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3rd of Second Seed, 4E 183
Vignar and I were passing through the wilds of the Reach, heading East toward home after a successful—and lucrative—job out near the mining towns around Markarth when we discovered a feral child hiding in a thicket like a fawn.
A little girl, naked a babe and not much more than one—she cannot be more than three or four years old. Starved nearly to bones, she was, but that didn't make her easy to catch! Vignar and I looked like clumsy fools, blundering into one another and tripping over our own boots trying to grab the wild little creature, who was running on all fours and snarling and spitting at us like a sabre cat cub. When we finally did manage to grab her, she thrashed and chomped like a slaughterfish. I held her down while Vignar wrapped a blanket around her and we trussed her up in it with rope.
Then, while she lay bound, thrashing and howling on the ground, Vignar and I—both of us no longer young—sat trying to catch our breath and wondered what in Oblivion we were supposed to do with her now that we had her!
She is a Nord child, this one. Not a native's child. Pale skin, thick of bone. Large golden eyes, so huge in that starved face of hers. Her hair is matted into little balls on her head.
Vignar and washed our bite wounds and after a brief discussion we decided to set up camp and carry the child to Markarth in the morning, though I have grave doubts that there would be a home and family waiting for her return.
6th of Second Seed, 4E 183
A few days have passed since we found the feral child, and I was proven right. Neither the people of Markarth nor those of nearby steads and mining towns knew anything about the child, and most after taking one look at her, glowering and snarling from within her blanket, wanted nothing to do with her. With the Foresworn and the bandits and the wilderness itself, tragedies happen every day, the people of the Reach told us. She might have been a child of passing trader or a caravan, or a survivor from a Foresworn attack on one of the farms, or simply just abandoned by relatives who couldn't feed her.
I had had small hopes of finding anyone who knew the child. Vignar had the good idea of taking the child to the Hag's Cure in Markarth, where Bothela dosed the child with a potion that made the little one calm and drowsy. The old woman is the only person we've met so far who is sympathetic to the child. While the little one was subdued by the potion, Bothela gave her a bath and, as the matted hair was beyond saving, shaved her head down to the skin.
For the first time, I was able to feed the child properly as well, as it was easier to spoon broth into her mouth without worrying about her trying to bite me.
Bothela gave me a small bottle of the potion she used to gentle down the child, with very firm instructions to only put two drops in a broth and have her drink it only twice a day. "You don't want to poison her or burn away what little mind she has," the old woman warned me.
I will be careful to heed her words. For now it is enough that the child's struggles have ceased and her ferocity has eased. I no longer have to carry her tied up in a blanket under my arm like a sack of flour. Now she'll follow me when I lead her by hand. We have made a crude harness, which we've fitted around her chest and torso to keep her from taking off the little tunic Bothela gave to us to clothe her. She seems to hate the feeling of the cloth on her skin, and we sometimes catch her gnawing on the fabric when she thinks we aren't looking.
While I was feeding her this night, I noticed that the stubble growing on her head and the fine hair on her arms and legs are reddish-brown. Like the pelt of a fox.
20th of Mid Year, 4E 183
This feral child has taking a liking to me, likely because she eats well, and all that she eats comes from my hand. Or is there a chance that I remind her of someone she knew before she was lost or abandoned in the wilds? She has grown to trust Vignar enough to feel safe with him, though she does not show the same eagerness when he comes near as when I do. She is still fearful around others, and will react violently unless she has had some of Bothela's potion.
3rd of Sun's Height 4E, 183
I must write of my dream.
Vignar has been hinting in his unsubtle way that we have lingered too long in Markarth. I understand; we are spending a good portion of the gold we made on our last job in room and board at the Silverblood Inn. His grumblings have been kept to a minimum and his hands have been gentle when helping to deal with the feral child, signs of how much his heart has gone out to the unfortunate little one, but he doesn't have much good will toward Markarth and I know he's eager to return home.
Yet the question of what to do with the child is unanswered.
Last night, Vignar stayed up late telling his tales to a rapt audience of mine workers by the inn's fires, and I readied the child and myself for bed in our room. She has taken to sleeping curled up next to me on the stone bed, and although I've feared I might roll on her or knock her off, I've been reluctant to discourage her because her growing trust in me is still so fragile.
The dreams that took hold once I had fallen asleep were full of exploding fire, splintering ice, cries and screams, and the rage of battle.
A woman was at the center of it. A Nord woman who scythed through foes like grass. In all my years as a warrior and with the Companions, I had never seen a warrior her equal. What she may have lacked in bodily strength by being a woman she made up for in sheer speed and agility, and even so she wielded a great battleaxe as though it weighed no more than a simple wooden quarterstaff. No movement she made was wasted, every step, every strike, every block, every counter was a follow-through from the move before. There was a grace in her strength, a beauty in her movement that made her seem to be dancing here, in the midst of furious combat.
The waves of enemies either fell before her might or fled in terror of what happened to those who came before them. At last this woman turned to me, grume dripping from the blades of her axe. She removed her helm and I saw her eyes were vibrant gold, and her long, wild hair was reddish-brown, like the pelt of a fox.
When I awoke, the child still slept peacefully, unaware of my dreams. Yet, shortly after I got up to pen down my dream, the child untangled herself from the blankets where I'd wrapped her and came to me where I sat with my book and pen. The medicine makes her drowsy and wobbly on her feet, but she climbed determinedly into my lap, seeking warmth and comfort.
I feel the weight of her in my lap, see her staring with sleepy eyes as I scratch my pen across the pages. I am not a poet. My heart is filled with an emotion that I have no words to describe.
Years ago, one of our own, Jergen brought two boys back to Jorrvaskr and raised them as his own until he left to fight in the Great War. As I sit here, I contemplate doing the same now, with this child I have found. Vilkas and Farkas were very young when Jergen left, and Tilma and I assumed the responsibilities of raising and guiding the boys. But they were Jergen's sons, and through time and distance and fiery heart, they have always carried something of their father with them. Though I hope that if I decide to do as Jergen, I would live to raise this child to adulthood myself.
My dream. Am I to believe that it portends that this child—this tiny, boney, bald child who bites people and does not know how to use a chamber pot or wipe the snot from her nose—is to someday become that blazing warrior I saw deep in the mists of my slumber? Or were they fancies spun in my mind to give me the excuse I need just as I'm faced with a achingly difficult decision?
…No. I know in my heart there is no doubt that my vision reflects a great truth.
I am glad that my heart is resolved, because of all the questions I might have, there is one truth I know for certain.
Skyrim is not kind to orphans, and will be especially cruel to this one. If do not take this child with me, I would be forced to take her to Understone Keep and place her with the Jarl's steward. She is too wild for me to believe in the likelihood that those to whom she is given will use gentle patience and foster her trust rather than use frequent beatings to civilize her and teach her obedience. There will be joyless years spent in an orphanage, or she might be taken in by a farm or a household to spend her youth mucking stables or working as a kitchen drudge.
The child has fallen asleep as I've written these pages, her little bald head on my shoulder. My insides twist in dread at the thought of leaving Markarth without her. My heart swells at the thought of leaving Markarth in the morning with her riding on my shoulder.
The only question that needs to be asked, is do I have love for this child in my heart, having known her for only a short time? The answer is, I do.
4th of Sun's Height, 4E 183
Vignar and I are preparing to leave. I told him of my decision to take the little one with us. My old friend is strong in his opinions and unafraid to voice them, but as I told him this he only nodded and held his peace. I've never seen a man looked both resigned and relieved at the same time. I am not certain which surprises me more, that it seems Vignar knew what I would do before I knew myself, or how clear it is that he did not want to abandon the child at the Keep either.
We will set out as soon as Vignar returns from the general store with some traveling clothes for the child and a pair of shoes, assuming we can convince her to wear them.
I have picked a name for my daughter. It is an ancient Atmoran name I saw recorded in a book once, a name that seems right for this child because it means "dreams" or "visions". I name my child—
"Aeyslinn!"
Startled, the young woman jumped, nearly dropping the small, leather-bound journal she was holding. Guiltily, she looked at Kodlak, who stood in the doorway of their quarters with his arms crossed over his chest. He fixed her with a stern eye for a moment before holding his hand out for the book.
Aeyslinn handed it over. She was a cool-headed girl for the most part, and the only sign of shame for having been caught reading his private writings was a slight flushing of her cheeks. "I'm sorry, Papa. I was only looking for where I've mislaid my greater Soul Gems, and I found this book I didn't recognize. I didn't realize at first that it was a journal."
Kodlak raised an eyebrow. "And yet after you did realize it was a journal, you felt the need to read several of the pages."
Her mouth twitched in an attempt to smile, but she couldn't quite manage it. Kodlak tossed the old journal on his bed, and pulled his daughter into his arms for a hug. "I'm not angry, my girl. Those who don't want their thoughts known shouldn't be foolish enough to write them down. Or foolish enough to toss the book carelessly under their bed after writing in it last night instead of locking it back in the drawer of their side-table as I did. And you are not recovered and should be in bed, not looking for Soul Gems."
She rested her head on his shoulder. "I'm fine, Papa."
He kissed the top of her head and gently steered her toward her bed.
Aeyslinn had always lived with Kodlak in the Harbinger's quarters, ever since he first brought her to Jorrvaskr. His quarters were not spacious, consisting only of a study and a bedroom, but he had removed the small table and chair that had been in the upper left corner of the bedroom and crammed in a small bed, wardrobe, and chest for his child's clothing and possessions. As she had grown a little and learned to talk, he added another desk in the study for her, where in the evenings after supper he taught her to read and write and do sums and later, once these basics were mastered, lessons in history and lore. When she had passed her trial at around fifteen summers old, he had suggested she might enjoy the freedom of staying in the living quarters with the other Companions instead of in here with her old man. It was an offer he had made with a heavy heart; though he knew she was only moving down the hall, he believed that this would be the time when he had to let go after keeping and protecting her for so long, and it would be the end of so many of the rituals the two of them had developed as a family. No more kisses hello and good night, no more after-supper lessons, no more nighttime stories. Yet, to his complete shock, she had become slightly upset by the suggestion. Aeyslinn was mild and reserved in the way she showed her emotions, so for her to become upset at all was enough to make him withdraw the idea.
When she was inducted into the Circle a couple of years later he had warily made a slightly different offer of setting her up in her own private quarters such as other members of the Circle enjoyed. A little more matured since the last time, she had only glanced up from where she was reading at her desk and said, "No, I'll stay with you, Pa," and went back to her book.
And that had been the end of it. Now, at somewhere around nineteen years of age (as near as Kodlak could guess, having no way of knowing exactly when she was born), she was still content to continue living with her father.
Kodlak found himself to be content with the arrangement too, and tried not to worry about his daughter's deviation from the normal behavior of youth. The fact was that even though Aeyslinn no longer had the memory of living in the wilds, that time had left its mark on her. In subtle ways, perhaps, but the mark was there.
The Harbinger settled her into bed and pulled the blankets up around her. "Danica said two weeks of bed rest."
Aeyslinn sank into the pillow, but fixed her father with a stern expression of her own. "Pa, this is becoming borderline imprisonment."
"Nonsense, Little Fox."
"You had Farkas and Aela take away all of my clothes, my boots, and my weapons," Aeyslinn pointed out, her gold eyes darkening reproachfully.
Kodlak rubbed his chin to hide a smile. He had indeed had Aela and Farkas come in quietly while Aeyslinn had slept in fever and remove her footwear and gear, leaving her with nothing to wear but a couple of warm cotton nightgowns. He had to admit to himself it might have been an extreme measure, but it could be quite a trial to keep Aeyslinn here when she had a mind to leave, and she wasn't likely to go far unarmed, barefoot, and clad only in her sleepwear.
"I also know you have everyone watching me like hawks," she added.
Kodlak nodded, completely unrepentant. In truth, he hadn't even needed to give the word. The Companions, many of whom had been here to watch Aeyslinn grow up, knew her ways and had set themselves up as sentries, pretending to go about their daily routines but in truth watching to make certain their wild child didn't try anything clever. Kodlak had even noticed that all of the money pouches that sometimes lay around untouched in the hall of the living quarters had quietly vanished. The Companions, who did well in their vocation as mercenaries, normally didn't mind sharing amongst themselves, but at present there was the danger that Aeyslinn might find a gap in their vigil and slip out with a couple of those purses and purchase clothing and a sword or a dagger off Belethor or Adrianne Avenicci on her way out of the city.
"You're not leaving the mead hall, and that's final," said Kodlak in that deceptively mild tone that always made his daughter sit still and pay attention. "You will rest until Danica deems you are well."
"I was only poisoned, Papa, and it's run its course."
"What did I just say?" he asked in a slightly sharper tone.
Her shoulder slumped and she sighed. "You said I will rest until Danica deems I am well."
Kodlak nodded sternly, but had trouble keeping himself from laughing when she said, with a slight quirk at the corner of her lips that showed this was a jest rather than an actual lamentation, "As a Companion, I am unfortunate in that while there are no leaders among us, a young woman must obey her father."
He smoothed her long, auburn hair. "Listen, Danica and Arcadia said this was an especially sinister poison within you, and that the effects would come and go. I know you feel fine now, but she assured us that the weakness and the pain will return. You must stay here until she tells us that it truly has run its course. Think for a moment. A crew of bandits waiting at an ambush on the road would ordinarily be nothing to you, but what are your chances if they attack at a time when the fevers are on you again?"
She was silent for a moment, her eyes locked with his. Then she said, "I grow bored lying in this bed all day. If you won't let me up, then can you at least help me keep my mind occupied?"
That reminded Kodlak of something. "Why were you looking for Soul Gems? There was not a single chance I was going to allow you to climb the steps of Dragonsreach to use the arcane enchanter."
Again, there was the slight flush on her cheeks, and she cleared her throat softly before answering. "I, ah…I was going to use them as skittles. I made a ball out of a cloth and a raven's skull, and I was going to pitch it at the Soul Gems to see how skillfully I could knock them over."
This time Kodlak did laugh. "You are bored, aren't you? I will send someone out to see if there are any new books to be had in town. And see if some of this drunken rabble can't pry themselves away from their mead to visit you more often. I'll haul a bard in here to sing and tell you stories if I have to. Just please stay in bed, Aeyslinn. Must I make you promise?"
Aeyslinn agreed at last. "I'll rest, Papa."
"You'll stay in that bed," he pressed. Too often in the past Aeyslinn would find a gap in his instructions and then later protest that she hadn't actually disobeyed. To promise that she would "rest" could mean to rest anywhere. Like an inn in the next Hold.
The corner of her mouth twitched again in another almost-smile. "Yes, Papa."
Kodlak ruffled her hair in approval. He did not add that he had every intention of keeping her within the walls of Jorrvaskr even after she was well, until they found out who had tried to kill her.