p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"em"Doug Levey, a biologist at the University of Florida, had discovered that mockingbirds could pick out a threatening person from a crowd. Levey had one person stand near a mockingbird nest and touch it, while other people avoided the nest. Later on, the mockingbirds recognized the intruder and attacked him, while ignoring the other people".br /Title source: Harper Lee./em/p
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"_/p
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""emI watched thee when the foe was at our side, ready to strike at him, or thee and me, were safety hopeless rather than divide, aught with one loved, save love and liberty."br /emLord Byron/p
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"-/p
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"I watched from above and from below, from the darkest shadows that were wailing and weeping. I watched the steps he made and the paths he took, from a distant future, reminiscent and radiant. I watched his every move and I judged, merciless and adamant. I stood. I watched, I took, I touched and I loved. For I was the watcher, the grim shade that followed like him like his past and the nightmares that haunted his subconscious mind./p
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"He was skinnier than the last time I saw him, slimmer, yet at the same time, he was carrying a gloomy weight on his shoulders. The strength in his eyes had dimmed, the thin, bright and shimmering layer over his orbs gone, his eyes hidden behind protective shields of fear and his steps undetermined and unsure. Hesitatingly. Despondent and disconsolate./p
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Oh, how I wished I could have been there. I wished I could have held him in my arms; tell him it was going to be all right. I wanted to let him fall asleep in my guarding arms and watch over him as his dreams fogged his unsteady mind. I would have kept him save from the dark and the shadows, be his abstruse and indomitable, be right next to him when his night terrors claimed his restless sleep and hold him again, close and deep inside. And if they would come, the dreams, the terrors attached to disconcerted sweat, I would listen to his soft cries and watch his pain-riddled face. I would let him suffer, for that was the only way to conquer./p
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"If only I could have laid my hands on the man that got to him. The Reaper. A cruel and avid name for such a ghost. I wish I could deal with him, but my duties laid with him. A simple bullet, that was all he needed to get under his skin and into his mind. I had been watching for weeks, planning and living in antagonizing desire and he disrupted everything with a simple bullet. Oh, how I wished./p
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"If only I could have been the one that took him like that, control him like a puppet, take his life. I would not only have taken his life, I would have taken his soul and delivered it right to the gates of hell. I would have been that messenger, that carrier. That soul taker and soul bringer. I would have been that Angel of Death. Cruel, ruthless and unyielding like the knife of a butcher. Aaron Hotchner beat me too it, a small wave of disappointment was traced back inside my head, but the surroundings of his death were more than satisfying. He got what he deserved, they all and always did. After all, we were mere drivers in a car that was spinning out of control, speeding too fast for the world and eventually, we would crash. We would. Because that's the way it worked. And I would drive the car and spin it out of control until I no longer understood what was left and what was right, up or down./p
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"I would. For him./p
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"He used to have this unidentified spark in his eyes, this small and weird security of confidence and boldness. Independence. He had that untouchable, unshakeable, comfortable aura surrounding his muscular and tender body. He just looked so damn unbreakable, I wished I could break right there him, just by twitching my head, like a twig or a tooth pick. I wanted to own this man, master him, overcome, overpower and overwhelm him. I wanted his strong shoulders to hang in desolation. I wanted him to long for my embrace, our relationship recondite and esoteric. Only we would understand, only we would feel it, reciprocal, down in the dark abyss of our hearts, because we already felt it. We belonged to each other, like yin and yang. He was too autonomous and sovereign. It was wrong and inimical. Things would have to change for us to be together./p
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"I saw him fall. And I felt like I had fallen myself. I saw him break and I felt it in my own soul. I saw him tumble down into the depths of this nowhere without boundaries. I saw him fall onto his knees and he bowed his head. I felt humiliated. This was not the deity man I had watched, these were his remains. I was gingerliness, ambivalence raging through my body, unsettling my mind. He had fallen, like Icarus, wanting to much, seeing so many, flying to high. When his body hit the ground, crumbled and broken, useless like waste. Was I the one to help him up, restore his pride. I felt him, deep, deep inside my inner me. I had to. I must. He was mine. Soon./p
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"But I no. Wait. I cannot. I must not. I had to wait./p
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Long, lonely and solemn hours I spent hiding in the shades of the night, peering into his apartment, watching everything he did. Short, joyful moments I earned when the break of dawn woke him up, sunlight permeated his apartment. I loved it when he woke up. A new day, new start. My stomach tingled with excitement as I waited to study his half naked body recalled the memories that plagued his mind and made him shatter like a mirror./p
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"My fingers itched unbearably, I could not take it. I had to restrain myself from going to him and fulfil my darkest, deepest, most morbid and such sweetest dreams. Oh, I longed for him. Those dreams haunted me, even while wide awake. I came so close to losing it, too close. And I had paid the prize for that. But I couldn't resist, he was so close to me, I could smell him. I could have touched him. I used all the will I had to keep my hands where they were in order not to take him right then and there, white-hot pain and vehement anger rushing over my body, a bitter taste in my mouth, my limbs shaking, profound desire cutting into my heart, deep hurt down to my bone marrow./p
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"If only you knew, what I wanted to do to him./p
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"I would make him beg, for me, for mercy, for life. I would make him scream in agonizing, blinding pain, making him mine and have him conquer his worst demons. I would rid him of sins and cleanse him, make him whole again. Complete him. I would have saved him, just in time, before the Doomed took him, extending their claws to hold him down, sinking their teeth into his flesh, breaking his bones, tearing him apart like hell hounds./p
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"I could taste his blood in my mouth. I could picture those lips onto mine so perfectly; it was profuse reality in my mind. I could scratch my nails over his attractive body, make him mine. I would be able to feel him, actually touch him. I would embody his desperate cries, like prayers on Sunday, the repercussion of the sing-song lessons throughout the church, and carve them into my soul. I would mark him, own him. For I already did. I would take him. Love him. Redeem him. Love him more./p
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"And then I would kill him, and leave him. For I loved him. And I died him. Radiantly in the insetting morning dew, vibrant and faint. I was waiting, I would strike when the moment and the time was right. It was all I needed. The right moment and the right time. It was all a killer needed. It was all I needed./p
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"And I watched./p
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"_/p
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;""emI watched thee when the foe was at our side, ready to strike at him, or thee and me, were safety hopeless rather than divide, aught with one loved, save love and liberty."br /emLord Byron/p
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"-/p
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"I watched from above and from below, from the darkest shadows that were wailing and weeping. I watched the steps he made and the paths he took, from a distant future, reminiscent and radiant. I watched his every move and I judged, merciless and adamant. I stood. I watched, I took, I touched and I loved. For I was the watcher, the grim shade that followed like him like his past and the nightmares that haunted his subconscious mind./p
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"He was skinnier than the last time I saw him, slimmer, yet at the same time, he was carrying a gloomy weight on his shoulders. The strength in his eyes had dimmed, the thin, bright and shimmering layer over his orbs gone, his eyes hidden behind protective shields of fear and his steps undetermined and unsure. Hesitatingly. Despondent and disconsolate./p
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Oh, how I wished I could have been there. I wished I could have held him in my arms; tell him it was going to be all right. I wanted to let him fall asleep in my guarding arms and watch over him as his dreams fogged his unsteady mind. I would have kept him save from the dark and the shadows, be his abstruse and indomitable, be right next to him when his night terrors claimed his restless sleep and hold him again, close and deep inside. And if they would come, the dreams, the terrors attached to disconcerted sweat, I would listen to his soft cries and watch his pain-riddled face. I would let him suffer, for that was the only way to conquer./p
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"If only I could have laid my hands on the man that got to him. The Reaper. A cruel and avid name for such a ghost. I wish I could deal with him, but my duties laid with him. A simple bullet, that was all he needed to get under his skin and into his mind. I had been watching for weeks, planning and living in antagonizing desire and he disrupted everything with a simple bullet. Oh, how I wished./p
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"If only I could have been the one that took him like that, control him like a puppet, take his life. I would not only have taken his life, I would have taken his soul and delivered it right to the gates of hell. I would have been that messenger, that carrier. That soul taker and soul bringer. I would have been that Angel of Death. Cruel, ruthless and unyielding like the knife of a butcher. Aaron Hotchner beat me too it, a small wave of disappointment was traced back inside my head, but the surroundings of his death were more than satisfying. He got what he deserved, they all and always did. After all, we were mere drivers in a car that was spinning out of control, speeding too fast for the world and eventually, we would crash. We would. Because that's the way it worked. And I would drive the car and spin it out of control until I no longer understood what was left and what was right, up or down./p
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"I would. For him./p
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"He used to have this unidentified spark in his eyes, this small and weird security of confidence and boldness. Independence. He had that untouchable, unshakeable, comfortable aura surrounding his muscular and tender body. He just looked so damn unbreakable, I wished I could break right there him, just by twitching my head, like a twig or a tooth pick. I wanted to own this man, master him, overcome, overpower and overwhelm him. I wanted his strong shoulders to hang in desolation. I wanted him to long for my embrace, our relationship recondite and esoteric. Only we would understand, only we would feel it, reciprocal, down in the dark abyss of our hearts, because we already felt it. We belonged to each other, like yin and yang. He was too autonomous and sovereign. It was wrong and inimical. Things would have to change for us to be together./p
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"I saw him fall. And I felt like I had fallen myself. I saw him break and I felt it in my own soul. I saw him tumble down into the depths of this nowhere without boundaries. I saw him fall onto his knees and he bowed his head. I felt humiliated. This was not the deity man I had watched, these were his remains. I was gingerliness, ambivalence raging through my body, unsettling my mind. He had fallen, like Icarus, wanting to much, seeing so many, flying to high. When his body hit the ground, crumbled and broken, useless like waste. Was I the one to help him up, restore his pride. I felt him, deep, deep inside my inner me. I had to. I must. He was mine. Soon./p
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"But I no. Wait. I cannot. I must not. I had to wait./p
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"Long, lonely and solemn hours I spent hiding in the shades of the night, peering into his apartment, watching everything he did. Short, joyful moments I earned when the break of dawn woke him up, sunlight permeated his apartment. I loved it when he woke up. A new day, new start. My stomach tingled with excitement as I waited to study his half naked body recalled the memories that plagued his mind and made him shatter like a mirror./p
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"My fingers itched unbearably, I could not take it. I had to restrain myself from going to him and fulfil my darkest, deepest, most morbid and such sweetest dreams. Oh, I longed for him. Those dreams haunted me, even while wide awake. I came so close to losing it, too close. And I had paid the prize for that. But I couldn't resist, he was so close to me, I could smell him. I could have touched him. I used all the will I had to keep my hands where they were in order not to take him right then and there, white-hot pain and vehement anger rushing over my body, a bitter taste in my mouth, my limbs shaking, profound desire cutting into my heart, deep hurt down to my bone marrow./p
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"If only you knew, what I wanted to do to him./p
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"I would make him beg, for me, for mercy, for life. I would make him scream in agonizing, blinding pain, making him mine and have him conquer his worst demons. I would rid him of sins and cleanse him, make him whole again. Complete him. I would have saved him, just in time, before the Doomed took him, extending their claws to hold him down, sinking their teeth into his flesh, breaking his bones, tearing him apart like hell hounds./p
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"I could taste his blood in my mouth. I could picture those lips onto mine so perfectly; it was profuse reality in my mind. I could scratch my nails over his attractive body, make him mine. I would be able to feel him, actually touch him. I would embody his desperate cries, like prayers on Sunday, the repercussion of the sing-song lessons throughout the church, and carve them into my soul. I would mark him, own him. For I already did. I would take him. Love him. Redeem him. Love him more./p
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"And then I would kill him, and leave him. For I loved him. And I died him. Radiantly in the insetting morning dew, vibrant and faint. I was waiting, I would strike when the moment and the time was right. It was all I needed. The right moment and the right time. It was all a killer needed. It was all I needed./p
p style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium;"And I watched./p