightness in my gut, I'd sat up, glanced around the bunkroom and found immediately that it was Kai who was missing. With a sigh, I slipped out of bed and headed out to find my missing (hurting) teammate.
My feet patterned ever so slightly on the wood floor of the Bounty. I tiptoed up the steps to the deck, so no one else would wake up. And there Kai was, slashing away at some training dummies, stabbing , decapitating, dodging circling spikes from the training course...in short, attempting to take away his anger and block out the pain.
Kai didn't notice I was there until I pressed the button to turn off the training course. But he didn't seem surprised when he lowered his sword, surveying the deck, to find that it was me who had stopped his reckless training session.
We held each other's gaze, neither of us willing to back down. He knew I was trying to get him to break, to give in. I wanted him to come to me to admit his pain, to let me comfort him, or at least stop taking it out on the training dummies and come back to bed. And the fire ninja was trying his best to be stubborn, to hold his pride, his "reputation" of being the "cool" ninja. But I knew Kai. I knew when he was holding back his pain for the sake of others. I knew when he was slashing training dummies in the middle of the night that he needed a better outlet for his pain. He needed comfort from someone who wasn't going to judge him, someone who understood his need to be strong. Someone like me.
I had watched that night as Kai slowly broke. His sword had continued to lower, and as his arm finally went limp, the weapon clattered to the ground. I took that as my cue to move forward, slowly, cautiously, as if trying not to scare off a wounded animal. The glossiness of Kai's eyes was enough to keep me going. He needed help. My brother needed help. He needed me...
As my arms encircled his shoulders, Kai couldn't hold back any longer. A choked sob rose through him and he buried his face in my shoulder, returning the hug. I rubbed his back and let him cry, knowing he'd need a while to let all his emotions out. My own eyes stung as I thought of our lost friend. As I thought of how fragile and broken the rest of my team was. If, Kai, the "almighty Master of Fire," was here, admitting his pain through his sobs, then something was terribly terribly wrong.
I stroked his hair, whispered comforting words, but could only hope that I got through to him. Could only hope that I eased just a snippet of his pain.