For years Sasuke had prepared with Orochimaru for this, the day when he would face his brother in the fated final battle. He had put up with the near constant molestation and the wacky wardrobe just for this meeting, and god damn it, He was going to win!

As he walked to the building he knew Itachi would be in, Sasuke began to mentally prepare himself to be ready for anything. No mental preparing could have prepared him for this.

"Oh Sasu-chan! Please join me!" Sasuke's eyes nearly fell out of their sockets. Itachi…surrounded by stuffed animals…having a tea party. No! Sasuke must have fallen into a gengitsu.

"Kai!" Still there. Damn.

Not about to be distracted by Itachi's cleverly crafted plan Sasuke began his well rehearsed speech, perfected by hours in front of a mirror.

"This will be the final battle Itachi. Tonight I will avenge my family that you so heartlessly murdered! I shall put to rest the souls that have so long awaited the day that their killer shall be killed himself. You oh remorseless murderer shall die by my hand tonight!" Sasuke finished his speech impressively. Itachi clapped and gave his outoto an approving look.

"Your writing skills have really improved! You must have spent a lot of time thinking about me to have crafted that witty speech…but don't you think your being just a little hypocritical?" Sasuke looked like he had just heard Naruto declare his Emo-ness to the world. "I mean, 'I will avenge the death of my family by killing my brother'. You will be a family killer yourself…also, how many people are tossing in their graves because you haven't kicked the bucket? You're just as bad as me." He finished simply, gazing dispassionately at his shell shocked brother.

"Well, I guess that you'll be in a better mood for a tea party next time little bro" Itachi said before poking Sasuke rather hard on the forehead and disappearing in a puff of ravens.

"What…Just…Happened?" Sasuke asked as he began to lose consciousness, but before the world went entirely black, Sasuke heard something that made the blood freeze in his veins.

"Kakashi! Sakura! I found Sasuke! Believe it!" Oh no!

"Sasuke-kkkkuuuuunnnnn! Please God, be merciful!

"I can't let you take this sexy body from me! Besides, he came to my side willingly!" Wasn't he supposed to be dead?

"Stay away from him!"

DAMN YOU ITACHI! FINISH WHAT YOU STARTED!

*somewhere in rain country*

Achoo!

"Hey Kisame, someone is thinking about me!

Kisame just prayed that once Itachi died off he would get a partner less suited for a loony bin and more suited for the role of an insane killer. (And perhaps someone who wouldn't call him fish sticks…or tuna…or shark bait…or sushi…or gills…or any of the other original nicknames he had bestowed upon him.)