Disclaimer: I don't own Enterprise. It would be a lot sillier in some places and femslashier in others if I did.

"I said polarize the hull plating!" Archer shouted over the din of the Xindi fire hitting Enterprise.

"Hull plating is still offline!" Reed yelled back.

"Well, fix it! We're getting creamed, here!"

"Diverting power from the lights." The lights promptly flickered out.

"Hull plating at 60 percent, it's all I can give you."

"Good thinking, cutting the lights!" Trip exclaimed, voice dripping with sarcasm. "I can see what I'm doing with this extremely complicated wiring by the light of random explosions alone!"

Comm lines were abuzz all over the ship with damage reports, security chatter, and confused people crashing into the panels situated throughout the ship.

"Reactor overload imminent! No, wait a second, disregard that, this damn thing's upside down!"

"Who turned off all the lights, anyway?"

"Jong, you idiot! Put that out! Now!"

"Belay that, it's gonna blow!"

"Hull breaches on decks C and D sections 17-20!"

"Correction: sections 16-20! I just had three security people fly out into space! Pay attention!"

"We're all gonna die! Let's at least take some of 'em down with us!"

The comm lines could take care of themselves, and Hoshi felt rather foolish just sitting there trying to keep a grip on her console. As so many people seemed to be doing, she shouted the first thing that came to her mind. "T'Pol, will you marry me?" It was mostly swallowed in the roar of the battle.

"What?" Reed bellowed over a particularly loud boom, which half-deafened the entire bridge crew. Sparks flew out of Hoshi's console and she hit the floor.

"I said, er... they're NOT hailing us! I'm going to be irrelevant any minute!"

"Funny, it sounded like you asked to be carried to sickbay! And what's this nonsense about tomatoes?"

"I'm sorry, sir!" Travis responded. "I didn't mean to crash the shuttle that time, but don't you think it's irrelevant by now?"

"No," Archer barked. "Are you out of your mind? You can't have a bathroom break, just fly the fucking ship!"

"Nobody's fucking me!" Trip snapped. "I'm trying to get the engines up and running again!" There was a groan of tortured metal as a small piece of the saucer section sheared off.

"Ensign Sato!" T'Pol shouted, seemingly in reply to Trip's indignation. "If we survive this, I swear I will marry you!"

Now that, Hoshi heard perfectly.