Oliver vs Hart

Disclaimer: No, no and no, thank you.

(.Oliver 0 – Hart 1)

He knew that he deserved it, but still.

He hated it.

"Don't be a slow poke," Kim had scolded, hands perching on her slim waist. She had always been perky, but for some known reasons, there's an extra bounce in her steps today. "You can't deny the inevitable, Tommy."

Kim might have as well said that there's no way in hell that the mighty leader of the Power Rangers escaped this one.

She made a point though, or else, why would he be standing among the sea of colorful women's undergarments; patterned, floral, embroidered, lacy, nylon, even see-through lingerie? He felt like he was being suffocated.

Due to his new karate class schedules and Uncle John's last minute offer to see the Stone Canyon Night Race, he had canceled their last three dates. While she hadn't been all that happy on the first two occasions, it had been beyond his control. She had been a tad bit upset, but he still got a good luck kiss. However, he had literally ditched her for a free ticket with the best seat location (and a backstage pass and two bottles of beer his uncle had smuggled in for him).

It was understandable if she's trying to get back at him.

As much as Tommy loved his girlfriend, he hated shopping. This special day would take the cake; lingerie shopping with Kimberly when she's being 'mentally unstable'. As if it hadn't been bad enough, Kim just had to inspect every one of the lingerie like she was trying to find a hidden diamond. Kim's quote of the day was undoubtedly 'shop till he drops'.

Some guys might enjoy the situation he was in, but seeing her modeling the sexy undergarments for him and seeing endless rows of them hanging from the racks were two entirely different things. His eyes were fixated on his shoes in an attempt to avoid catching accusing and teasing looks the passerby might (most likely not) give him.

They had been dating for almost one year and had shared occasional passionate kisses. She'd let him brush his hand across her breast once through her clothing but he wasn't prepared for this, at all.

"Pink or lavender?" He heard her ask and he focused his eyes on the small hole on his left Keds. Why would it matter anyway? Nobody but her would see it. Lacy or plain cotton, it's a bra. Later when they had passed second base he might think back and kick himself for being so stupid.

But that's still a long way to go.

"Do you think these will look good on me?"

He mumbled, not really lifting his eyes from the floor. She had been asking the same damn question for the past hour and he had been mumbling the same incoherent reply. It had been working, up till now.

"Sorry, but I'm not speaking alien language." Kim retorted dryly.

"You'd look great in anything." He muttered, starting to feel nauseated by the strong scent of potpourri.

"Tommy," Her voice was surprisingly calm, but it was not possible to miss the edge of menace lacing her voice. "Eyes up."

Bracing himself, he glanced up and was immediately greeted by a sight of the palest pink bra with lace and ribbon trims. Tommy stared for approximately ten full seconds before averted his gaze to her beaming face. Kim was wearing a tight white tank top and shorts and he had to gather up all his might not to let his imagination run wild.

"You like it?"

"They, they're alright." He stammered, accidentally kicking one of the shopping bags around his feet.

Kim smirked before putting them back on the rack and moving on to the next pursuit. Somehow seeing her satisfied smile evoked a certain reaction that he couldn't really explain. Before he could think it over, he blurted out, "Before you try them on, don't you have to get yourself measured and fitted properly?"

(.Oliver 1 – Hart 1)

She raised an eyebrow. "You're offering yourself to make sure I'm properly measured and fitted?"

Groaning inwardly, he casually grabbed one of Kim's shopping bags and put it on his lap to hide some inappropriate things that should remain unseen. "I'm just saying that up to 80% of women reportedly wear the wrong bra size. It sure wouldn't hurt to be cautious."

Now she raised both eyebrows. "Do I even have to ask where did you get that information from?"

"It could lead to discomfort and even deformed spinal." He finished. What the fuck was he doing? He had heard of it somewhere. Was it Zack or did he hear it from Billy? Did Billy actually give him a bra lecture?

"Who would have thought that you're such an expert? Have had lots of experiences, Tommy?"

He could detect a small percent of jealousy in her tone and that was enough to boost his wounded male ego. The table had been turned. "Something like that."

(.Oliver 2 – Hart 1)

"You're enjoying this, aren't you?"

"As much as you are," He shrugged, pleased with himself. Alas, the moment was short lived. It's not until the words were spoken that he realized his slip. "I'd hate for you to buy something uncomfortable just for my viewing pleasure."

"Your viewing pleasure?" Kim didn't waste another second. "So you admit that all the pleading and begging outside Nordstrom were just an act?"

(.Oliver 2 – Hart 2)

He knew he was slow and dense sometimes, but not this stupid. "Kimberly…"

"Well, seeing you're so good about this," She went on, her eyes were shining with an unmistakable glint of the wrath of the Pink Ranger. "Can you tell me what my size is?"

His eyes automatically dropped below her chin just for a mere second before he looked away. Seriously, what the fuck did he get himself into? What should he say now? Girls were overly sensitive creatures and he certainly didn't want to tick Kim off when she had already pissed.

Kim was not the most endowed girl in school, but he had no complaints. Still, what could he say? He knew for a fact that some girls did overestimate their size sometimes to booster their self-esteem; what if Kim was one of those girls? Or what if she's not? Oh please, fuck me.

(.Oliver 2 – Hart 3)

"Tommy?"

"Kim, I really don't,"

"You started it, you have to finish it."

"I-,"

Beep beep beep beep beep beep.

Hallelujah, praise the Lord.

Kim scowled and turned away, paying attention to another set of panties instead. "This is Tommy,"

"Sorry to interrupt your pleasurable shopping trip," Billy began and Tommy had to roll his eyes at his gentle sarcasm. It was no secret that Kim was dragging him shopping. He was pretty convinced that Rocky and Aisha were busy laughing behind his back at the moment. "But I need you to teleport to the Command Center immediately. Zordon would like to have a word with you about his departure this weekend. There are some adjustments that have to be completed."

"I'll be there, Billy." He answered faster than he would've liked and he could feel Kim's piercing glare boring holes into his back.

"Saved by the bell."

"I gotta leave, but this surely was fun. I got to get up close with your feminine side," Bantering came easier now that he knew he wouldn't spend another minute in this department. It was creepily intimidating. "Funny how picking up underwear could be a life and death situation. For me, as long as it's decent and comfortable then it's wearable. I guess I'm just not as complicated as some people."

(.Oliver 3 – Hart 3)

Kim bit her lip. He was certain that if looks could kill, he would have already dead in slow gruesome death. "Just leave, Tommy."

He leaned down to give her peck on the lips and a lengthy hug. After staying still for a while, he felt her slender arms finally encircle his torso to return the gesture. She whispered over his ear, "I really appreciate your company. It almost felt like going with a girlfriend. Who knows maybe one day I'll take you with me again."

That's another way to say he'd better not stood her up again or another trip would definitely be set in the future.

(.Oliver 3 – Hart 4)

He squeezed her tighter. "I'll see you later."

Do it or not? Should he do it? After battling with his inner self for a short while, he finally decided to just go the hell with it and do it. Pressing her closer to him, he whispered back on her ear, thrilled when he felt her shiver when his lips grazed her lobe. "Be sure to get that sheer pink leopard push-up bra. You'd look absolutely alluring and beautiful."

He realized that he was digging his own graveyard, but he really couldn't care less.

(.Oliver 4 – Hart 4)

Kim definitely did not see that coming and she still hadn't found her voice when he released her and started to walk away. Some girls would be flattered but she knew better. Before he vanished behind the corner, he shouted loud enough to be heard by everyone in 5 meter radius and the section was pretty packed. "I think they also come with a matching sheer thong. See you tonight!"

And he was gone before she could try to get even.

Oliver 5 – Hart 4.

Final score.