ChibiRinni: Hi Everyone! This is going to be a three shot and I've actually tried to not set my normal page limits. Normally I have a 25 pg minimum and a 45 pg maximum, but this story just flowed and I didn't want to stretch it or shrink it. I'm not sure where it's going, but I hope you all like the trip! I did my best to slide the lyrics into what the character was saying instead of separate for the first part. I hope it makes sense and always, REVIEW! I do love reading and replying to reviewers! The first song is "Where'd You Go" by Fort Minor and the second song is "Changes" by Black Sabbath. Enjoy!
Disclaimer: I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh or the songs: "Where'd You Go" and "Changes". I make no money off this. Please don't try to sue me. ^.^;;
Song Lyrics
"You left and I just can't take these empty halls anymore. No one can! I know I said I would stay always, but how could I have known that it would hurt so much to be apart? I… GAH! This doesn't sound right either! Take a deep breath." Chocolate eyes closed and in a fit of frustration he crumpled up his half written letter. A lean and long body stretched out in an office chair of soft leather. Slim fingers rubbed two thrumming temples and a sigh escaped slightly chapped lips.
"This… is so… hard." Memories assaulted his mind. Touches, kisses, fights, and smiles blurred until he realized it was his own tears blinding him. The male sat up and leisurely wiped his eyes, a soft sad smile gracing his face.
"I guess my heart is having a hard time realizing that it's all over… I know if I see your face I won't be able to say anything except 'welcome home'. Then you will leave and break my heart again. Like a drug, I need to find some way to quit you. My mouth fumbles with words, but I know my heart can make my point. I need to just calm down and let everything flow; at least that's what my best friend was saying." A lung full of air and he rose from his seat, "I'll get to it tomorrow." About a week had passed and it was back to being a lonely Saturday evening. His body was tight and jittery as he hunched over the phone. Every little sound of an empty and old house seemed to echo and none of them were the sound he truly wanted to hear. The familiar buzz of the phone is what his heart beat for. Minutes went by. A whole hour went by and he finally gave up.
"I'm so tired of this. My heart hurts." His eyes closed, "I have to leave. I need to set myself free from these four-walls of happiness and sorrow… I decided… I'm moving out." Yet again, for the hundredth time, it felt like, he picked up a pen and put it to some lined paper. Neatly, he addressed the letter to the one man who could build him up and break him down like a stack of baby blocks.
"Dear Seto,
"I bet this is the last thing you would have expected to see upon walking through the door. You are so used to me in person and yet this time all you get is this small piece of paper. As you can see those writing classes you had me take did have an effect on me. Before I get off track, and ramble on like I do in person, I'm going to set the purpose for this letter straight. We've been together for so many years and yet, the past three to four years or so have been different. Each trip you take gets longer and the time apart separates us further. The question I have for you is: Where'd you go?" Tears rushed to his eyes and he set his jaw stiff. His teeth clenched as he forced himself to continue with his letter.
"Really, Seto, where are you? Where did you go? You know what I mean by that. It isn't about this trip to England, or that trip in New York, Brazil, or even Canada. You haven't been here for so long that I feel like I will forget what your face looks like! So where'd you really go? Seto I just, I miss you so, and it seems like it's been forever… that you've been gone.
"I remember when Mokuba still lived here. You don't know it, but that brother of yours loves you so much. I couldn't even tell you how many times he's encouraged me to wait out the long periods of your absence… but he's gone too now. After his two years at community college were over he went back for more school and left. He's been there over four years now and from what he says on the phone to me… he's found a girl he likes and they've been dating for a while. She's a transfer student like him and they have a lot in common. Did you know that? Did you know he asked her if she'd come to Christmas this year and that she was looking forward to it? I haven't told him that I won't be here yet. I couldn't tell him yet; I needed to tell you first.
"I remember back a few years ago, just before the loneliness truly started to get to me, what you said. Did you think I'd forget? Even my friends remember, they said to me, "I thought he said, "Some days I feel like shit, some days I wanna quit, and just be normal for a bit." Did he change his mind?" I had to smile and defend you. I had to lie and tell them that this was your last trip and then you wouldn't need to travel so much. I don't understand why you have to always be gone. I get along, but the trips always feel so long. There is no one else here now, except me; and… me? I find myself trying to stay by the phone, 'cause your voice always helps me to not feel so alone… But I feel like an idiot; workin' my day around your call, but when I pick up I don't have much to say.
"I know that reading this isn't going to be easy for you, but it's time you finally knew… how I really feel. You know I never tried to stop you with your career. I knew how important it was for you, but you told me it was not as important as US. When I talk to you on the phone, the few and far between times, I try so hard to say I'm unhappy, that I'm tired of this life with you gone all the time, but I can't. I get so afraid that you will hang up and then act like it never happened weeks later when you call again. In this letter I can tell you everything I was too afraid to say, I'm just sorry it took me this long to say it. So, I want you to know it's a little fucked up that I'm stuck here waitin', at times debatin', tellin' you that I've had it with you and your career, me and the rest of the family here! You don't even call Mokuba that much anymore. He's the only family you have left other than me… and now I'm gone too. I get so sad here now it's like even the birds are singing, "Where'd you go?"
"Seto, I miss you so and it really seems like it's been forever that you've been gone on these trips of yours. How many more will it take before you are satisfied? I feel like I have to keep saying this because I figure if I repeat it enough then it might just stick in your mind, what has happened in your absence. I sit here, day after day and wonder where'd you go and if you're missing me or not. Is it so good over there that you don't want to come home so quickly? Does it matter to you that I miss you so and how it seems like it's been forever that you've been gone? Is there someone else there to talk to and take up your time? Is that why you don't call me much anymore? I'm not accusing you of cheating. This "someone" can simply be a business person you are meeting with. You know, I keep sitting here thinking about how I want you to be home, how I need you to reassure me that everything will be okay… but it's not okay and you're not here. Seto, please come back home!
"Do you remember that you have a home here to come back to? You know… the place where you used to live? I remember when we'd have get-togethers and how we used to barbecue up burgers and ribs even though barbecue was never your favorite. Even then you would do it because I liked the variety and you'd have yourself something simpler and more Japanese. Remember the holidays and the parties we would throw? Every year we used to have a little party every Halloween with candy by the pile. It still is our favorite holiday, at least you used to tell me it was yours too, but now, you only stop by every once and a while and half the time it was only because of the holiday, like some obligation. Even then, we stopped having the party two years in a row.
"Without you here it's like my day suddenly gained more time and I don't care if you think I'm full of shit when I say that. Really, I find myself just fillin' my time with anything and everything just to keep the thought of you from my mind. It's just too hard to think about you anymore without feeling like I lost a part of myself. When you're with someone as long as we've been together and one of them is gone it's like half of the other person's self has gone with them. Though I am nursing my broken heart, and yes I am hurt by my decision to leave you as well, I find that otherwise I'm doin' fine and I plan to keep it that way. It's almost as if you can only call me if you find that you have something to say, but I can never seem to get a hold of you when I have something to say. Have you noticed that I stopped leaving messages and trying to get a hold of you?
"Honestly, how long do you think I need to wait? I've waited for years, seeing you only every four, then five, and then six months. Did you know it's now been over a year since the last time we saw each other? A fucking year Seto! And I'll tell you, I want you to know it's a little fucked up, that I'm stuck here waitin', at times debatin', on tellin' you that I've had it with you and your career! I know that the world doesn't revolve around me, but I hoped that in our later years I would be receiving a little more attention.
"I had dreams too, Seto. I had dreams of us adopting a child and making our own family. And now I'm glad we didn't, because I would be telling you the rest of the family is here crying and our broken hearts are singing, "Where'd you go?" Thing is now you and I aren't even a family. My friends are my family. Even so, I still miss you so and it seems like it's been forever that I have seen your smile. Why is it that you've been gone from me so long? Why and where'd you go?
"I remember how you would tell me I was weak, back when we didn't know how else to flirt with each other. Call me weak now if you must, but if the shoe was on the other foot… would you have waited for me this long? Seto, I miss you so very much. Do you miss me? It seems like it's been forever that we have had a heart to heart. You've been gone so long that I have forgotten the warmth of your touch, the taste of your kiss, and the smell of our passion. I shouldn't be able to forget things like that, but the last time I saw you… The last two times I saw you, I barely got a hug, let alone the desire I held aching for you. Please come back home..." The ringing of his cell phone caught his attention. His heart beat faster and hope filled his moist chocolate eyes. It took only a second for the caller ID to tell the male that it wasn't the man he wanted.
"Hey, Mokuba, how are you?" The pen he'd been writing with clattered loudly to the floor. There wasn't time for this. There was a goodbye letter to finish, a life to start over, and a place he once called home to leave.
"I'm surviving finals. Have you talked to Seto in a while? I have some great news, but he hasn't called me in… months." Mokuba trailed off for a moment, trying to recall when he last spoke to his older brother.
"Join the club," the older male snapped bitterly before changing his tone, "I haven't spoken to him in a long time either." The silence on the other line wasn't a comfort.
"He'll call. You know Big Brother, when he's busy he only eats and sleeps work… How are you doing?" The concern the college student was showing touched his heart and he had to force the tears back. He would not burden the other with his problems. College could be hard enough and it would be wrong to say anything.
"You said you had news?" Bypassing the question entirely did the trick.
"Oh! Yeah, well… I got a ring. I just asked Ariel to marry me and she said yes! I'm getting married! I had to call and tell you. We haven't set a date yet, but we got time on our hands." Mokuba beamed and blushed with pride and happiness.
'I thought we had time… and now time's run out for us.' Chocolate eyes shut tightly and he pinched the bridge of his nose in thought.
"That's wonderful Mokuba! I'm sure Seto will be ecstatic when you tell him," a small beep on the phone alerted him to call waiting, "I have a call on the other line. It might be your brother. I'll talk to you soon?" He heard a sad sigh.
"Yeah, I'll talk to you soon. Just hang in there. Bye."
"I am. Bye buddy." With a quick click, he switched lines.
"Hello?"
"Hey there, it's been long time. What's new?" Yugi chirped into the phone.
"Oh, Yugi…" He couldn't stop the tears any longer and openly wept on the phone. His friend gave him as much comfort over the phone as he could.
"Take a breath and tell me what happened."
"I'm…leaving him! I-I can't take this… Can you help me move out?" He choked through broken sobs. He had been packing for a while so it wouldn't take him long at all.
"Of course, I'll come over right now."
"No, stop by tomorrow. I-I don't have a p-place to go to… I don't have much I'm t-taking either…" He hiccupped and punched the wall, cursing himself for breaking down. He still had a letter to write.
"You are staying with me, simple as that. Get some sleep. It's late. I'll be by around noon and we'll get you settled over here. You can take Grandpa's room. He would have wanted you to take it." Yugi's Grandfather had passed on four years ago, but it had been expected. His passing was quiet and though it still hurt, everyone was able to say goodbye.
"Thanks… so much. You are the best."
"You deserve to be happy. I want to help. I'll see you tomorrow." He smiled warmly even though his friend wouldn't be able to see it.
"Later." He hung up and ran to the bathroom. The water was icy on his hot flesh, but it helped to calm him. For good measure he blew his nose to help clear his mind. A few minutes later and the male returned, back hunched over the desk, pen in hand, writing out his soul on paper.
"I just spoke to Mokuba and I still couldn't tell him. He's engaged now. We were going to meet her, finally, this Christmas, but you will have to meet her alone. I talked to Yugi too and he's going to help me move my things out. I'm leaving most of our things here since you paid for them. You can keep them and do what you want with them. I'm only taking what I need and what really matters to me. Seto, I want you to know it's a little fucked up, the fact that I feel like I'll need to cut out Mokuba from my life in order to get over you. You are the one that left me, though you never made it an official break-up. I'm stuck here waitin', no longer debatin' about whether or not I should stay. I can't stay for Mokuba and I sure as hell can't stay for you any longer. I need to leave for myself and move on. I'm just tired of sittin' and hatin' and makin' these excuses in order for me to stay! It's not right or fair and even you can understand that. I shouldn't have to lie to everyone, including myself, for why you're not around and I'm feeling so useless with nothing to do here. Nothing I've tried has worked to take my mind away from you. It's time I left and moved on without you. Maybe then I can finally find some peace and happiness.
"You know what? It seems one thing has been true all along: You don't really know what you've got 'til it's gone. I hope you realize that you lost the only person who was willing to wait for you. I never once used you for your money or power. I never wanted any of that. I loved you for you and with your lack of attention and care I have wilted in the empty garden you placed me in. I hope, with all my heart, that you find happiness somewhere else. I know I will. Your career has become the end of us. You just stopped caring; at least, that's what your lack of communication tells me.
"I guess I've had it with you and your career. When you come back I won't be here and you can sing it... You can be the one to look around for me and say, "Where'd you go? I'm home and I miss you so. Doesn't it seem like it's been forever… That you've been gone? Now, Katsuya, where'd you go? It's just I miss you so… seems like it's been forever that you've been gone… Please come back home..."
"I won't though. I will not come home. I can't stay in an empty place like this. The only person I see here is the maid twice a week. I know you'll say, "Please come back home..."Just like a broken record, you will repeat it over and over as if to convince yourself that I'm just angry and I'll come to my senses if you persuade me enough. "Please come back home," is something you'll record on my voice mail again and again. I won't listen. I'll change my number and erase myself from your radar as much as I can. I'll move far away, live in a cave in the middle of nowhere, and all just so I don't have to see or hear you say, "Please come back home... I'm sorry. No more trips… Just this last one and I'll be home for good, I promise. Please, just come back home..." I'm the one that's sorry Seto. I'm sorry I waited this long when I have wanted to leave for some time. I love you, but it's just not enough anymore. Enjoy these four-walls of yours; these empty four walls. May they give you comfort and solace in the choices you have made and may they bring you understanding of what I went through for you. This is goodbye.
"It's over and I'm moving on. You should do the same. Goodbye.
"Formerly yours,
"Katsuya Jounouchi-Kaiba"
With a broken heart, Katsuya signed his name in neat hand writing. He wrote the date next to it as if to fully solidify that he left on that date. Tears stained his tanned face and with shaking hands he wiped them away as much as possible. With his remaining energy he dragged the boxes of his things down the stairs and to the front door. The only things he had left to pack were his clothes and bathroom supplies. Neatly, he folded his clean clothes and packed them away, adding them to the pile of boxes by the door. He put his few dirty garments in a trash bag and left only his outfit for the next morning on the chair in his room. With a sigh, he went to bed.
I feel unhappy
I feel so sad
I've lost the best friend
That I ever had
Jounouchi didn't sleep that well, the dark circles evident on his face. Still, he roused by eleven and was dressed and ready by noon. Yugi knocked on the door and greeted his friend with a somber look.
"I'm sorry Jou. I wish it didn't have to be this way." It felt like Jounouchi had gained fifty pounds by his friend's words. He didn't want pity or sympathy. Why couldn't everyone just keep their mouths shut until he was comfortable to talk about it?
"It's ok Yugi. After all this time, it's almost expected… It still hurts though. It's like losing my other half." He sighed and glanced down at all his boxes. He knew the short duelist meant well, but he just wasn't in the mood to talk.
"Well, you are in a way. When Kaiba was my Priest, you were his lover. I have no idea what happened to him. Despite his duties in the past, he held you in such high regard. I wish he hadn't lost his way in this life." Yami added as he picked up a box. The urge to kill the former Pharaoh rose within the blond, but he felt better when Yugi kicked his lover in the shin. It made watching Yami hobble to the van funny. Honda came in next, not saying a word. He only gave Jou a hug which seemed to have more meaning than any words could have. It only took a few minutes for his whole life in that large mansion to be loaded into the back of the van.
"Ryou and Malik decided their Yami's would have had a little too much to say, but they said they would visit you soon." Honda told Jounouchi while they each took a seat in the van. He nodded in understanding.
"I'll be right back guys." Slowly, Katsuya walked up the steps one last time and placed his long letter on the table where his ex would be sure to see it. His keys were placed next to the sheets of his farewell, but his wedding ring was placed on top. They were never officially married, mainly because one needed to be of opposite sexes to have the legal paper, but they had made private vows and exchanged rings on their own. It had been so long ago and now it was over.
"I loved you Seto… so much. You were my everything… but it's past time for me to move on. I'm sorry I couldn't wait any longer, but I'm done being unhappy… Goodbye, Seto." He quickly wiped his eyes and left, closing the heavy door behind him. The sound of the final click told him he was locked out for good. An urge to turn back and try to get back in filled his heart, but he took a step toward the van… and another step. Each step was easier than the last and he felt lighter than he had in years. He couldn't and didn't look back as he got into the van and they drove off.
He was my man
I loved him so
But it's too late now
I've let him go
The ride to Yugi and Yami's was silent. Honda drove calmly, every once in a while patting Jounouchi's knee to give him comfort. Yugi and Yami were in the back having a mental conversation between the two so as not to bother the other occupants.
"Is Togi watching the kids?" Jounouchi offered some form of conversation with a light smile.
"Yeah, he's watching the rug rats. They miss Shizuka a lot." Jou nodded in understanding. Otogi had been in love with Honda for years while Honda dated and then married Shizuka, Jounouchi's younger sister. Eventually they had two kids, a boy and a girl, but their marriage had gotten rocky. Shizuka had always been in love with two men: Honda and Otogi. The real problem came when she found out Otogi wasn't interested in her, but head over heels for her husband. Not to mention she had a feeling Honda had an interest in the dice duelist as well. She had, somehow, concluded that the answer was to have a three-some and make everything work. It didn't end well. Not too long after, she found out she was pregnant again, but with Otogi's child. The labor had been hard on her in more than one way and when the baby finally pulled free, her blood flowed. Nurses pulled both men from her side as she died. It had been hard for everyone. That was four years ago.
"They aren't the only ones. I miss her with all my heart too." Honda gave him a smile.
"Hey, let's not talk about sad things right now. What you need is to relax and enjoy the company of old friends. I know you're staying with Yugi and Yami, but you are more than welcome to stay with Togi and I. The kids will love that." Jounouchi gave a small chuckle, already feeling just a sliver better.
"Yeah, and be a built in baby sitter? Call me when you need a romantic outing. I still expect the regular pay…" They both laughed; a warm and comforting sound as they joked.
'I missed out on this. I've been in a relationship for so long I forgot myself. Life… is moving on.' The blond thought to himself and smiled at the world in front of him. A few minutes later and they arrived at the old game shop Yugi and Yami ran.
I'm going through changes
"Go ahead and put these in the back room. Just take a few boxes up at a time as you unpack. It goes faster that way." Yugi said with a smile as Yami and Honda unloaded the last of the boxes into their small gaming shop. Jounouchi nodded and helped Yugi take two up to his new room. When he came back down, Honda was already saying his goodbyes.
"Jounouchi, call me. Otogi and the kids say to 'hurry up and come over to play'!" A true smile crossed the tanned male's still chapped lips. He wrapped his arms around his brother-in-law and best friend.
"Thank you so much man and I will. I'll be calling and bugging you guys so much you'll wish my cell phone died!" Honda laughed and gave a few hard squeezes and pats in return before heading back to the van and heading for home. With a sigh, Jounouchi headed upstairs and started to unpack. He put his clothes away in the small dresser Yugi had cleaned out and started to set up his picture frames.
"Why did I pack this one?" He muttered to himself as he sat down on the twin sized bed. Tears reached his eyes and slowly slid down his cheeks. It was a picture of when he and Seto had first started dating. Mokuba had snuck up on them and snapped a picture of them kissing. It had been one of his favorites, but now it seemed silly to hold onto such a picture when the person in it was no longer a part of your life. Memories assaulted his mind and he closed the door, not wanting to be disturbed.
"I wonder how much time this will take… Thirteen years is a long time to get over. That's nearly a lifetime together… I still wonder why I stayed, but I guess love makes you pretty retarded. In the beginning we were inseparable. Each day was precious. We had spent more than four years fighting so when we finally took that next step… I remember how we wanted to make up for lost time." Tears flowed freely as he remembered when they finally admitted their feelings.
We shared the years
We shared each day
In love together
We found a way
It was just after the graduation ceremony. Jounouchi noticed the pin he had placed on his gown was gone. He quickly bid goodbye to the others, promising to catch up once he found it. Everyone had gone by this time so he got down on all fours to search for the pin. He supposed it wasn't of great importance, but he would hate to have to get a new one to match his friends.
"Still digging holes in the dirt, Mutt?" A cold voice snapped. Jounouchi rolled his eyes. He had been able to avoid the brunette the entire day, but it seemed his luck had run out.
"Kiss off Kaiba! Don't you have anything better to do than to bother me when I'm looking for something?" Jounouchi growled in return and continued to look.
"You mean this piece of shit?" He turned and saw the CEO holding exactly what he was looking for. A smile crossed his face and he jumped to his feet.
"You found it! I thought I lost it." Jounouchi walked over to the other, ignoring the sneer that marred the other's handsome facial features.
"If you call stepping on it finding it; I should sue you for the booster shot I'm going to have to get!" Once they were a yard apart, the blond put out his hand.
"Yeah, yeah, yeah, just hand it over and I'll take it off your precious hands." His eyes narrowed as the sneer turned into a smirk.
"Perhaps I should keep this as evidence." Kaiba chuckled and hid the pin on a back pocket of his trench coat. He heard the other growl.
"Just give me the fucking pin! It's of no value to you." Kaiba smirked further.
"No, but I don't give a mutt a treat if it's misbehaving to his master. You want it that bad Mutt, come and get it." With a glare, the blond rushed forward, and reached out to grab the other. It became almost like a game of tag until Jounouchi tripped and fell flat on his face. Kaiba stood above him and laughed. Quickly, the blond grabbed his enemy's foot and yanked it out from under him, gaining the upper hand. Swiftly, he straddled the taller boy and pinned his hands down with one of his own.
"Time to give it up Kaiba," he smirked in triumph as the other squirm beneath him. He leaned forward to keep more of his weight on the other's wrists, but was surprised when he felt something hard against his rear. Kaiba's cheeks flared a light pink and he stopped squirming.
"Get off me you idiot!"
"Are you… hard? Seto Kaiba has a fucking hard on!?" Jounouchi snapped in an unbelieving whisper. The thought of Kaiba hard as a rock caused his own cock to twitch to life, only the CEO had yet to notice.
"It's a pen in my front pocket you moron!" The blonde's free hand reached behind and traced the budge that was obviously in the front of the other's pants and not in a pocket.
"Don't lie to me you prick! I pinned you down to get back what you have of mine and you get turned on!" As Kaiba tried to overpower him, he leaned further forward until he was nearly lying down on top. He pressed their foreheads together roughly and stared into the deep blue eyes of his rival. Almost immediately, Kaiba tried to overpower the blond again, pushing back with his forehead. The stalemate was over once Jounouchi tried to shift for more balance. Their faces slid across the other at a tilt so that their mouths collided. It was a kiss. It was a slightly painful kiss considering their teeth smashed together, but both closed their eyes at the same instant and explored the other with their tongue. It was passion and heat, and in the moment Jounouchi released Seto's hands. Said hands suddenly wrapped around him and flipped their positions so the blond was on bottom.
"Holy shit!" Katsuya shouted when their lips parted. He moaned as the other male rubbed their hard-on's together. Kisses and touches continued where no words were necessary. Both were close to finishing off in their pants when someone shouted at them.
"Are you two fighting? Get out of here!" A security guard growled and flashed a light on both boys. Kaiba was up instantly and pulled Jounouchi along, dashing across the field to his awaiting limo. Once they were inside he snapped at the driver to just "drive" and rolled up the window to separate the driver from them. He turned to the other and a staring contest ensued.
"What the hell was that all about, Kaiba?" Jounouchi growled softly, unsure of how to take what just happened between them. No one, not even Yugi knew that Jounouchi got all hot and bothered over Seto Kaiba. It was his own little secret and it appeared that Kaiba had a similar secret.
"I should be saying the very same thing to you Puppy! Where did you get the balls to kiss me?" He hissed at the other. They were quiet again until Kaiba thrust forward and caught the other in another heated kiss. Hands touched and groped as moans flowed from slightly parted lips. They separated again.
"Tell me, where'd you get the balls to kiss me!?" Jounouchi growled and then nearly jumped on the other male's lap, kissing and grinding until they both felt the rise of heat in the limo. Their actions slowed, becoming less urgent and sporadic and more curious and gentle. Again they parted, panting and excited.
"Who knew you were gay… I've wanted to do that since you first pushed my buttons." Jounouchi admitted. He recalled all the "mutt" and "dog" references the other would make to him and how he had always hoped there was some hidden message in them; being called a "mutt" always made him think of them doing it "doggie-style".
"I always wondered if you were interested in me. I thought I made it obvious to you I wanted you. Why else would I spend so much of my time riling you up?" The blond blushed and then purred as his crush nibbled on his ear. A tongue slid along the outer shape of his ear.
"After all this time, are we finally crossing that line?" Kaiba whispered.
"We crossed that line when we started kissing each other back… Let's keep crossing it." Though they were horny as hell for each other, they spent the night kissing and talking, figuring out where they were headed for next.
"That was so long ago. We had so much passion and love in our hearts… I wonder what happened, Seto. Why did you think you needed to stay away so long when all we ever wanted was to be together until the very end?" Jounouchi sobbed softly to himself as the memory faded.
But soon the world
Had its evil way
My heart was blinded
Love went astray
Yugi reached up to knock on the door that separated him from his grieving friend, but his lover caught his wrist. The smaller male turned and looked confused.
"Aibou, he just needs a few days. Let's not pressure him. He lost his love and he's going to need time… Kaiba is lucky I don't kill him." Yami whispered and started to pull his love away from the door and back down the stairs.
"I just can't stand to see him like this! I want to curl up with him and cuddle him to death! He just seems so distraught and broken right now and it's heartbreaking for me. I wish he told me he was leaving sooner." Yami nodded in agreement.
"Yugi, he probably just realized that he was done. If we give him time, he'll be back to the old Jounouchi we remember. He'll be back to eating three pizzas on his own in no time." Yami assured him and received a smile.
"I trust you on that Yami. It just isn't going to be fast. He's really hurt and just… going through changes. He'll move on eventually and hopefully Kaiba will just leave him alone. It'll be better if they both just went their own ways… right?" Yami gave him a shrug and pulled him into the kitchen.
"Let's start dinner. He'll come down when he's good and ready." With a nod they began to cut vegetables, add seasoning, and make the steamed rice. Dinner would be delicious and plentiful.
I'm going through changes
Jounouchi wiped his eyes and placed the picture back into the box, face down. He walked over to the bathroom, glad that he had his own in his room. He wasn't ready to face his friends again, even though he knew they wouldn't judge him. He dried his face with a towel and tried to unpack again. He didn't want to reminisce. He didn't want to think about Seto at all, but it seemed his heart and mind weren't done with his hurt. Jounouchi could remember the last time he saw Seto and how he wanted so badly to throw a tantrum as his lover left.
"Seto, why are you leaving again so soon? You just got back last night! How can your flight be leaving this afternoon?" Jounouchi snapped, not hiding his annoyance. His lover gave a tired sigh, almost as if he were bored with the conversation.
"Do I have to explain this to you again, Kats? It's a huge deal. They called me right after I got home last night and wanted to meet a.s.a.p. You don't make these men wait. They have just as much money as I do and are willing to place a good chunk of it into the company and new project. When this is all over, I'll be home for good." Jounouchi only glared, hurt and anger shimmering in his honey brown orbs.
"You said something similar about the last trip! Seto, I'm all by myself here! There isn't a need for all the servants and I've let most of them go. Mokuba is away at school and you should be here… with me. You got home so late last night that you fell asleep right when you hit the pillow. I wanted to touch you and give you attention, but you obviously had no energy." He watched his lover pinch the bridge of his nose. Oh how Jounouchi hated when he did that!
"I haven't slept in three days and you wonder why I don't have very much energy? I told you that when I got home. What's the big deal? I'll be back shortly!" Their voices grew in volume.
"What's the big deal!? I love you Seto and I'm trying to show it and you only push me away! Why haven't you hugged me or kissed me? You pay so much attention to Kaiba Corp that you leave little to no time for us. I don't care about the money you'll make or trivial things like that. I care about you and I just want us to be together!"
"Are you trying to tell me that I don't love you anymore? I love you with all my heart and soul and I'm trying to close all these deals so I can stay at home with you! It all takes time. You told me you would wait, that you understood, did you lie to me?" Seto accused. He was so mentally tapped out from work that he wasn't fully sure what he was saying. Tears appeared in his lover's eyes and he pulled him in for a hug.
"Katsuya… Katsuya don't cry. I'm just tired and pissed that I have to leave you so soon. I swear this is the last time. No more after this. We can move on and put this behind us. I promise." He kissed the blond on the cheek and wiped his tears away, "No more tears and being upset. I'll be back before you know it. It'll be like I never left." Katsuya nodded, feeling defeated, but he didn't want to let Seto leave mad. If he did and something happened, he would never be able to forgive himself.
"Ok Seto. I believe you… I love you." He gave a gentle kiss to his lover, pouring his tender love into the kiss.
"I love you too, Puppy." Seto said, pulling away and giving him one last smile before he left. That had been over a year ago. The calls even got less frequent. There was always an excuse as to why he was still gone and Katsuya just got tired of waiting.
"I did lie, Seto… I didn't believe you that time and I was right not to. You never came back. How could you say you love me? Were you lying about that like you were about returning quickly? I'm so done with lies and promises. I'm fucking tired of this shit." Jounouchi punched his pillow for good measure and wiped his sore eyes. He knew they must be so puffy and red that he looked ridiculous, but he didn't care.
It took so long
To realize
And I can still hear
His last goodbyes
"I need some sleep." He said with a sigh. He placed his cell phone on the dresser while he disrobed. Jounouchi took off his T-shirt and tossed it to the floor. His shoes soon joined the small pile along with his socks and pants. He pulled the blankets back on his new bed… his small bed… his still empty bed, and slid in. It didn't matter that it was too early to go to bed, but he was sick to his stomach with a broken heart. He tucked himself in and closed his eyes. It didn't take him too long to fall asleep. He had been stressing for weeks and was physically exhausted. His eye lids fluttered as he began to dream.
"Who called dis meetin' ta orda? Who's in charge here?" A young pre-teen version of Jounouchi snapped impatiently. He had a big number three on his shirt. Another Jounouchi stepped forward, but he looked a little older and the number two was on his shirt.
"What's it to yas? Sit down n' shut yer trap. It aint you're turn to talk. It's his." A third Jounouchi joined the rest, but he was the oldest and most mature of them all with a number one on his shirt.
"I know I'm dreaming, but I guess I should make the best of it," he said with a sigh. The youngest rolled his eyes.
"You think yer betta than us? Talkin' all proper."
"Which one of you is in love with Seto Kaiba?" Jounouchi number one suddenly demanded. They all grew quiet for a moment before all three raised their hands.
"Now that that's settled, how can we deal with this? It's killing me to have all this hurt! I'm tired of feeling lonely and isolated. It was like being a prisoner in that huge house with no one to stay with me." Jounouchi number three looked up.
"What can we do? I say, fuck um'! He can kiss muh ass fer all I care! No one has a right ta hurt us like this, not even Seto." The second Jounouchi agreed with the third.
"One day at a time should help. It's not the total end of the world. We ain't old yet! Like, old, old I mean. Fun: that should be on our mind. Let's go have some fun to take our minds offa that bastard of an ex." Though they all seemed to be in agreement, none of them seemed to have the right strength to do it.
"What happened to us?" Number two wondered out loud, "We didn't take shit from nobody and now we are all sitin' here ballin' for some prick that we ain't seen in a year!" A loud sigh echoed around the room. What could they do or say that would make their situation better? They were running into dead ends at every turn. Not even the tough act was helping.
"You know what," number one said after some time had passed, "I'm not going to sit here and waste my tears. If I was able to go back in time and change a few things, the outcome might have been different, but that's not the case. We were in love and we somehow drifted apart. I should have gone with him instead of staying at home." Number two shook his head at number one.
"None of this was our doing. We was never invited and when we tried we got turned down. He knew right where we was an he thought we'd just stay put like the loyal little dog he thinks we are. We have been loyal, but I have a feeling he wasn't as devoted as us. He's all business… Still, we loved him." Jounouchi, all three of them, sighed again. They began to head out, going back to their rightful places in the sub-conscious. As the oldest went to leave, a pair of golden eyes caught his attention. He walked over to the eavesdropper and realized how much they looked alike. The only difference between them was the clothes they wore. The newcomer wore a simple tunic over what looked like a towel wrapped around his waist. There was no number on him though. After a short staring match, the elder Jounouchi spoke up.
"Did you have something to say? You have to be another version of me…" He trailed off as the other took a step forward and began to speak.
"My name is Jono and, in a way, I am you. I belonged to Seth a long time ago in Egypt," at the shocked expression on Jounouchi's face, the other continued, "I do have something to say. I did not have the luxury of time with my soul mate. Be happy that you had so much time. I am not here to change your mind on the things you've already decided. I am a part of you, have felt your happiness and sorrow, and I understand how you feel. Nothing was your fault… All I ask is that you stop and think, 'Would I have given up our time together if I knew it would hurt this much later on?' Can you answer that for me?" Jounouchi looked away, tears coming to his eyes. His Egyptian self just waited.
"I… I would have suffered through everything a thousand times if it meant I got to keep all our happy memories. I will never stop loving Seto," he whispered and turned back to his other self, "But I, at the same time, can't let him keep treating me the way he has. If I see him, I don't know if I'm going to hug and kiss him, or fucking kick his ass… I just can't let this sadness go on." Jono smiled in understanding.
"I judge you not. I feel the same as you. No matter what we do, we need a change. If Seth has seen the error of his ways, perhaps there is still a chance…"
"But if he doesn't, we are better off without Seto." Jounouchi added. Jono stepped forward and gave the other a hug.
"Decisions like these are not easy, but this is your life to live. If you can live without him, the rest of us in here," he tapped on Jou's forehead, "and in here," he then tapped on Jou's heart, "will understand. We are you, after all. It's time to rest. No thoughts or dreams; just rest… You are safe within." Jounouchi felt sleep come over him and slowly sagged in his past self's arms. He felt warm and comforted. For the first time, in a long time, he was completely relaxed. Jono combed his fingers through his twin's blond hair. When the other had fallen asleep, he smiled and faded like the rest.
The real Jounouchi Katsuya fell into an even deeper sleep. One where there were no dreams or worries. His body was healing from the stress of reality. The only questions that seemed to remain unanswered were: Would the rest of his days be filled with tears? Could he, and would he, ever forgive Seto if they were to ever see each other again? He was in such a deep sleep he didn't hear the soft buzzing of his phone vibrating on the dresser. It buzzed several times before falling silent. Again it buzzed and fell silent and the caller was left to deal with the blonde's voice mail.
Now all my days
Are filled with tears
Wish I could go back
And change these years
Not even a few hours had passed since Jounouchi left when the lock in the door jingled. The knob turned and the door creaked open. Kaiba Seto picked up his bags and entered his home. He swiftly kicked the door closed behind him and sighed. He was completely jet lagged and just shoved his bags to the side. The house was quiet. He stretched a little and looked around. Where was his husband?
"Jounouchi, I'm home!" He called out and walked further in. The CEO set his keys on the table and took notice of the letter and ring. His body stiffened. Softly he whispered the name of his lover, hearing it echo back as if it were a ghost to haunt him.
"Jounouchi…"
I'm going through changes
ChibiRinni: Well, that's the end of part one. Part two is on its way a.s.a.p. Now we get to hear Seto's side of the story. I'm still kicking ideas for the final part of this three shot story, so I'm wondering: who out there thinks they should find a way to get back together or who thinks it's best to call it quits? I want a small vote on this, but you need to give a SONG as the reason why they should or shouldn't get back together. Just like how I used two songs to fully tell Jounouchi's side, I want the readers to vote and share a few songs that cement their vote in place!
Jounouchi: You are just evil.
ChibiRinni: And you know all of you love every minute of it! Until next time readers: read, review, and vote to help me decide on how to end this little story of love, loss, and…(unknown)!