Leaving Without You

By Alasse Fefalas

Lisbon jumped slightly at the knock on her front door. Standing stiffly from her couch, she walked over and opened the door, already expecting the man behind it.

"Evening, Lisbon," Jane greeted with a small smile.

"Hi," Lisbon replied, smiling. Despite everything, even the presence of Patrick Jane could bring a smile to her face. She moved to her left, making space for him to walk through. "Come in."

Jane nodded and walked in, his movements tight. Lisbon was well aware she was the one who caused it, with her previous ominous message of "We need to talk." Those messages were never taken well.

Lisbon waved him towards the dining table where a teapot and two cups were already prepared. "I've tea."

"Even for you?" Jane was mocking surprise.

"I do drink it, you know. A little late for coffee, don't you think?" Lisbon rolled her eyes. She pulled out a chair and sat down. There was no need to ask Jane to sit down opposite her - he was already doing it.

Jane took the teapot and poured the steaming light brown liquid into the cups silently. Sliding one towards Lisbon, he picked up the one closer to him, he blew slightly into the cup and took a tentative sip. "Mm, Earl Grey," Jane nodded appreciatively before setting the cup down. "So, Lisbon. What did you want to talk about?"

Lisbon stared at the cup of tea in front of her. It was such an easy thing to say, but nothing was easy between them. Sure, camaraderie was always there. They could tease each other senseless but when it came to just them, all they knew were anger and frustration. Lisbon took in a deep breath and let it out slowly. She looked at Jane and finally spoke, "You've heard that some people are being posted to D.C. right? Well, Marcus told me he got it."

"Pike got the promotion to D.C.? Well, good for him," Jane congratulated. "But that's not what you wanted to talk about, was it?"

"No. He told me there's another opening for a field agent in D.C. too. He asked me to come along."

Jane stared at her, his emotions of horror, grief and surprise apparent on his face. "You said yes." It wasn't a question; It was a statement.

Lisbon shook her head. "I didn't tell him no."

"So, you're leaving me behind, eh?"

"I didn't say that, did I?" Lisbon snapped.

"What do you expect me to do, Lisbon? I'm stuck with a contract with Abbott. Here. In Texas," Jane said angrily, punctuating his words with stabs to the table.

"You're the one who got yourself into that contract Jane, not me. You're an FBI consultant. I'm an FBI AGENT."

Jane leaned back and crossed his arms. "You do realise you're only an FBI agent because of me, don't you?"

Lisbon blinked. Fury rushed through her system, a red curtain over her eyes. Standing up, she stalked over to him. "I didn't ask to be one, did I? Before you, I had a job in Washington. Sure it was boring, it was monotonous, but you know what it wasn't? Stressful. And then suddenly you came gallivanting back to the US, demanding me to join the FBI. Do you know how hard it is to work with you Jane? You're always stringing everyone along with your plans. And you know what? I'm tired. I'm tired of your crazy plans, of your unpredictable behaviour, of you stringing us along. I'm just... tired."

Lisbon was panting by the time she was done, her rant from all the pent up emotions over the past year that came flooding out of her. Suddenly, Jane stood up and pulled her into a warm embrace. "I'm sorry," he whispered. Lisbon wrapped her arms around his back and buried her face into his shoulder, forcing herself to hold back her tears. She couldn't - wouldn't - cry because of him. Not again.

"I didn't want to be a problem, Lisbon. I swear it wasn't my intention. I just wanted to help you," Jane whispered.

Lisbon pulled back, crossed her arms and stared up into his eyes. "Bullshit," she spat. Jane was taken aback. "You were selfish, Jane. You didn't want to work alone, so you dragged me along."

"No, that's not it."

"Then what, Jane? What excuse do you have this time?"

"I..." Jane trailed at a loss of words. Shaking his head, he crumpled into his chair. Elbows on his knees, his head in his hands. Slowly, he let out a long sigh. He looked up bleakly at the woman in front of him. "You... don't know what you mean to me, Lisbon."

Sighing, she pulled out a chair and sat down facing him. Gently, she placed her hand over his. "Then tell me."

Jane took her hand and held it to his cheek. "I can't."

"Why?"

"Because I can't make you happy, Lisbon. As much as I love you, Pike's better for you."

Lisbon's breath hitched when he said it. Those words, she had always wanted to hear from him, to reassure her that she wasn't throwing her heart in vain. For so long, she was never sure he felt the same way she did, that he was only manipulating her feelings to get what he wanted... but now? Now she knew it was real. "Jane..."

"Go with Pike, Lisbon. D.C. would be better to you than I would be," Jane said bitterly. Kissing her knuckles, he stood up and let her hand go. Turning, he started to walk to the door. "Goodbye, Lisbon."

Lisbon grabbed Jane's jacket, forcing him to stop. "Hey, we're not done here. Don't you dare go."

Jane turned around, pain flashing in his eyes. "What else do you want me to say, Lisbon?"

"Seriously, Jane? Did you think the only reason I joined the FBI was because they forced me to? I could have always said no and let them throw you in jail," Lisbon shouted, forcing Jane to cringe slightly at the memory. "I joined because of you, you jackass. Because I could be with you."

Jane touched her cheek softly. "I can only cause you pain, Lisbon. I want you, but I don't want to do that to you."

An eyebrow raised. "That's for me to decide, don't you think? Stop protecting me, Jane. I'm the one with the gun."

"I can't help it, Lisbon. After Angela and Charlotte..."

"Jane, stop." Lisbok took a step closer to him, her eyes softening. "You've changed. You've learnt and you've grown. No one can forcibly take me away from you... except for you."

"I still owe you an apology for that, huh?"

"Probably closer to a thousand," chuckled Lisbon. "But I don't want apologies, Jane. I want you."

It was like as if something in Jane snapped. The hand on her cheek slid to her nape as he pulled her forwards. His kiss was hard, almost needy. His rough lips a stark contrast against her soft, luscious ones. Lisbon's hands immediately went up into his hair, pulling him closer to her, eliciting a soft possessive growl from him. He slid his tongue across her bottom lip. Her soft gasp of pleasure allowed him a deep taste of her.

When the kiss broke, nuzzled at her neck, tickling her with his slight beard, already growing from its last morning shave.

"Jane, stop," Lisbon rasped. She was struggling to form coherent sentences.

Jane placed a light kiss at her pulse point. "Why?"

Lights went up in her eyes but she forced herself to continue. "Marcus," she gasped out. "Still... attached."

Jane closed his eyes and breathed in her scent. Reluctantly, he pulled back and took a step backwards. "I'm not apologising for that."

Lisbon smiled. She hadn't expected him to, anyway. "I know."

"You're not going to D.C. then?"

"I'm meeting Marcus tomorrow. I'll be letting him know I'm staying right here in Texas... with you."

A smile lit up his face. His arms snaked round her body and pulled her into a warm hug. "Thank you," he whispered. "I can't make you happy, but at least I can stop hurting you."

Lisbon kissed his lower jaw gently. "I'm already happy, Jane. It's good enough."

"I love you, Teresa. And now that I've tasted you, I don't want to give you up to anyone else."

"I've always been yours, Jane," she whispered, causing him to shudder under her.

Jane tightened his grip, holding her as close as he could to himself. "Mine," he growled softly. "Not Pike's. Mine."

"After tomorrow," Lisbon laughed. "All yours."

Fin.

A/N: ...ok. Well that that didn't really go as planned. It started out angsty and now... yeah. Obviously, I can't write long, intimate scenes like this (and that kiss omg I'm sorry if it was torture for you to read!). I tried my best though!

I didn't really wanna post this up because it seemed really OOC to me but my friend has convinced (forced) me to do so. I hope you enjoyed it! Critiques and reviews are very much welcome and are very loved! Thanks for reading!