Title: LOST (Re-vamped)
Rating: R to NC17
Disclaimer: I do not own Vampire Academy or any characters within this story. I am not making any money from the writing of this story. Contains spoilers for the Vampire Academy Series, explicit language and sexual situations. Read at your own discretion.
A/N: This is a re-vamped version of the story LOST. I have a good idea of where I'm taking Dimitri and Rose so keep an eye out for part two! Enjoy! Thanks for all the awesome reviews! You guys are great! Also, sorry I don't get to update as often as I like - I have limited free time. Thanks again!
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Dimitri stared at me with a look that made my blood run cold. Like I was something strange and bad. "Rose, please stop. Please stay away." He was working hard to stay calm but unfortunately I didn't have that same control. I shot up - angry and frustrated - I had a feeling that if I stayed, we'd both snap. In an undertone I whispered, "This isn't over. I won't give up on you."
I turned my back to Dimitri so he wouldn't see the tears in my eyes, "I've given up on you," he said back, no emotion in his words. "Love fades, Rose. Mine has."
That was the last thing he'd said to me at the chapel. Everything after that was a blur - legs pounding as I ran as far and as hard as I possibly could, lungs burning once I burst into my room at court - eyes stinging with wind and tears. It was to much - his words cut through me like a knife and I couldn't hold back the sobs anymore as my legs gave out from exhaustion.
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"Rose?"
My eyes opened slowly - heavy with dried tears. Lissa was standing over me - the warmth of spirit flooding our bond as she looked at me with sympathy and concern. "I'm so sorry." She whispered, sitting beside me on the large bed before wrapping her arms around my shoulders and holding me against her chest. Obviously she'd heard of mine and Dimitri's conversation at the chapel but I'd thought she'd be angry instead of concerned. She didn't like it when I upset Dimitri but for the record that wasn't my intention. No one understood how much Dimitri meant to me - he was my other half, and I just wanted him to be okay. Another sob escaped me and I hid my face in her shoulder. I didn't like being this girl - broken and weak but my heart felt like a boulder in my chest and it wasn't getting any better.
"I understand that Dimitri is confused and hurting because of his time as a Striogi but now it's like he's deliberately trying to hurt you. You don't deserve this, Rose. You never deserved any of this." I felt Lissa's own tears begin to fall, running down my bare shoulder as she tightened her arms around me. Through our bond I could tell Lissa's sorrow ran deeper then Dimitri's recent actions towards me - refusing to speak to me, treating me like I was the source of his pain. Something else had happened after I left the chapel - pushing through her grief the answer was loud and clear.
Lissa knew she couldn't hide anything from me but she was trying - her thoughts were dark, full of shadows as she tried to block them out but I got traces of her most recent conversation with Christian - and the news that Dimitri had met up with Tasha after the sermon and offered his guardianship to her. Even after recent events in Dimitri's life - denying her first offer, becoming Strigoi, killing countless innocents and then returning to his dhampir state, of course she still wanted him (in every aspect of the phrase) and he accepted the offer.
Dimitri was leaving Court to become Tasha Ozera's guardian and possible baby daddy.
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Something inside me broke - whether it be my heart or my better judgement - the only thing I knew was the boulder in my chest had burst and I felt alive. Lissa sat up and looked at me - fear spreading across her beautiful face as I pushed myself from the bed and turned towards the door with inhuman speed. "Rose!" I heard her calling for me but there were no words to give her - I didn't have time. I knew she'd never be able to catch me and I didn't know how much time I had before Dimitri was gone, again.
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I'd heard after his interrogation with the guards The Queen had moved Dimitri from his holding cell and kindly given him a room at one of the hotel's at the edge of Court until he figured out his next move. Only a handful of people thought he was a threat to the Moroi race so his guard had dropped significantly. To my surprise Mikhail was the only guard in the lobby of the small hotel - standing outside a door I assumed was Dimitri's. "Rose? What's up?" I jogged towards him - scanning the surroundings. "Where's the others? The guards?" Mikhail shrugged. "They were called to the queen's chambers and since that interrogation Dimitri doesn't need as many of us around anymore. It's just me."
Lucky me. "Is Dimitri in there?" I pointed to the room. Mikhail hesitated, "He said no visitor's. I'm sorry." I shoved past him but his speed matched my own and he stopped me before I could get to the door. "He doesn't want to see you, Rose. You can't..." I didn't have time for this. "If anyone would understand it's you, Mikhail! Please..." I shoved past him again with no luck. "Dimitri is leaving in the morning with Tasha Ozera. He's going to be her personal guard. It's over."
I stared at Mikhail in disbelief - it wasn't news to me but it still hurt and I guess that showed on my face because his grip on my arm loosened. "I'm sorr-." With all my strength I lashed out - punching him hard in the face, sending him flying backwards into the wall. The next few seconds were a blur as Dimitri opened his door and I burst inside - shoving him back in his surprised state before turning the lock.
"Rose? What the hell? What are you doing here?"
His words were filled with rage. I didn't care anymore. "You can't do this to me, Dimitri! You can't give Tasha what she wants. You love me!" There was no control anymore - what little I had crumbled at the sight of Dimitri. "This is ridiculous. You need to realize that it's over, Rose! I don't love you - I don't want to be with you!" Dimitri was shouting now - closing the space between us.
It reminded me of our time in Russia - he was dangerous again, his control had finally snapped. Before I could stop myself I pounced on him - throwing all my weight into him as he fell back onto the bed, shoving against me - grabbing my arms, trying his best to fight me off without attacking me with his full strength. Our hips met as I straddled him - holding his arms down above his head. "I fucking hate you."
In a flash he flipped me on my back - moving his face inches from mine. "If you hate me..." He leaned down so our faces were inches away, "...then why the fuck are you here?" He whispered, his sweet breath at my lips. This wasn't exactly how I'd expected our converstation to go. Our eyes searched one another's for a long moment - his dark hues matched my own filled with grief and pain. He couldn't fool me. I shoved him with all my strength and watched as his back hit the wall before I leapt forward. "I did everything I could for you! I went to fucking Russia to find you and then I - not Lissa or anyone else, I fucking saved you Dimitri! What do you want from me?"
"I want you to leave me the fuck alone!"
His words dripped with hate - his eyes narrowed, he wasn't joking. "I never asked you to be my savior. Did you ever think for a second about anyone but yourself? Did you think about how I would be if you turned me back into a dhampir? The pain I would be burdened with for the rest of my life because of my actions? You should have killed me!"
I stared at Dimitri in disbelief. He blamed me for everything - at least everything that had happened after he was turned. Maybe even because he'd been turned - if we'd never been together maybe all of this wouldn't have happened. Maybe he wouldn't have been distracted when the attack on the school happened. Maybe everything was my fault. I turned to leave - to run away like I had been for the past year. It had been his first lesson. Run. To my surprise he didn't let me go as easily as before.
Dimitri grabbed my arm hard, digging his fingers into the flesh to turn me around. "This is what you want, Rose. You wanted me to talk to you - to open up, right?" He wasn't yelling anymore but his tone was much worse - mocking, angry - hateful. I swallowed hard - promising myself that I wouldn't cry. I wouldn't give him the satisfaction. "Because of you - because you couldn't let me go - I'm haunted."
Before I could stop myself I slapped Dimitri hard across the face - causing his head to snap to the side. "I wish you were still Strigoi! You were better without a soul!" When he turned back to me my hand print was across his tan cheek and his eyes were primal. I don't think he'll be holding back anymore. He lunged towards me and grabbed both my wrists - spinning me around like a rag doll and slamming me into the wall behind us. The air escaped my lungs when I hit - my last breath a gasp as his fist came towards me - slamming into the wall inches from my face.
Dimitri's arm went through the wall - causing our chests to meet, his other hand around my throat, holding my body against the wall. We were gasping for air - staring at each other, waiting for the next move. To my surprise he removed the hand at my neck, sliding his fingers down my collar bone and stopping just above my breast. Slowly the air was returning to my lungs, my chest rising and falling against his as we watched each other. By the look on his face I didn't know if he was going to snap my neck or kiss me. Either would have been a blessing at this point in my life.
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"Krasivaya, Roza." ("Beautiful, Rose.") He whispered against my lips, kissing me with every bit of aggression and passion he held. Dimitri pulled his fist from the wall - finding my waist to lift me up so I could wrap my legs around him. Between kissing he would whisper apologies to me, becoming surprisingly aroused at the fighting, and the kissing and the regret in his words. "I don't blame you," his lips found my jaw, "..none of this is your fault," he continued, moving down to my neck. His eyes found mine again after a few minutes. "It's to hard to see you..., to love you..., after everything that happened." He didn't give me much room to reply but that was probably a good thing - more than likely I would just ruin the moment.
All I could do was moan my response as he leaned into me. There was no coming back. Dimitri had lost the battle. I put my weight into him - luckily he was off guard enough to stumble backwards into the bed, groaning as I advanced on top of him. His hands slid up and down my back - holding me against him as we kissed; he couldn't deny me anymore - especially when I sat up and removed my top in one quick movement. He watched me quietly - studying every move as I began to unbutton his shirt and move it off his shoulders. He didn't stop me when my fingers found the button to his jeans and then the zipper. Dimitri was holding his breath while he watched me - I had waited for this moment ever since we'd left the cabin. It felt like a lifetime ago. Just as I began to unzip his jeans his hands found mine, "Roza."
Our eyes locked and my hands began to tremble. "Are you sure this is what you want? After everything that's happened?" Dimitri sat up - now face to face with me - my hands trapped between us. He'd never looked more amazing to me and I was almost afraid that I'd somehow ruin this perfect moment so I said the only thing I knew when it came to Dimitri.
"All I want is to be with you."
He took my words in - never letting his eyes fall from my own before he kissed me - softer then before - pulling me down to him. He was far more skillful then me - removing the rest of our clothes faster then I could have imagined. Without hesitating he was inside of me and we were back in the cabin at The Academy and we were in love and everything was perfect in the world. For now.
TBC...