Sasuke's Way of Showing True Love
Once upon a fabulous time (more likely a few weeks ago), there was an epic battle. Yes, so epic that even Chuck Norris couldn't compare to it. But the battle failed in a way. Most likely because it determined the direction of many things, such as pairings, lives, and mental health. Be aware that this may lead you to go emo in a corner after reading.
So our heroes were in an epic battle. All fending for themselves. There was Danzo, the old queer that hypnotized everyone into making him Hokage, because he felt so damn awesome that he wanted to be Hokage, so he took the opportunity after the council agreed to make Kakashi Hokage. But Danzo took the spotlight (er, role of an attention whore) and said "NO! I WANT TO BE HOKAGE. FEAR ME AND MY POWERS." So the council members looked at one another, and nodded. So he became Hokage, though Kakashi deserved the title more.
Then, we had the fantastic Sasuke Uchiha. Every girl to grace the earth wanted in his pants. They did everything they could: To stealing his sweaty clothes, to knocking their other team mates out to try and rape him while he was asleep, or other scary things that will probably give you nightmares at night. Unless you're Pedo-Bear. Then that would be ok. The Uchiha has emo looking hair, and an angst filled past, therefore, that made him emo. And gay.
Last but most definitely least, Karin. She was so in love with Sasuke she would do anything. Which ranges from Sasuke ordering her around like a dog to willingly try to restore his clan with him; funny thing was, he never wanted her to. That's strange.
So our story begins now. Not too late to turn back - not that you'd wanna miss this sexy action about to happen.
Danzo and Sasuke were engaged in battle, using their (sexual) energy to give it all they got to kill one another. The battle dragged on and on while Karin was in the side lines watching the scene while painting her nails a bright cherry red.
Sasuke ran at Danzo with full force with his bright, bird chirping chidori. Though it sounded attractive, it was not. Danzo just stepped aside a foot and Sasuke zoomed straight past him. "You need some glasses son." He said.
"I'm almost blind! What kind of aim do you think I have?" Sasuke shot back. Then, all of a shocking sudden, Danzo grabbed Karin and held her against him like a shield, like any pathetic sap would do.
"S-Sasuke….help." Karin pleaded.
"Come on man. I thought you could do better than dat!" Sasuke said in a slightly ghetto voice. Danzo gave him a cheesy, wrinkly smile after that.
"Ya know-" Danzo began. But he had no time to finish, for Sasuke just shot the two in front of him a look of crazy excitement. Not the Christmas Day kind of excited, but the getting Call of Duty 2 kind of excited.
Within seconds, a lightening blade pierced the two unfortunate (but most failish characters in the series) shinobi right through their flat chests. Blood spewed here and there, this away and that away……okay, you know what I mean. Sasuke still had that excited look on his face you could just tell that this was the most happiest moment of his emo life.
"How could you foil my plan so easily!?" Danzo asked unaware that he was incapable of doing anything right for once in his life. Totally ignoring what Danzo said, Karin had a look of dismay on her face. She had her mouth open, long enough to inhale a by standing fly.
"Sasuke……I thought you loved me……..me…you….the smoked sausage we left in the fridge….what is it to you?" Karin asked.
"Karin…you knew that once you were taken hostage, you looked so damn hopeless it could make all readers on this planet face palm. If something wasn't done to end this terrible thing, who knows what could happen?" Sasuke replied with a cold stare.
"B-but! US!!" Karin screamed.
"Tough shit." Sasuke backfired. Not many seconds passed by until Danzo was miraculously still alive, along with Karin. Except he knocked her to the side to die. There is more to this horrific story, but that's another walk in the park.
So. No one lived happily ever after.
The End. 333
A/N: Hopefully it wasn't that bad. And didn't offend any SasuKarin fans too much. Or Karin fans for the other matter. And…does anyone like Danzo? Reviews wouldn't hurt. Flames are welcome. :3