Title: Fresh Meat

Disclaimer: Owned by the Mouse!
Rating: PG, Gen, Humor.
Summary: Jack and Elizabeth talk about issues of great importance. And by issues of great importance, I mean, of course, James. :P

"Elizabeth, if I wasn't so busy hunting down that chest and running a-flail from terrible beastie, I would make it my business to take on a worthy protégé."

"Thank you for the offer, but I don't particularly think I have much to learn from you."

"Wasn't talking about about you, love."

"...James!"

"Do you object?"

"Captain Sparrow, that may just about be the stupidest thought you've ever voiced."

"You have no imagination. He's practically pirate."

"He is still a lawful man! Just down on his luck."

"Were you or were you not with us in Tortuga?"

"Well... like I said before: Rum can turn even the most respectable of men into complete scoundrels."

"Aha! So you do admit that the man is a scoundrel."

"I admit to no such thing. He is years behind you in that department."

"Well, that's true enough. Though I must say, he's already got a very promising swagger, except... eh, needs a bit more hip in the swing. Give me a few more years and then no problem."

"You're not serious!"

"I'm always serious, love. Who better to teach him than me?"

"Jack. The man tried to shoot you and now you want to show him how to be.. well, YOU! How on earth do you think he'd ever agree to it?"

"I can be very persuasive."

"Right, and seeing as how he has nothing but contempt for you?"

"Nonsense. Then why join my crew?"

"Nowhere else to go."

"Plenty of places to go. But nowhere nearly as fun. Trust me on this, Elizabeth, the commodore's life would not be half as interesting if I weren't around. And he knows this. Perhaps... on some very hidden level, but knows this he does nonetheless."

"Oh please. Your vanity will be your downfall, Jack Sparrow."

"Not when your 'vanity' is my 'truth'. Shoulda had a go at him when you still had the chance, love. William's too honest."

"I am not looking to marry scoundrels!"

"Oh, so who's a scoundrel, then?"

"You... he... ARGH."

"More guttural, now. Arrrrrr."

"Well! If it was a choice between him and you, I'd take him in a second."

"You've hurt my feelings. But I know what attracts you to him. He reminds you of me. Just a little bit."

"He does not! If anything he is the polar opposite of you."

"Flip-side of the same coin, yes, I agree."

"Is there no end to your delusions."

"Ah-ah! Delusions oftentimes turn out to be real. Now if you'll excuse me, I must converse with my new pupil."

-end-