The start

****Warning: ED/Self-harm/Language****

"I hate you!" A blonde hair, blue eyed, boy screamed out. He ran away to his room, locking the door behind him, and went diving into the the bed as he cried into his pillows.

The boys mother came walking up to her son's door, knocking softly, but she was ignored as she heard sniffles coming from the other side of the door.

Her son was just ignoring her pleas and apologies, leaning her head against the door, she wiggled the door knob to no avail. Standing there motionless with the world crashing down.

She slowly fell to her with her hands sliding down the door. Tears falling to the floor, she held her hands close to her heart, with whispers of "I'm sorry.."

"I'm sorry." Was all the doctor could muster up to the man in front of him.

Tears came streaming down violently from his beautiful sapphire eyes. The man fell to his knees, holding himself, whaling hysterically. All the doctor could do was knelt down to lay a hand on the man, comforting him, as he cried.

A few moments passed and things started to become silent. No sound in the hospital and no sound in his mind. He looked up to the doctor with glazed red eyes to say "Thank you" with an emotionless tone.

He walked in silence. He could see people moving around him in the building. He accidentally bumped into another man walking his way. The man apologized, but the blue eyed man kept walking.

Walking out of the hospital to his car. He sat in the driver seat for a moment while all the memories flowed into his mind at once. More tears began to fall as he backed out of the parking lot and drove away.

He made his way to the closest liquor store and obtained the strongest whisky possible. The older salesman looked concerned for the man in front of him, but didn't open his mouth.

Once at home, the man took a seat in his lazy boy so he would be able to drown himself more into sorrow and pain.

Alfred awoke in a panic, sitting up taking a hold onto his shirt tightly, inhaling and exhaling violently. Meeting lavender eyes, next to him, looking to him with worry. "I tried to wake you." Matthew spoke.

Matthew reached up to wipe the stray tears off of his brothers face, but all his brother could do was look away with a pain look to his eyes. Alfred gave one more heavy exhale to calm himself down.

"The nightmares are getting worse, Mattie..." Alfred said with a shaky voice as he snuggled closer to his brother for comfort. He held onto Matthew's shirt with dear life as if this is the last time they would see each other.

Matthew gave a slight nod as he held his brother closer to him as he fell back asleep with ease. On the other hand, Alfred wouldn't be able to fall back asleep after his nightmare. He was slightly happy, at least, he had his brother next to him.

The early morning came at last with the blairing of the alarm clock. A hand underneath the covers came creeping from underneath turning the obnoxious sound of the clock off.

With a grunt, he rolled over, reaching next to him only to find the space next to him empty. He opened his right eye, lifting the covers up only to reveal he was right.

He closed his eye, moving the cover back into place, he rolled over to his right side to sleep for a little longer. After a few moments to no avail, Arthur stood up to take a fast shower.

Arthur never enjoyed sleeping alone. Once he knew his love wasn't next to him he would have to get up and start the day. It had it's pros and cons.

With finishing getting ready he made his way downstairs only to find Francis in the kitchen finishing up making breakfast. The man was wearing a purple, long sleeve, button up. Black dress pants with black dress shoes.

His blond hair was tied in a loose ponytail hanging over his right shoulder. Some of his hair was loose around his face only to emphasize how beautiful the man looked.

"Good morning, Mon amour." Francis moved gracefully to the opening of the kitchen giving his lover a soft kiss to the lips.

Arthur pulled away from the kiss with a splash of pink filling his cheeks. He tried rubbing the kiss away while Francis could only laugh.

"We've been married for a long time," Francis said as he walked over to the stove. "and yet you always blush like a schoolgirl."

Arthur was about to retaliate, but was interrupted by his son walking into the room. "Good morning, dad and papa."

"Good morning, Mathieu!" His papa said with a soft smile. He sat a plate of food down on the back of the counter, for his son.

Arthur walked over to the cabinet, grabbing him a styrofoam cups, and pouring himself fresh tea his husband just made. "Where's your brother?" He put the pot down and leaned his back on the counter looking at his son.

Matthew already took a bite of his grits, swallowing, he took a sip of his milk before he answered. "He's still getting ready."

"He needs to hurry, or he's going to miss the most important meal of the day." Francis said while washing the pots and pans he used.

Matthew only hummed in delight of the delicious food as you heard Arthur calling upstairs for his other son. "Alfred! You need to hurry up, or you'll be late!"

Arthur didn't want to deal with this again. For the past few months Alfred has seemed different. He still goes to his therapist and takes his medication, but something's been up.

He's fighting a lot more to not go to school, more than usual, he's also been more of a recluse if no one needs him. He's isolating himself. Keeping to himself even more.

Alfred walked downstairs into the kitchen giving a big yawn. "Sorry. I couldn't find my jacket." He gave a goofy smile while scratching the back of his head.

Francis chuckled as he set Alfred's plate next to his brother. Alfred took a seat next to his brother as he looked down at the food in front of him.. He felt a small tug on his shirt from his brother.

Closing his eyes, signaling a nod, he started eating. Arthur and Francis could see that their son was tired. The bags under the boys eyes were a dead giveaway.

Arthur only sighed wanting bring it up, but said nothing as he reached into his pocket grabbing his keys. He walked up to his love and gave him a kiss quickly before he left for work.

"I'll see you guys tonight." He said making his way to the front door, "Keep me posted, Francis!" Arthur slightly yelled as he walked out the front door.

"Are you okay, Alfred?" Francis asked while taking off his apron, folding it, only to put it into a drawer.

"I am, papa." He said with a smile, "you don't need to worry about me." He took the last bite out of his food. Francis only gave a sigh in defeat.

He knew his son hasn't been sleeping well. He would hear screams or whimpers at night coming from Alfred's room. Francis was happy he always had Matthew by his side to comfort him, but even so he still wished Alfred would come to them.

Francis begins to reminisce the time when he was finally able to bring the boys home. The two were inseparable, always holding hands, never really spoke to anyone. Always keeping to themselves.

Even with silence from the boys, you knew right off the bat who was the most protective. Who was the quiet and shy one.

He broke out of thought when he heard the sound of glass being set in the sink. He only gave a smile when he saw Matthieu looking at him.

"I'll be right back." Alfred said as he walked up stairs to his bathroom.

"You didn't finish your breakfast, Matthieu?" Said boy just gave a small shrug while he walked over to the pantry grabbing saran wrap.

Putting his plate up he followed behind his brother, knocking on the bathroom door. "Let me in, Alfred."

Matthieu heard the door unlock and he made his way inside. He leaned against the wall, watching his brother purge up his breakfast, with his arms crossed.

When Alfred finished he cleaned up his mess and washed his hand. He begin to brush his teeth while Matthew purged into the toilet.

Alfred looked at his brother with red glazed eyes in sorrow. He didn't like to see his brother hurt himself, or feel hurt in general, but what else is there to do for a release?

Alfred was now leaning against the wall while Matthew was getting cleaned up and brushing his teeth. They heard their Papa call up the stairs for them. Making sure everything was in order they made their way downstairs.

Alfred took a styrofoam cups from the cabinet and poured some coffee in the cup before the trio set out. The boys grabbed their bags as Francis walked out the door.

Francis made himself comfortable in the driver seat, while the boys slid into the backseat. Fixing his rearview mirror he looked at the boys. "After school, don't forget you two have an appointment."

Francis backed out of the driveway and set his course for the boy's school. "Do we need to?" Alfred asked as he pouted, crossing his arms. "We are getting older. We shouldn't need to speak to anyone!"

"Yes." He went straight to the point. "It always helps to talk your problems out, Mon lapin."

Alfred stared out the window as he heard his brother chime into the conversation. "Papa is right." He said sweetly, "it helps a lot."

Alfred wanted to argue, but he just sat there with his mouth shut. Watching buildings and cars pass by him in silence. He never enjoyed the thought of talking with someone about his issues.

He didn't want to talk about them then and he surely doesn't want to talk about them now. What is there to actually talk about? If he talked about them it'll just be a vicious circle of the same thing. The people closest to him know the story, so why talk it out?

Matthew took ahold of his brothers hand. He saw a small smile come across Alfred's face. 'We need to talk so others do not notice.' he gave a silent sigh squeezing his brother hand with little pressure.

The three pull up to the front of the school. The boys stepped out of the car grabbing their bags. Francis stepped out of the car to give the boys a hug and a kiss to the forehead.

Francis knows his boys are seventeen years old and he doesn't care. He will always hug and kiss the top of his boys head until the day he dies.

They said their goodbyes and parted ways. The boys walked into school while Francis drove to his restaurant to make sure things are still in order.

"Guten Tag, Artie!" A German man said coming up next to his blonde haired friend. He threw down a folder next to the man who stared at the computer with emerald green eyes.

Arthur broke his attention, from his work, to look over at the snowy white hair, albino, with red eyes staring back at him with a goofy smile. "Arthur." He said in an amused tone, "Good morning to you, Gilbert."

"You look like you haven't slept a wink! What's up with you?" Gilbert asked him pulling up a chair next to Arthur while sipping his coffee.

"I'll be fine." Arthur replied.

Gilbert gave a slight nod, but could only see the bags under the emerald eyes of his friend. Knowing things are still rough he wanted to ask, but he didn't pry.

"You have a new patient today." Gilbert stood up to stretch, "Don't work yourself to hard." Walking away with his hand raised.

The only think Arthur could do was grumble. He can take care of himself, he's a doctor for heaven sakes. He stood up, with chart in hand, and made his way to the new patient room.

Knocking on the door he made his way inside. "Good morning, Mr. Reynolds. How are you this morning?"

The man on the bed took a couple of coughs while he used the remote to make the bed sit up. "Terrible." Was the only word he was able to muster.

"We'll do everything we can to get you better." Arthur said with determination.

He asked his patient more questions about his condition to get more insight. He also called in for some test to be done, but he withdrew blood from his patient.

Arthur loved being involved as much as he could with his patients instead being the doctor who asks questions and signs off papers. Once he was finished he made it back to his desk, waiting for the test results, he was able to get back to his paperwork.

Alfred pulled out his math book and stuffed it into his backpack. Giving a sigh he looked to his left at his brother who was giving a small smile while waiting.

"Hey, you two!" A brown hair with a side curl, Amber eyed, boy walked up. He gave Alfred and Matthew a tight hug.

"Morning, Feli." Alfred said as he tried struggling out of the death grip his friend had on him.

Matthew was also beginning to struggle free. They felt the grip loosen and they finally could breathe correctly.

Feli went on to tell them how Ludwig has been. The German has been busy with school and hasn't been able to find time to do anything. Alfred also discussed how Kiku has been. He's been in Japan for a while, traveling.

Ludwig already graduated high school a year before them with their good friend Kiku. It was only this trio left with an add on of Lukas and Mathias.

Walking to the next class Feli went on to tell them he brought lunch. Pasta was made last night by him and his older brother Romano. Once that door opened, he began to talk about other pasta recipes he would love to try out.

Alfred and Matthew could only walk and listen to their friend who has an obsession. Matthew gave a chuckle every time Feli would go from one pasta story to another and then jump back to the first.

The three took their seats for math class only to come find out they have to do a quizz. Grones filled the air while the teacher ignored the tension in the air.

Mr. Ira, the math teacher, gave papers to the front row to pass back. Once everyone was ready it was time to start.

After what felt like years the lunch wave finally came. The boys took their seats and Feli passed out the pasta that was made. Mathias and Lukas sat next to them and also indulged in the wonderfully made pasta.

They began discussing class projects and what they were going going to do with their last summer plans. They all graduate soon and will be starting college in the fall.

"Maybe we can go on a road trip?" Alfred said excitedly while taking a bite out of his pasta.

"We don't have a car yet, Alfred." Matthew chimed in after he took a small bite out of his pasta.

"I could see if Ludwig could come with us? If not, we can do something here!" Feli went on and on about ideas for the last summer plans.

"I'll probably out for the summer with family. They can never decide where they ever want to go." Mathias spoke.

Lukas could only nod at that comment. "I agree. They do need to choose. This is the summer I'll be joining y'all."

Mathias could only blush with a smile, but he never showed as he changed the subject. "Anyways, I think that would be a great idea to see if you could pull Ludwig out of his cocoon. He's been so busy lately."

Feli started to discuss what been going on and why he was so busy. The other three started to talk about places they would like to go before the last summer ended for them.

As everything began to calm down and with it being only a few moments before they had to start their next class. Alfred took his last bite of pasta and chugged the rest of his water. "Alright, dudes! This hero needs to use the restroom." He salutes and made his way to the restroom.

Matthew set his fork down to talk to Feli about things they should do for their last ounce of freedom this summer until adulthood hits them pretty hard with adult like responsibilities.

Alfred walked into a single bathroom, locking the door, he lifted the toilet seat with his shoe. He balled up some toilet paper into his left hand and placed it on the bowl.

He stuck his fingers down his throat until his food came back up. It took a moment for all of it to finally come out, but once the deed was done he cleaned up himself and made sure there was no evidence.

School was finally wrapping up and friends were saying their "goodbyes" and "see you later" until the next day. Walking out of the school together Feli received a call from Ludwig and put it on speaker.

"Guten tag."

"Luddy! How are you?" Alfred said snickering.

You heard a sigh coming from the German, but he decided not to take the bait. "I'm good. What are you three up to this weekend?"

The three looked at each other with a shrug. "I'll take the silence as you don't know. If the three of you like to, we can have a get together Friday."

"that sounds so fun!" The Italian said with stars shining in his eyes. " We can all try this new recipe I'm learning!"

You heard the German chuckle on the other side. "Sounds good to me. Alfred!"

Alfred stiffened for a moment and then answered his friend. "Bring your games. We need to have a fun day." Alfred agreed with a smile on his face.

"Matthew, don't forget your pancakes and Maple syrup." Matthew also agreed letting him know that he would never forget.

They finished up the conversation and said their goodbyes. At that time Francis pulled up to the entrance getting out to speak with the kids.

"How was school?"

"Good! My brother and I made pasta last night and we had that for lunch." Another door opened to where he began talking to himself about pasta.

"It was good. I was able to pass my tests and quizzes with ease" Matthew said with a happy grin.

"I told you, Mon lapin." Francis started patting Matthew's head, "you'll do great! And you did."

"I know, papa."

Before Alfred could say how his day went, turning around, they heard someone calling out to the Frenchman in the parking lot. They saw a curly brown hair, green eyed, man walking up with an Italian, walking behind him, who has brown hair with a side curl and Amber eyes.

The Spaniard was wearing blue jeans, a white shirt, with a black vest. The italian man was wearing dark blue jeans, and a baggy gray T-shirt.

"Hello, mi amigos!" The Spaniard said with a smile plastered on his face as he walked up to Francis with the Italian on his tail.

"Bonjou, mes amis!" Francis went up to the Spaniard wrapping his arms around him.

"Going good!"

Francis released his friend with a smile, but his attention turned to the other man. Before the Italian could react he was already bounded by the arms of the Frenchman.

"Let go of me." Harsh words came out like venom.

"Honhonhon I have you now!" The Frenchman said with a devilish grin. The Italian looked over to his friend for help, but nothing came about.

"Antonio! You tomato bastard! Get this pervert off of me!" The Italian yelled trying to free himself from the man's clutches.

"Be nice, Romano." He said with a sweet smile. "We also have children here."

"I'm not a child Uncle Antonio." Alfred huffed

Matthew could only roll his eyes at his brothers comment. " of course not, Alfred."

Antonio was unable to hold in his laughter. The Frenchman's grip loosened as he looked at the Spaniard with a small chuckle.

The italian was finally able to wiggle himself out of hold his friend had around him. A moment later Feli came up only to wrap his big brother in another hug. Feli gave his brother the big Italian smile while he talked non-stop about pasta and how everyone loved the meal.

"We need to get together for drinks this weekend." Antonio threw out to get the attention of his friend.

"We need to see if Gilbert is off this weekend." The Frenchman added.

The Spaniard couldn't agree more. He loved to get this trio together for drinks, but he'll be damn if he and Francis go by themselves without Gilbert tagging along, again. They learned their lesson.

"Romano can baby-sit!" Antonio had a bright smile on his face.

The only thing Romano could do was look at the man with an eyebrow raised. "I have more important things to do then take care of adults!"

"No Amigo." Antonio shook his head, "These teenagers. Make sure they don't get into trouble."

"What can we do?" Feli asked with a slight head tilt with a innocent look to him.

Antonio looked taken back while Francis just chuckles. "I guess Romano can be our designated driver."

"I didn't sign up for this." Romano said as he walked away cussing under his breath.

Matthew tugged on his father's shirt to grab his attention. "Papa?" Franice gave him his full attention. His son went on to talk about the idea if he and Alfred could also get together with their friends this weekend.

"Ve~ it'll be great!" Feli said out in excitement.

Francis looked over two the other men to see what they thought of the idea. No one seemed to mind. Now they would have to talk to Gilbert.

"Alright, you two. We need to head out." Francis looked over to his boys, "we have important things to do." He placed his hand on top of Matthew's head.

They all said their goodbyes until the weekend comes around.

Receiving the results back from his new patient. He walked into his room to inform him that he had meningitis and must be treated immediately.

Arthur flushed out the mans IV and started him on some antibiotics. He gave him some pain medicine to help with the pain and the headaches to subside.

When Arthur finished up with everything he needed to do, making sure his patient was comfortable as much as he could be for the time being.

Arthur told the man that he will be making other rounds again soon and that he will be checked up on. Once he finished everything he was able to walk out back to his desk.

The Brit noticed a cup sitting in front of his keyboard. Steam still coming from the hot beverage. He noticed a yellow sticky note in front of the cup.

Picking up the note it read. "From the AWESOME Gilbert!" He saw a little drawing of a bird next to the man's name that had a arrow pointing to another name, "Gilbird!"

Arthur gave a slight smile and took a sip and went on his day of reckoning. Helping and talking with his patients. Having to take care of some of his non patients since some doctors were at lunch or out sick.

The boys were sitting in the waiting room for their Russian therapist. Alfred was playing on his phone while Matthew was reading a book for school.

"I don't see why we need to keep coming." Alfred spoke quietly without taking his eyes off his phone.

Matthew closed his eyes slowly with a quiet sigh. "We are not okay. You know that as much as I do."

"It's a vicious cycle to talk about the same thing over and over."

Matthew closed his book and looked over to his brother. "I know, but if this will let people know we are fine."

"I'm fine. I don't need anyone to take care of me." Alfred crossed his arms with a pout. Before Matthew could say anything he noticed the Russian man.

"Dobryy vecher, you two."

"Hey, Ivan."

"Hey, dude!"

Both boys said in unison. Ivan gave a slight smile looking at them. "I'm going to do something different today." Both boys looked at him with curious faces but also a look of nervousness.

"Don't worry. It's nothing bad." Ivan put his right hand up. "I want to talk to you two separately."

They both nodded though deep down Alfred was having a mini anxiety attack, but on the outside he looked calm with determination. Matthew on the other hand kept his composure with a smile.

"Alfred. Come with me now, da."

Alfred followed the man into the next room trying to keep his calm, but that was hard. He had his hands in his jacket pockets. They walked into the room and took their seats across from one another.

The first thing you notice walking in was the big glass window wall. On the left wall was a big shelf with all kinds of paperwork. To the right is a L-shape desk, which is neat and organized, and right next to that is another bookshelf that had all kinds of genres of books.

"Tell me what's on your mind." The Russian man sat there, legs crossed, with a pen and clipboard in hand waiting patiently for the boy to speak up.

Alfred wasn't having any of this. He and Mattie hide and share each other problems, but hate to speak to others. He's always been like that.

He always likes to figure out his own problems. Alfred doesn't need anyone, but himself... well, his brother but that's already said and done.

He sat there with his arms crossed looking to his left of the organized shelf of paperwork. He doesn't want to keep remembering his horrible past.

'Just have to wait until the fall.' he thought to himself as he shifted in his seat, laying his head in his hand, elbow on the arm chair. The Russian sat there with a amused look on his own face.

"Alfred." He called out with a deep stern tone breaking the silence. Alfred jumped in his seat, gathering his bearings, looked to the Russian with a smile.

"Yeah, dude?"

"Everything okay?"

"Yeah, sorry."

"What's on your mind lately?" Ivan asked again.

Alfred took a moment to speak up and the Russian caught on quickly. "There's nothing to talk about." The boy sat up straight adjusting himself so he can cross his legs in the chair.

"I just don't like being here. I've been coming ever I was ten and now it's all getting old. Honestly, what else is there to talk about?"

Ivan gave a small sigh, uncrossed his legs, and put clipboard down on his desk. "I know, Alfred." He leaned forward with his hands under his chin, "All I want to do is see you are holding up. How are the nightmares?"

Alfred thought about the answer quickly, but that didn't get passed the Russian as he caught on. 'Something's up.' Quick as the pause seemed the American answered his questions with the same comeback every time. "They're fine," or "They're getting better."

Oh how much the Russian hated to hear those words coming from his mouth. He was invading the question with a easy answer. He noticed recently the boy starting to clam up.

'Why?' Was the only question he had. What does he not want to talk about? Whatever that answer may be he was ready for it to come out. He was tired with the cat or mouse games.

In the beginning he might had to walk on eggshells until the boy was comfortable with him, but not anymore. He sat up straight looking to the smiling boy with a straight face.

"How school?"

"It's going good. Boring stuff we are learning, but I get to hang with friends." The blonde responded.

Ivan gave a nod. "How about your family?"

"Papa has been busy with the restaurant while dad's been busy with the hospital." he responded again.

Alfred went on talking about how the family Dynamic was. Had some good days and bad days with the family, but not every family is perfect. He also went on to talk about how he picked up a new hobby recently.

He started to run every morning when he could. Mattie would join him at times, but not always. The Russian was happy to hear everything but he was ready for the truth. If this boy could speak of other things he can speak on how he's feeling.

"Alfred." Alfred gave the man serious focus. "I need you to tell me the truth." The boy tilted his head a slight bit. " How are you actually doing?"

Alfred did everything he could to come up with something convincing, but to no avail. His normal lines are the only thing that came to mind, but he knew Ivan was tired beating around the bush.

He knew the Russian could only take so much until he became scary. You don't want to mess with that man under any circumstances. "I'm okay." Replying with a faint smile.

The Russian rose an eyebrow as the boy went on talking. "I do have nightmares every now and again, but they're becoming better. Matthew has helped me a lot including dad and papa." Shifting uncomfortably in his chair he kept speaking, "as to answer all your questions I am okay and I have been coping well." Giving his heroic smile, "As I said before, I love to run and hanging with friends and family."

"If anything is ever bothering you, you know you can call me." Ivan spoke. Alfred gave a nod and began to speak to the Russian about other topics and random things for the rest of the therapy session.

All the Russian could think of is that he'll open up soon enough, but once an hour was up Alfred sat out in the waiting room and Matthew walked into the room.

The session went well with Ivan as Matthew is a Mastermind at hiding how he truly feels. Giving information out to what the Russian feels acceptable. He's been playing this game for a long time and has become quite the liar.

The conversation with Matthew always runs smoothly, but the Russian is beginning to think that they're running to smoothly. He has a gut feeling, but he isn't going to pry because who trusts their own gut.

When the two first came in it was Matthew who explained the story. He never held secrets, he never felt like he needed to, he was the easy going of the two.

Ivan wished Alfred would open up, but he knew deep down if something was truly wrong the little Canadian would say something. He wouldn't allow his brother to drown.

That thought still doesn't soothes the Russians mind. Alfred hasn't always been open, but he hasn't been this shut off before. The boys use to be opposite. Matthew, when they came to speak to the Russian, was the quiet one and hiding behind his brother. Alfred was the talkative one.

Alfred never spoke of his past much, he has told bits and pieces, but has never spoke about it himself. The Russian was able to know everything because of the boys parents who told the truth.

Arriving home Alfred and Matthew made their way into the kitchen. Matthew poured him some orange juice while Alfred leaned against the counter waiting for there papa.

Francis made his way into the kitchen so he could start dinner, gathering the ingredients, the boys began to help their father prepare the meal for the night.

After an hour or the Francis heard the door open letting him know his husband was home. Francis walked out into the foyer wrapping Arthur in a hug, giving him a kiss. "Oh, Mon amour. I missed you!" Squeezing tightly.

Arthur, tried his damnedest to wiggle his way out of the bone crushing hug, but was finally set free. "You don't have to constrict my airflow, frog!" He spat.

Francis smiled, walking off, ignoring his other half. "Dinner is almost ready. Go ahead and get washed up."

Arthur could only roll his emerald green eyes as he followed behind his husband. Upon entering he saw Alfred sitting on the counter.

"Get down off the counter." Arthur demanded as he crossed his arms.

"Why? I'm not hurting anything!"

"Because I said so."

"I'm not gonna break it." Alfred jumped off the counter.

Arthur gave a sigh. "Down now." He said with a stern voice. "Counters are something you shouldn't be sitting on, that's what chairs are for."

Alfred was about to say something but he decided for once that would be in his best interest. He was too tired to argue. "Besides" his father went on, "you never know if you could break it. There's a possibility for anything, but knowing you, you'd break it."

Alfred's eyes widened for a second, but Arthur never caught it as he was at the sink washing his hands. Alfred wanted to cry at the comment his father mad. 'He called me fat...' Alfred hopped off the counter, walking to the table, taking a seat next to his brother.

Arthur cleared his throat and looked up to his boys while he dried his hands off. "How was school?"

"It went well." Matthew gave a happy smile

"It was good." Alfred chimed not really caring.

The Brit nodded to what his children said. Arthur never picked up on Alfred's tone of voice, Matthew did, to anyone else it just sounded like he was tired.

Arthur is well aware that his family isn't perfect and can be dysfunctional at times, who's family isn't? With that being said he wants to try his best to be in the lives of the boys.

For being a doctor, Arthur, can still be oblivious to his children and how they're feeling. Not on purpose, but I guess he's just wishing for his son's to be okay.

Francis walked over to the dinner table and sat the food down. Everyone gathered around the table and dug into the delicious meal that was prepared. Laughter and chatter could be heard all around the table that night.

Once dinner was finished francis and Arthur started to clean up the dinner table. The boys ran up stairs, hurrying, to the bathroom.

Alfred turned on the shower while Matthew lifted the toilets lid. Alfred walked back to the counter, opened the left drawn, underneath the rubber matt was a piece of metal.

He stepped back into the shower with tears. He began purging everything until it was the taste of stomach acid in his mouth. Tears violently fell to the tub floor as red lines began to form on his arms.

Droplets of blood started rising up until the water hit the marks to make it flow faster. He started moving the metal slowly and deeply.

Matthew finished up his session and cleaned up everything to how it was. Sitting on the toilet he waited for his brother to be done with the shower.

Alfred fell to his knees silently, breaking even more. The stream of tears wouldn't stop falling. Remembering everything that has happened in the past to him and his brother.

How he wasn't able to always protect his little brother. He was week. He couldn't protect his brother, he failed. He covered his hand over his mouth, trying to stay calm from screaming, shaking violently.