I woke up thinking about this 2-possibly 3-shot.

2114

Washington DC

She sat sideways on the seat in front of the big bay window looking over the capitol and most of DC. Her bare legs stretched in front of her but bent at the knees. Her head leaned against the glass. She hummed as the sun clung to her skin. One arm rose above her head and she stopped to purr in pure enjoyment.

Caroline milked every single drop of these moments. It was rare when she let herself indulge. Her mind free flowed. She lost herself in the blue and the red. The blue that froze her in a place and time where she had never gone back to, that lingered in her mind and thoughts. The red unleashed her; it had freed her, giving her true warmth. It was like the sun that both threatened to warm her with her ring on and burn her without it.

She closed her eyes as goose bumps grew on her skin and embraced the feeling. Those ruby red lips at her ankle kissing a trail up her leg leaving wet stepping stones on their path. At the knee they place an open mouthed stamp and her whole body shakes. A tongue slips out between them to trailblazing up the sensitive skin of her thighs on its way to the land where it was all promised for her. When it reaches she moans against the shattering her release brings her. It's almost painful and devastating. She feels him lift from her core mostly because she's been expecting it. His blue-green eyes full of love and yearning on hers. This is the moment she craves the most; he revels in her scent and breathes her whole name.

Every letter

Every vowel

Every syllable

"Care"

She frowned before her eyes flew open. Stefan was looming over her. A smile played at his lips.

"I guess I should have rushed home." His eyes traveled from hers to the hand between her thighs.

Her skin turned crimson; she removed her hand and averted her eyes.

"Sorry, spur of the moment." She lied.

"I'm here for round two." He offered seductively.

"I need to get ready. Dinner with the president is not an everyday thing. I have to do my hair. Too much. You're not getting on the way of that, mister!" She said extra cheerfully.

Stefan frowned. "You're not keeping the curls? You spent so much time getting "exactly right". You should keep them. I love them and you never wear them down anymore." He reached out to grab one.

She intercepted his hand and squeezed it. "It's not appropriate for such an event. Going to get ready." She leaned and kissed him briefly before quickly rushing to the bathroom.

She knew he won't follow her. They were best friends before becoming a couple. They knew when to give each other space. What she loved about him the most is how respectful he was of her, her boundaries, her wishes.

It is also what made her tears fall as soon as the door closed. It always did. She turned on the shower at full blast and practically ripped the baby-t and panties she was wearing. She stepped into the shower stall and stared at the spraying water, hesitantly, almost fearful of confronting it. But guilt, as it always did, flooded her and she jumped and she stepped under it while her fingers almost violently attacked and killed the spiral waves on her tresses. Her lips pressed together to prevent her from making sound.

She got careless. She did not hear Stefan come back and her embarrassment had more to do with the image she conjured than with being caught pleasuring herself, which she had not even realized she was doing.

No, be honest Caroline.

She woke up with the need to curl her hair which she had only had done once before in the past 100 years. She dried it immediately after showering never letting it go to its natural state. She banned the curls like she banned her inner voice, her inner desires. This morning her filters vanished along with somnolence and she was grateful when Stefan announced he had to go out as she walked out of the bathroom when she was done with her hair. He smiled and commented on how beautiful it looked. Normally that would have been a dagger in her heart but she couldn't wait to be away from him. She wanted time alone with herself, with her curls.

She stood in front of the mirror for an hour running her hands through it. She let the tresses slip through her fingers. She pressed her fingers on her scalp until she moaned with pleasure from it.

Now she sobbed into her hands because in the living room was a great guy, one that she loved purely and cherished as if he were a limb of her body.

But in her mind was the bad one.

The one she could not forget.

2065

Mystic Falls, Virginia

Her mother was slipping away. Caroline heard the decreasing heartbeat and watched the laboring chest, while fighting herself. All she wanted was to reach for her and force her bleeding wrist into Liz' mouth. A small noise of impotence escaped her lips. As if intuiting her daughter's thoughts and frustration, Liz smiled.

"What?" Caroline whispered trying not to cry.

"My little control freak. I'm so sorry." Her mother answered.

"Why?"

"Because I'm doing the worst thing that anyone can do to you. I'm rendering you helpless." Her mother smiled wistfully.

"Mom…"

Her words were interrupted by Stefan who came in with some water for her medicine.

"Thank you." The dying woman whispered. Then she reached for his hand. "I'm glad you're here. I love you. I want you to promise me that you'll never be away from her for too long. You two have to watch out for each other."

He kissed her head giving her the promise she sought. Then he excused himself and left to give them privacy.

"I love him so much. I was so happy the day you announced you were together."

Her voice startled Caroline. She had been sitting there staring at her mom, memorizing every detail to keep in her heart and mind for eternity.

"Stefan's a good guy. He's perfect for you…"

Caroline nodded and opened her mouth to agree but her mother stopped her with her hand on top of hers.

"But the heart wants what it wants, Caroline. It doesn't care how suitable someone is on paper or how pure their heart is. While it may beat for that person, it will never pound. It will never flutter. It will never falter."

Caroline looked away but Liz tugged at her hand bring her gaze back.

"He's a small town boy. He would be happy to settle in one spot forever, make a home anywhere. You're not like that, my love. You're like a hummingbird, jumping from flower to flower, happily soaring in the air. You have a hunger Caroline that he'll never know how to fill. You're not meant for the ground."

Caroline's eyes burnt and the lump on her throat was so massive she could barely breathe.

Liz was drifting off to sleep again but before, she whispered.

"You're the absolute love of my life, Caroline. Promise me one day, you'll embrace yourself as you are. You'll let yourself soar."

Liz died the next day and buried two days later. She left a package for her daughter to open after she died.

In it Caroline found a small box with her grandmother's diamond earrings. Her mom's service weapon and hat and other family items she would treasure and store safely.

On the bottom there was a big scrapbook. An envelope fell into her lap but Caroline was curious about the scrapbook and wanted to see that first.

When she opened it, her mother's cop face stared at her. It was the no nonsense, business face that all perps saw before being arrested. It was a beautiful sketch that made her gasp because she recognized even the stroke of his brush. Her heart began to pound. On the bottom, in Liz' hand writing, was penned the date: April 2015. As she passed the pages, she found more sketches. The first four were dated every 10 years. The last one was dated from a month ago. Liz sat outside in the backyard. She was in her rocking chair looking over her petunias with a smile.

Caroline abruptly closed the book as her breath began gushing out of her lungs. She put it back in the box with everything else but the earrings and closed it.

When she got up from the chair, the envelope fell from her lap. She picked it up. It was addressed to her. She opened it and pulled out a piece of paper with two sentences.

I too have communed with the devil. I understand now.

Caroline's heart faltered.

Back to present day

As she applied her make-up, she thought of her last days with her mom. She kept everything stored for a long time. She was angry at Liz for a while. Liz left her and Caroline yearned to hold her mother in her arms. She also blamed the empty feeling on her words. She lived a content life until those days. She was able to mostly ignore her thoughts of Klaus and lock away his memories most of the time.

Now for 50 years she agonized in silence. She didn't want to hurt Stefan. To her endless shame looking forward to the times they hung out with Damon and Elena and his attention would divert from her.

She loved him dearly. She did. He loved her. She knew it. He was her constant. He was what kept her leveled and honest.

And she held on to that for dear life.

Letting what she used to be stronger than her desire.

Probably the douchiest song in the world "El Malo" by Aventura has inspired this. The song is dedicated from a man to his ex. He is singing about her being with this good guy who loves and is there for her but she can't forget the bad one that is lodged in her heart. The bad is the singer. It's douchy as hell in my opinion.

Then it gets all sad and angsty.

Anyway, I hope you enjoyed it.