WARNING! MAJOR SPOILER FOR GOD EATER 2! YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!
Fault
It was his fault. There would be nothing else to blame and there shouldn't be, simply because it was true. He was the only one who could be blamed for Romeo's demise. He was the one who let him ran to help some old folks by the area and he was the one who tried to protect him while he did so, yet he failed to do so miserably.
Julius Visconti was a failure of a captain, moreover as a special unit one.
Although he didn't let it get the best of him, it was already decided even before his superior ordered him to do so… He already decided it: He was not fit to be a captain, not anymore. He had let his vice-captain, who would be the next captain, informed about this.
It was a dark night, yet the moving fortress Friar was still making its trail enigmatically all over the horizon and it would arrive to the Far East Branch soon. It was the most perfect time to make his silent departure to do something else that he could, to help Doctor Rachel on her experiment to strengthen the God Arc Soldier. At first, Julius was very much against the idea of distributing the machine to the public freely, but after recent things, he was starting to see the idea in a different light. They could prevent Aragami from taking more human lives, and there was literally nothing wrong with that.
He didn't pack too much, only a small bag that consists of general surviving items. After all, he was not going on a picnic, he was going on another adventure for the rise of humanity, only in alternative path. Giving a faint smile at his room for a bit, he then made his way out of the room to the bridge, to get on the Friar…
…Only to spot a familiar figure waiting for him.
"…Ciel? What are you doing here at this hour?"
She stood there, leaning against the wall with her arms connecting against each other on her back. Her teal eyes looked least energetic of all, very out of character of Ciel, and they were staring intently at the floor.
"…Captain," although she was asking him, it was as if she was only muttering to herself. She didn't even look at him. "Are you really going?"
And merely from that, Julius could already tell everything. She was probably trying to stop him.
"I am, Ciel," he countered calmly. "And as of today, I am your captain no more."
Ciel didn't respond. Either she didn't, or she couldn't. Hence, Julius continued his words.
"Don't worry, he can do it. You know how he is yourself, correct?"
Julius was correct. That new guy had amazing growth spurt. At first, he seemed to be way more off than Romeo, or even Nana. But after he had awakened his Blood Arts (which was on his earlier mission), his talent in slaying those so-called-gods was showing. He was a genius, and a strong one as the icing on the cake. He deserved the spot as the captain, even Ciel had to admit all of that.
Yet…
"He is positively extravagant from many aspects, indeed. But he's-" her arms weakly moved to her side, with her left one slowly moved to hold her right forearm, as if she was wounded physically. "-not you, Captain Julius. He is not you."
It was blunt. A straightforward yet indirect confession from the mostly-expressionless Ciel Alencon. Furthermore, it was not a simple confession. It was a confession of loyalty, or love, even. Julius looked taken aback for a moment before he went into a pause, as his eyes gave the glint of sadness.
"…Ciel…"
"You will forever be a captain to me, captain. Or at least you'll be forever that I will look up to."
His bodyguard's words were deep. It even touched the deepest part of his heart. Yet Julius' expression did not change much, he stayed stern and cool.
"That is enough, Ciel," he once again stated, a little commanding. "I have to do what I have to do."
The change in his tone was more than enough to make Ciel shake in mixture of fear and shock. It was the rare tone of Julius, for he had always presented himself as a good-natured and kind captain. That angry tone was probably the tone that only she had ever heard. This as the first one, and the last one would probably after he was done ranting at her.
Her gesture mirrored her expression. She was shaking, trembling even. She tried to keep her composure intact, but it was already half-failing. The silver haired girl could only hold the hem of her skirt tight, holding at it like it was the only one thing in the world that would stop her from crying. She opened her mouth to respond at him with her usual tone, but the words that came out of it were only desperate pleas.
"…Not… even if I beg…?"
Julius, who could read her expression clearly, stared at her closely until she finished her words, before he promptly closed them in regret. He didn't want to make her cry, but this was the least violent way to get her to stop running after him, who was only a shadow of an imperfect captain.
"Not even if you beg."
It was a nail to the coffin. Ciel understood that perfectly. His answer was absolute. He was not backing down. She was the losing side of this argument. She could only freeze on her spot as he slowly walked past her.
Yet, she was giving one last attempt to stop him. She was way past desperate to let him to allow her to stay by his side.
Just before he could walk past her completely, Julius could feel something tugging his sleeve. It surprised him slightly, and when he turned his head to see what that was, it was Ciel's hand. But what surprised him the most was her face. There was the painful sight of her eyes swelling with waterfall just in front of him.
That soon turned Julius' surprise to a guilt. She had never cried in front of him, this was the first time. And he was the one that made her cry.
"…Captain… Julius…" she begged, trying her best to contain her tears. "…Please… don't go…."
How he hated himself for this. How he hated himself for everything.
Because of his incompetence, Romeo was dead. Because of his incompetence, Ciel was crying. Because of his incompetence, everything was wrong. Things that weren't supposed to happen happened.
Yet he didn't budge. He wouldn't go back at his words. He couldn't anymore.
Ciel's eyes went wide in shock when she felt Julius' warm hand connected to hers, and he slowly removed her grip on his sleeve. After it was done with that, his hand slowly snaked its way to her chin, caressing it passionately. His eyes stared at her shocked one, but Julius' were way too unreadable.
"Your love for me…" he whispered. "…is misplaced, Ciel."
Ciel's world instantly broke apart with that sentence. All the idea and strength to stop Julius had gone immediately from her. Her voluptuous body gradually fell limp, her slender arms fell to her side loosely, her beautiful mouth hung open without response, and her shiny eyes had instantly lost their radiances. Her eyes were now empty with the trauma that would scar her heart forever.
As her knees went weak and she fell on her knees with no further sign of having anymore purpose in her life, Julius slowly pulled his arm back as he stared at his bodyguard's figure crumbling in process.
"If only we were born in different circumstances… In a different life…" he mumbled again, this time to himself in particular, considering she didn't seem to be able to process anything at the moment. "…Maybe… We could, Ciel…"
With that, leaving the breaking Ciel to cry for the rest of night, Julius rotated around and continued his beeline to the elevator. He had done the damage and there was no way that he deserved to show himself in front of her anymore.
Unbeknownst to himself, he, too, had shed a single tear of regret. This was probably the second biggest thing that he regretted in his life, after what had happened yesterday. If not equally big.
Julius' presence had netted once-innocent people to his so-called-elite-group. His presence had killed Romeo. His presence had destroyed Ciel's world. In the end, it was more than obvious.
Everything was his fault.
Julius and Ciel are the saving grace of God Eater 2. That is all.