Hi! This is a little story I'm writing and I thought I'd share it with you. Might get some other chapters since I've got some ideas, but I'm pretty busy, so it probably won't be up before Christmas.
This is set right after the fight in Always and Castle has just left Beckett's apartment. Hope you like it!
Disclaimer: I do not own Castle or anything that has to do with it.
Suddenly the meaning of his words seeps through her stubbornness. He left. He doesn't want to see her die. She can't do this without him next to her. Before she knows it her feet are carrying her out the door, following in his footsteps.
"Castle! Wait!" She calls when she sees him stepping into the elevator. He puts his hand between the doors to stop them from closing.
"What, Kate?" His voice sounds hurt, distant. There are tears in his eyes as if he can barely hold them back. By seeing the desperate look on her face, he blinks, though. Tears momentarily forgotten. One he hasn't been able to stop runs down his cheek.
"Castle," Kate says softly when she's nearer. She raises a hand to wipe the escaped tear from his face. She doesn't know what to do next. She doesn't want him to leave, but she doesn't know what to do to make him stay.
"I'm sorry." It's weak, but it's a start. Castle stares at her, he seems not to notice that her hand is still on his cheek. Her fingers slowly start to caress his smooth skin, running in small circles. They seem to have forgotten to be half in the elevator until it gives a ping and starts to close its doors, only to sense that there's something between them and opening again. Kate drops her hand and takes Castle's.
"Come back inside," she says. Castle can't do much else then oblige, the drastic change in Beckett seems to have rendered him speechless. She leads him back into her apartment and closes the door softly behind him, never letting go of his hand. It feels good to hold it. She noticed that earlier that day, when she took his hand in the precinct, but this is different. This is more serious.
"You're right." It's out before she knows it and she can't take it back now, not that she wants to, but it was never her intention to tell him that. But it seems like it was the right thing to say, because Castle unfreezes. His eyes regain some of his former sparkle. The blue starts twinkling again and it leaves her breathless.
"Are you serious? Are you willing to stop?"
"Yes, I am."
"Just like that?"
"Just like that."
"Kate, I -" he doesn't know what to say, but the look he gives her says it all. He loves her. He doesn't want anything to happen to her, but for her to give up the most important thing in her life - her mom's case - maybe it's too much. She deserves justice. She deserves to know who ruined her life, who murdered her mom. He hates that there's no way to find that out now without getting her in danger.
"Castle, it's okay. You're right. I don't want to die for this, there must be another way. We could… I don't know, we'll figure it out." She knows him too well.
"Thank you." He pulls her closer by instinct. He doesn't know what his plan was, maybe to hug her, maybe to just have her closer to him. It never crossed his mind to kiss her, not yet. It seems like Kate Beckett had something else in mind, though, because he's surprised to suddenly find her lips on his. It takes him a second to react, but then he puts his free hand on her back, pulling her even closer to him. He starts to move his lips against hers, lets go of her hand to put his in her neck. He feels her hand come to his shoulder, slowly moving up to his neck and running through his hair.
"Rick," she breathes, it leaves her mouth without permission. She feels a shiver run down Castle's spine and it feels good. "Rick," she says again. He groans, shivering again. He puts his lips against hers again and deepens the kiss.
Her empty stomach is what pulls them apart. She laughs and puts her head on his shoulder. "How 'bout some food first?" he says.
"Sounds good." She lets him go and walks into her kitchen. She pulls open the fridge to see if she has any food left. "I've got some chicken leftover from a couple of nights ago, how does that sound?"
"Great." Castle sounds far away. He's still in the doorway, looking a bit lost.
"Castle," she says, but it doesn't help, he's lost in thought. "Rick." Still no reaction. Kate sighs, walks to him and takes his hand. "Come on," she says when he finally focuses on her. She pulls him over to the couch and gives him a shove to make him sit. Since there's still no real reaction from him, she walks back into the kitchen and puts the chicken in the oven.
While she waits for dinner to be ready she leans against the counter and watches him. He sits where she put him, staring out in space. She wonders what's going on in his head. He's never this quiet, she would like him to be sometimes, but now it unsettles her.
The oven pings and she takes the chicken out, dividing it over two plates. She walks over to Castle on the couch and sits down next to him. "Here, Castle. Eat." He takes the plate, but still isn't with her. She takes a bite, still watching him and not really tasting the food. She rolls her eyes and takes his plate from him again, putting it on the coffee table along with her own. She shifts so she can put her hand against his cheek to turn his head. "Castle, what is it?" she asks.
"Uh - huh? What?" he says, finally getting out of his head.
"Castle, you totally zoned out, what's up?"
"No, nothing."
"Castle," Kate sighs.
"Really nothing's up, just thinking."
"Yeah, I could see that. Anything good?"
"Very," he says with a mischievous sparkle in his eyes.
"Good, now eat," Kate says. Great, so he was just fantasizing - about her - with her right in front of him - with her right in front of him willing to try out some of those fantasies. Yeah, she kissed him, so she's admitting at least to herself that she wants to live some of those fantasies.
"Yes, ma'am." He picks up their plates from the coffee table again and hands her hers. She takes another bite while he inspects the food.
"What? You don't trust my cooking skills?" she teases.
"Oh, I do, this looks great. I just don't trust your fridge, this smells a bit odd. Kate, when did you make this?"
"Ehm, Monday, I think?" She says it as a question, even though she doesn't doubt she made it on Monday. She's just curious what his angle is.
"And it had been in the fridge since then?"
"Yeah… I don't - oh, shit!" She realises it tastes all wrong, it's gone bad. "Give me your plate." She takes his plate and throws it all away. "Great, so now what? We still need to eat."
"I'll order us some Thai," Castle says, pulling out his phone.
"Fine."
She takes the dirty plates and throws them in the sink. She turns on the tap and starts cleaning. After Castle has made his call and the plates are clean again they stare at each other. Neither of them knows what to do. Eventually, Kate snaps out of it and offers him wine.
"Yes, please," he says.
She grabs two glasses and the bottle and walks over to the couch. Castle stands in the middle of the room and just watches her. Kate sits down and looks at him. "Come here, Castle, don't just stand there." He does what she asked and sits down next to her rigidly. Kate puts a hand on his shoulder and pushes him into the cushions. "Castle stop being awkward," she tells him, putting her hand over his knee.
He smiles. "I'll try." But he seems to relax a bit as she leans back into the cushions. Her hand still on his knee and he takes it, weaving their fingers together.
"Kate, are you - you didn't - I mean - uh -" Castle starts, he knows what he wants to ask, but doesn't know how.
Kate chuckles. "You are some writer. What is it, Castle?"
"I - you …" He takes a deep breath. "You kissed me."
"Yes, and you kissed me back, remember."
He blinks, unable to grasp the change in her. Not thirty minutes ago she accused him of betraying her. "What made you change your mind?"
"You did. You left. I was selfish, realised I couldn't do it without you there," she says. She can't look him in the eye as she tells him this so she looks at their entangled hands as she says "I don't want to," in a soft voice.
He doesn't say anything and when she finally looks up he's staring at her. His eyes are filled with love, so much love. Her eyes widen. She knows he loves her, that he had been holding it in, but only now she can see some of the extent of his feelings for her. And it doesn't scare her like it would have a few weeks ago, or even this morning. Now, she feels like she's able to return some of it. It'll take time for her to allow herself to love him the way he loves her, but she knows she will.
She puts her free hand on his cheek and pulls him closer to touch his lips with hers. Before they can deepen the kiss, there's a knock on her door. She pulls away with a sigh and he chuckles. "Food first, remember?"
"Right," she starts to get up, but he stops her, pulls her back onto the couch.
"This one's on me, you paid last time."
She's pretty sure he paid last time too, actually, but doesn't want to make an issue out of it now and lets it go. She hears him open the door and making soft conversation with the delivery boy. Then he's back, carrying a bag that's way too big for just the two of them.
"Castle, did you order for the entire precinct?"
"Funny. You just seemed hungry and I thought I'd –" He doesn't finish his sentence and narrows his eyes at her. "I know what you're doing."
"I'm not doing anything," she plays along.
"Yes, you are, you're trying to push my buttons."
"Is it working?" she teases.
"Don't ruin the déjà vu moment." Déjà vu moment? She raises her eyebrows.
"What the hell are you talking about ?" she asks.
"Nothing," he says quickly.
"Then shut up and come here, I'm hungry."
Castle does as he's told and sits next to her on the couch. Closer than he would have done earlier and he's happy when he feels her lean into him.
"So what did you get us?" she whispers into his ear. He turns his head to find her still so very close. She returns his broad smile easily.
"The usual," he manages, still amazed by her lips so close to his. She sees his eyes flick down from her eyes to her lips and can't help but tease him a bit by bringing her lips even closer to his.
"Oh, Beckett, you're going to be the death of me," he groans before he closes the distance and for a few minutes the food is forgotten.
"Why? I'm not asking you to hold back… Rick," she breathes against his lips after she breaks away. She feels him shiver and she smiles.
Her empty stomach ruins their moment for the second time when it rumbles. He chuckles. "Food, you need to eat."
"Yeah, apparently. There are other things I don't mind doing, though."
"So I've noticed," he says with a smug smile.
"Shut up, Castle," she says as she takes a huge bite out of the container closest to her. She moans when she tastes the food. "So much better than that chicken, what is this?"
"That is mine, actually, the one you never wanted to try even though I told you it was great." She's stubborn like that, she hadn't been able to acknowledge that his choice is better, but now she's already doomed.
"Hmm, you're right, this is delicious," she says as she takes another bite, ignoring his face that gets smugger by the minute. He actually looks adorable and she's very tempted to kiss him again. She's able to stop herself by taking another huge bite.
"Can we at least share?" Castle asks.
"No, I like this and I'm hungry."
"But… you stole my food! Give it back!" he says and he leans forward to snatch the box out of her hands, she sees it coming and holds the box away from him. He leans in further, but still isn't able to reach it. "C'mon, Beckett, I'm hungry too," he whines. While he says it he turns his face to hers, a shocked look crosses his eyes. He's basically draped over her. The container of food temporarily forgotten they stare at each other. She sees a smile cross his lips before she feels them on hers. She gets out a little whimper of surprise before dropping the container to pull him closer by his hair with her now free hand.
The thud of the container on the floor makes Castle move back a little as he glances at the container. "Oh, you're good," he murmurs against her lips.
"Hmm?" She follows his eyes and sees that the box managed to stay upright. Then she feels Castle's hand on her cheek to turn her head back to his.
Before she can say anything he kisses her again and she lets him devour her. Why did she hold back for four years again? When he's kissing her like that it's hard to remember.
Thoughts?