A/N: Written for an hh_sugarquill prompt: "I can't talk right now, I have to get my wallet out of the toaster." 100-500words
Harry, a Wallet, a Toaster, and a Snape
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"Look, I can't talk now, I have to get my wallet out of the toaster."
"That is the most absurd excuse I've ever heard coming out of your ignorant mouth."
"You come back from the dead and the first thing you do is come here and insult me?" Harry asked incredulously. "And I really do have to get my wallet out of the toaster." He winced at the acrid smoke coming from the kitchen.
"I'm not leaving until I talk to you. And I most certainly did not 'come back from the dead'. That's preposterous."
"Fine, fine." Harry waved a hand and allowed his former professor through the door. "You can wait on the couch if you wish while I get my wallet."
"That better not be a new euphemism for sex."
Even though the acrid smoke was getting stronger, Harry stopped dead in his tracks with his face flushing red. His ex-professor did not just say that. He was torn between the belief that Snape should never mention sex in his presence or he should say it a lot more often.
"Don't you have a wallet to get to, Potter?"
Damn.
"Er, yeah," Harry answered and he awkwardly walked to the kitchen.
"Eloquent as ever, I see. Vanquishing the Dark Lord did nothing for your vocabulary."
Harry bit back a retort and unplugged the toaster. Smoke curled up from the inside and while his wallet was a bit charred, it wasn't a real fire. That was the last time he let Mr. Weasley experiment unsupervised. He poked his fingers into the toaster and hastily drew them back after he burnt them. Sucking his fingers, Harry searched through his drawers until he found a knife. He carefully stuck the knife into the toaster and tried to pry out his wallet.
In the living room, Snape was pacing the floor and making his displeasure be known. "You know," he drawled, "if you are having sex, you could hurry it up. In fact, I'm rather certain that hormonal teens your age have difficulties with lasting."
The knife slipped from Harry's hand and he accidentally jammed it through part of the metal wire of the toaster.
"You don't have to be so loud about it, Potter."
Harry stood still a moment, trying to focus all his attention on the task. With the knife now stuck in the toaster, and the wallet partially melted to the inside, the machine was lost. He picked the toaster up and slammed it on to the counter.
He heard "Merlin save me from foolish Gryffindors" from the sitting room and ignored it. He grabbed the only non-melted corner of the leather and charged into the sitting room. He chucked it at Snape who deftly caught it.
Snape looked at it in disgust. "Your wallet really was in the toaster?" he asked, shocked.
"No, it was in my back pocket and magically caught fire."
"You are a wizard, Potter."
Harry sighed. It was going to be a long day.
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