I went one night to Rocky Horror
Hoping to find a man
I didn't really care who he was
But I wanted him blonde and tan
I didn't care much about the brains
Just that he had a solid bod
Just like Frank I can't resist
A man looking like some Greek god
So I went into the theater
Scanning the crowd for a Rocky
I'm not really a gorgeous girl
But heels and fishnets make me cocky
So the first stud that I saw
I thought was mine for keeps
I wanted him and no one else
All the rest were dorks and creeps
I made my way past Riffs and Brads
And Janets in bras and slips
Just in time to see
A Dr. Furter kiss my Rocky's lips
I gave a huff and a sigh
Today was not my day
Of course the apple of my eye
Had to go along and be gay
Yet I'm a determined gal
So I turned and set my chin
Love may be a difficult game
But the patient always win
So I roamed about the aisles
Looking for an Eddie
This guy would have more soul
Rocky's just dumb and petty
Eddie is a real man
Tough with a love of rock
Riding with him on his motorcycle
We would party around the clock
I spotted a promising candidate
And to his side I flew
But by the time I made it there
His Columbia was back from the loo
I walked away sadly
Wondering how I could land a Frank
My once high, buoyant confidence
Had now gone and sank
I became truly frustrated
Tears made my vision blurry
I could scrounge up some cheap knock-off Frank
But there is only one Tim Curry
I wiped my eyes and shook my head
I had finally had enough
This search for love was way too hard
My heart was feeling pretty rough
With a sigh I surrendered
And finally took my chair
When suddenly in the corner of my eye
I saw some platinum, stringy hair
I studied the Riff Raff next to me
And he gave me a tender smile
So I decided to give him a chance
And watch him for a while
He shouted out participation lines
He threw all his rice and toast
My heart soon began to warm
This guy knew much more than most!
Too soon the movie was over
And I hadn't seen the screen
I had a crush on this character
I was growing pretty keen
I decided to give love another try
Praying this time I wouldn't miss
And with a swish of blank trench coat
My Riffy bent gave me a kiss