Yeah yeah yeah, I know, it's been forever since I've last posted. Kinda surprised my account is still active. Anyways, I guess maybe a few of you are still looking for how I'm gonna end up finishing the Resident Evil/ X-men crossover and the Toad Trip series. Trust me, I'm working on it. But, due to the large part of watching alot of Kevin Smith movies, I've had the urge to also continue with my Clerks spoof. Thus making me give this disclaimer, I don't any of the characters within this fic, and Clerks is owned by Kevin Smith. So, just read it, I'm not making a profit. And for the benefit of those not familiar with the plot line, Lance and Pietro have both taking jobs, Lance at a convenience store, Pietro at the neighboring video store. Todd and Fred just sorta hang out between them. The running bet is that Pietro will quit his job before Lance.
Lance groaned, his head pounding from the night before. "Why the heck did I let those guy talk me into a game of Whack-the-guy-nearest-you-with-a-pillow again?" he moaned, wondering why his head kept ringing. Wasn't until a few seconds later that he realized it was the phone. This brought out yet another groan. "It's the boss.....I just know it," he muttered, as he picked up the receiver. "Lance, that you?" grunted a deep voice on the other end. "Yeah its me, what do you want?" groaned the teen, falling back into a pile of dirty clothes. "You need to open up today," explained his boss. Lance's eyes bugged out. "You're kidding me right? I opened and closed the store the whole week!" he cried. "Not my problem," barked the voice, and hung up. Lance moaned, sitting up. "This job sucks." Just then, a gust of wind blew past him. "You think you're job is hard, you should try mine. Man, I had like, what, four people yesterday! Talk about a busy day," sneered Pietro, as he leaned against the wall, grinning. Lance glared up. "You'd never be able to handle the store." Pietro shrugged. "Who knows, but either way, you can't open the store, and I can't open the movie shop today. Since we got kicked out of school, Magneto's having Gambit train us on weekends. Though, today its just you and me, somehow Toad and Blob got out of it." Lance sighed and fell back. "Great, if I don't open, I'll get another pay cut, I'm barely making minimum as it is already." Pietro nodded, though clearly not caring. "Why not get some sucker to open for you?" Lance moaned. "Who the heck is dumb enough to take our jobs for a day?"
"So, all I gotta do is stand back here and give people change?" asked Todd, scratching his head. "Yes, usually you'd have to stock the shelves and change light bulbs, but I'll take care of that tomorrow. For your sake, all you have to do is stand there, and try and not steal anything," explained Lance. Todd shrugged. "Sounds simple enough, yo. So, what's my cut again?" Lance sighed, and pulled out his wallet. "You get Fifty now, and when I get back and everything is in shape, and not on fire, and not stolen, you'll get an extra hundred." Todd grinned, snagging the fifty dollars from Lance, pocketing it. "No problem, yo. Heh, I got it covered." Lance groaned, as he turned to leave. "What have I done?" he muttered under his breath as he walked out. Todd stood behind the counter, smiling, looking around, then at the door. This lasted for about four minutes. "Man....this is boring," he sighed, till something in the corner of the store caught his eye. "Heh, that should be fun....."
"Uh....and how do I do this again?" muttered Fred. Pietro grinned. "It's simple. Sure, some people might come in and try and rent a movie, but all you gotta do is say it sucks. If ya get bored, just lock up and go next door. And if by some chance some insists on renting a video, just tell them to give you their home address and number, and write down which video they're taking. Usually you'd use the computer, but I don't have the time to teach you how to turn it on. That's a full weekend course in your case. Well, good luck Blob, see ya," explained Pietro, as he left. "Huh, doesn't sound so hard," commented Fred, as he went to the door, and flipped the sign to read open. The door suddenly burst open, as a mob of people rushed in, actually knocking Fred over, trampling him. "Oh man......"
"Ah man! We've got to wait for Jean after school and give her a ride after soccer practice," exclaimed Scott. Kurt looked over, a look of obvious annoyance. "Why didn't you tell me earlier? You know me, I like to have at least a small snack after school, ever since we had to cut off my early morning burger runs to get to start showing up to first period on time." Scott shook his head as he pulled over in front of the Speed Stop. "Don't worry, we'll just pick something up real fast here." The two teens hopped out of the car, moving to the front door. "Wait a minute, doesn't one of the Brotherhood work here?" asked Kurt. "Yeah, Alvers does, but luckily, he seems to have an actual work ethic, so we don't have to wor...." started Scott, but was cut off as he was hit in the face with two jelly filled doughnuts. "What the heck?" he cried, trying to clear the gunk from his shades. "TOAD!" exclaimed Kurt, his jaw dropping in shock. Somehow, Todd had managed to change the mop wringer in the corner of the store in to an automatic doughnut launcher. "Uh, hey Summers. Sorry about that, you know how work is, gets boring and all," grinned Todd, as he hopped across the store to behind the counter. Scott growled, unable to clean his shades with out causing large smears. Kurt felt it best to just grab the nearest food item and make haste to the drink case. He grabbed a large bag of chips, and hurried toward the drinks, only to slip and fall on his back. "What in the world?" he yelled, sitting up, covered in a yellow goop. He looked around to find dozens upon dozens of egg cartons, with shattered egg shells everywhere. "Why did you break all these eggs?" Kurt yelled. Todd shrugged. "Wasn't me. Lance warned me about this guy who comes in and opens all the egg cartons and breaks all the eggs. Then he just pays and leaves. Kinda funny really." Scott went over and helped Kurt up. "I think I'll just stick with the chips and get something to drink out of the machines in the school," he muttered. "Probably a good idea kiddo," muttered Scott, as they paid for the chips and left. Todd grinned, putting the cash in the register. He once again went to standing and grinning, watching the door. After a few minutes, he began to frown again. "Man, wonder if it's this boring in the movie shop," he muttered, looking around for something to keep him busy. Unfortunately, he turned around and noticed several magazines covered in black plastic. "Huh, what's so special about these?"
Meanwhile, Blob was having his own problems. "Hey, is this movie any good?" "Do you have that movie with that guy who did that thing that one time only?" "Oh! Oh! Oh! Six Armed Creeps!" These were just among the few phrases and questions yelled at Fred while he vainly tried to keep up. Eventually, it just became too much. "ENOUGH!!" he yelled, and started videos and chunking them at people. "JUST TAKE THEM! TAKE THEM ALL! JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!" he yelled, flinging several videos in random directions. Many people screamed and ran for the exit, while a few of the braver teens stuck out just long enough till Fred accidentally started tossing out the pornographic videos, in which case it was grab and run. When the video store finally cleared, Fred sat down, sighing in relief. "Finally, peace." That's when a man suddenly stuck his head in through the door. "Um, how long do I keep this movie?" This was answered with Fred yelling and running out of the store.
Todd grinned, as he leaned back in the chair behind the counter, eyeing the pages of several of the magazines he had opened. "Oh man, how could Lance complain about this job with all this great stuff back here." Unfortunately, he was too busy to notice the hordes of people who had entered the store, most looking for bandages for the cuts and scrapes they received from a sudden barrage of video cassettes. Several had started waiting in line at the counter, bleeding or swelling, before it became obvious the boy behind the counter had no clue they were there, in which case, it became a free for all, with everyone grabbing as much stuff as they could carry, and running out before the odd smelling boy behind the counter knew they were there. Fred entered the store, which sent people screaming from the Speed Stop. The screams were loud enough to jar Todd from his viewing pleasures, causing him to turn around. "HEY! You're supposed to pay for that!" he yelled, trying to catch a few people running out, but it was too late. He sighed and turned to Fred. "Hey, what are you doing here, aren't you supposed to working next door?" Fred eyes bugged out, and let out another yell, as he ran out the door, and down the street, out of sight. "Whoa....guess it was that bad...."
"Pietro, why do I have a bad feeling about all this," Lance muttered, as he drove towards the Speed Stop. "Because we left the mutant equivalent of a monkey and gorilla in charge of the stores?" quipped Pietro, grinning. Lance scowled. "You know, this is your job on the line too you know." Pietro was about to answer when his jaw dropped. Lance also caught sight of the problem and laughed. The window to the video store was shattered, the door torn off it's hinges, along with several teens running out of the store, arms loaded with video games and pornographic videos. "Oh man, you are in it deep when the boss sees this," Lance laughed, parking the jeep. "Oh man, it's gonna take me hours to clean this up and track down all the people who ran off with videos. "Ah don't worry, I'll grab the broom and mop in the Speed Stop and help you out," grinned Lance, as he walked into the store, and let out a horrified yell. Pietro ran over, and laughed. "Oh man, we're both fired come tomorrow!" The shelves were bare, and some even knocked over, the only thing still in the store was the Toad, in the middle of a fortress of Playboys and Penthouses. "TOAD! What happened??" yelled Lance. Todd looked up from the magazine he was looking at. "Oh yeah, well, the video store got like swamped, causing Fred too lose it, and fling tapes at everyone, which caused them to come here for some reason, in which case, they looted and mobbed the store. Though, everything behind the counter is safe," explained Todd, smiling. Lance's jaw dropped, and before he could come up with a comment, he just plain passed out. Just at that moment, two men stuck they're heads in through the door, One a skinny long haired man, the other a long haired stocky guy with a large over coat and a beard. "Whoa, looks like we missed out on the free treats Silent Bob, guess we better get outta here," with that, they left.
There you go people. Probably not as funny as I liked it to be, but that's because I just got hit by a new idea for new series, MUTANTS OF THE CORN! I know, sounds corny, but you'll see, its not that bad.....plus, I'm still working on my Resident Evil crossover. Plus, trying to figure out what to do next on my Toad Trip saga.