hope you like this :):)

I will now spend a short period of time to rest, recharge my batteries before contemplating my future
~Harry Redknapp

Unfair

"Hey, you leaving already?" Meredith called as she noticed a particular brunette nee redhead walking to the exit of the Emerald City Bar,

Addison Montgomery turned, "I have a plane to catch," she explained, making to leave, but then she turned in her tracks and walked slowly over to the apparent ex-girlfriend of Derek's whom she had hugged this morning. "I walk on the beach now" she said calmly, "I buy aromatherapy candles, I'm very Zen," she smiled, "but I want to kick your ass so much right now it is killing me."

"Excuse me?"

"I'm talking about Derek," Addison told her, "Derek. Christopher. Shepherd. Are you letting him get away? Because I swear to God Meredith, if you let him ride off into the sunset with that doe-eyed little thing-" She stopped, took a breath and walked away, she had made her point.

Meredith looked after her, tapping her table softly with her finger tips. Suddenly she couldn't control the urge she'd been fighting since hugging Addison this morning, and she chased after the other woman, once out side Meredith saw the brunette looking at her watch waiting for a taxi, she ran forward.

"Addison!"

Addison looked up and frowned as Meredith moved closer, "Yes?" she said giving Meredith a calculating look,

"The reason Derek and I broke up, is because I…" Meredith sighed, "Derek thinks I'm not ready. He told me about his hopes, he told me he wants to marry me but I'm not ready. He told me this after weeks of break up sex and watching him go on dates with awkward freaky girls like Sydney Heron. But before that we weren't…"

"You don't have to-"

"No I do." Meredith said, "I do, and I know it's weird but just hear me out, ok?"

"Okay,"

Meredith swallowed and took a breath, "Ok, so there was a time when everything between me and him, was amazing, was perfect. There was this one week where everything was just so clear. I had gotten over the fact that he was my boss, he had gotten over the fact he wasn't as charming as he thought, and my roommates had gotten over the fact that we kept them up half the night." Addison cringed but nodded, Meredith continued quickly, "He brought me to his trailer for the first time and told me what he thought I had earned to know. About him self I mean. He told me about his sisters and his motorbike accident and his mother's maiden name and his favourite things. In this very cute speech he forgot to mention his wife."

"Meredith-"

"I'm not finished." Meredith sighed, "that week was full of perfect things, I didn't even care about the secret phone calls and pages he refused to answer, but then you show up and the next thing I know I'm begging him to pick me only to have it thrown in my face when he doesn't sign the divorce papers and you move into his trailer."

Meredith sighed, "He broke me. And I became damaged, I slept around and got drunk and broke George and replaced him with a dog I ended up giving to him. I complained about his McWife stealing my McDreamy and my McDog and living my McLife and I put my hand on a bomb and I saw Dylan die. And then I met Finn and things were starting to look up. Because Finn understood me, and he told me about his wife and her car accident and we birthed a horse. It was amazing and I started to feel right again, until Derek finds out and calls me a whore and we end up ignoring each other and then you yell how you're not me and I realise that you were jealous of me too."

"Meredith this is becoming-"

"Please Addison."

Addison looked into Meredith blue eyes and saw they were glistening with tears, she felt a stab of pain in her heart and sighed, "Okay. Okay finish the story."

"Thanks." Meredith wiped her eyes and continued, "Derek refused to stop looking at me and then Prom… I hate my self for that, I deserved that panties thing, God I deserved so much worse, really, you should have thought of something worse, like, I dunno, put missing posters up through the hospital for them or something. Any way, then I stupidly and slutily dated both of them and chose Derek only to have him through it in my face and 'let me go' and be men of the mountain with George and Burke while McSteamy flirted with me every chance he got."

Addison laughed and Meredith managed to smile slightly before continuing.

"And when I got back with Derek everything was tainted. He had lied to me, hurt be and broken me before, and I had stopped trusting him. And because I didn't trust him I… I drowned myself."

"You drowned yourself? You mean that was actually- you actually did that on purpose?"

"I was pushed into the water by a patient and I fought, I swam but then I had a thought. I had a thought about my father leaving me, my mother never loving me, and I had a thought about Derek and you. I thought about how hard it had been to come back form that, and how badly I'd been burnt and I thought 'what's the point?' and I stopped fighting, I stopped swimming. I drowned. And from then on Derek felt like he had to breathe for me, protect me. I became something fragile and he treated me like a charity case. And because this has already gone on for to long I'll cut the rest short. I healed and opened myself up to him again, he retreated from me and told me he couldn't breathe for me and asked me to set him free. Burke left Cristina and I felt like there was no hope. So I left him. At least that's what everyone thinks anyway."

"What?"

"That's what people think. That's why we broke up, to him, Cristina, Mark, Izzie, Rose. But it's a lie."

"What then?"

"The truth is," Meredith said, "The truth is I knew I could never trust him, but I also knew that he would never make the same mistakes. And even when I knew I didn't love him like I used to, that I wasn't in love with him I stayed and I settled. Especially when I started to realise who I actually wanted, who I actually felt something for. The person who I would happily settle down with, rather than Derek, who I was settling down for," Meredith sighed, "The person I was falling for."

"You're with someone else now too? Who is it?" Asked Addison, "Oh! Are you back with Finn?"

"No. I'm not back with Finn and I'm not dating anyone at the moment." Meredith smiled, "I never acted on my feelings."

"Why not?"

Meredith laughed, "They would never be returned, and besides, the person I was falling for left Seattle before I had a chance too."

"Not Burke?" Asked Addison and Meredith burst out laughing,

"God no! Jesus Addison, I would have thought you'd catch on quicker then that."

"Well who else has left Seattle apart from me and Burke?" Asked Addison,

"No one."

"But you just said-" Meredith gave her a look, "Me?"

Meredith smiled, "You're very easy to fall for Addison. I mean you're hot, so there was always that. And then you're a doctor, a surgeon, very good at what you do, the best in fact. You have great methods of teaching and you're a great friend. You save babies for a living; do you know how amazing that is? And how inappropriate it is that that turns me on?" Meredith grinned, "You're a catch, and I have no idea how Derek ever managed to ignore you. You've been gone for months and I still think about you everyday. But you know what they say; absence makes the heart grow fonder."

"Me? You're in love with me?" Asked Addison, "Seriously?"

Meredith laughed, "I told you my feelings would never be returned."

"I can't believe this" Addison muttered, "I really can't believe this. I mean I move to L.A. so I don't have to watch you with him, and you're in love with me the whole time?"

"What?"

"I left because it hurt to see you with him." Addison said forcefully, emphasising her words,

"Wait." Meredith said, "You actually… You're saying you have feelings for me too?"

"Yes."

They stood in silence until Meredith smiled slightly, "Cool."

Addison laughed and shook her head, "So, what do we do now?"

Meredith smiled devilishly, "We make use of your hotel room, then contemplate how unfair it is that you live in L.A."

"That sounds like fun," Addison grinned, "Do you have your car?"

"I do."

The two women walked through the parking lot to Meredith's car, they drove to the Archfield and Addison led Meredith to her room on the fourteenth floor, 1423.

"It's smaller then the room I lived in while I was here before," Addison said, "But it is nice."

"It's amazing," Meredith grinned, "I love it."

Addison smiled and closed the door, making sure she put the Do Not Disturb sign up first. When she turned around she found Meredith sitting on the edge of the bed, toeing off her shoes.

Addison moved forward and stepped out of her own shoes before climbing onto the bed; Meredith smiled and kissed Addison softly, causing the brunette to immediately moan softly. Gently and slowly the two rolled back onto the bed and pulled at each others clothes, until perfectly they were making love, or rather, Meredith was making love to Addison, who yelled out, swearing and cursing, her fingers digging into Meredith back as she clutched at the younger woman, her orgasm rippling through her senses.

Meredith laughed, she couldn't help it, she just laughed in pure happiness. Addison, however did not laugh, she glared.

"Stop laughing."

"I- I-" Meredith tried to speak, "I c-can't sto-op!" She laughed as she rolled over, off Addison's body, "I can't stop."

"Stop laughing!"

"You came in French," laughed Meredith, tears in her eyes, "You came yelling and swearing in French,"

"I like French, it helps me." Addison defended, but Meredith burst into new laughs and Addison hit her with a pillow, "Shut up!"

Meredith tried to stop herself, she rolled closer and held Addison, "Ok- ok, I'm sorry. I'll stop." She stoped lightly out of breath,

Addison smiled and kiss her softly, "Thank you."

"Don't you mean 'merci'?" Meredith asked, starting to laugh again,

"Meredith!"

Meredith smiled, "I'm sorry," She kissed Addison, "I'm sorry. It's cute, really, but is it going to happen every time?"

Addison turned her head away, "I'm not talking to you."

"Addison,"

"Not talking to you."

"Oh," Meredith said with a smile, "Well then, I guess I'll go, hey maybe Mark will want to-"

Addison rolled them over and pinned Meredith to the bed, "That's not funny."

Meredith smiled, "I know, but it got you on top of me, so that's an added bonus." She pulled one of her hands free from Addison's grip before pulling the redhead down for a soft kiss, "I-" she bit her lip, "I wasn't going to say this, but I guess I kinda already have so I'm just gonna say it. Ok?"

"What?"

"I love you."

"I love you too." Addison said, with a sad smile,

Meredith kissed her deeper, "I wish you hadn't moved," she mumbled against Addison's soft lips,

"Me too," Addison replied, "I blame you,"

"I hate you," Meredith muttered,

"You love me."

Meredith kissed her softly, "I do," she whispered, "I love you. But that doesn't mean I don't hate you."

Addison laughed, "I love you too Meredith, I love you a lot."

Meredith looked into Addison's honest eyes, unlike Meredith's dull grey ones Addison's eyes were crystal blue an completely intoxicating, "Oh Addison," Meredith murmured, "You're too good for me,"

Addison smiled, "I think you're confused," She whispered with a grin, her eyes sparkling, "It's you who's too good for me."

"Make love to me." Meredith breathed, "Please Addison, make love to me now."

Addison smiled and kissed Meredith softly, "Come here,"

They rolled over once more and Addison position Meredith to straddle her body. They started it with a kiss, a kiss that quickly escalated past gentile and loving to passionate and desperate.

Addison kissed and touched Meredith, her hands and mouth teasing Meredith's breasts as the blonde straddled her lap. At every flick or kiss to one of her sensitive spots -the nape of her neck, her bottom lip, just below her right ear, her breasts- Meredith's hips would buck, and grind into Addison's thigh and she would moan deeply and gasp and scream as Addison teased her slowly but surely.

Addison made sure she brought Meredith close, so close it was like Meredith was walking on a high wire and if she fell, Meredith's orgasm would rip through her; but every time Meredith lost her balance Addison would retreat and Meredith would whimper, unable to fall without a small push in the right direction.

"Addison," moaned Meredith, "God Addison, please. Please."

"Please what?" Addison whispered, as she kissed Meredith's shoulder, "Tell me what you want,"

"I want –God- I want you. I want to feel you." Meredith gasped, "I want to feel you inside of me,"

Addison smiled and pressed a soft kiss to Meredith's pleading lips, "Ok," she whispered, "Ok," Addison's hands moved down Meredith's bare sides, she lifted Meredith's hips away from her own thigh causing a whimper to leave the back of Meredith's throat. Addison chuckled, "I don't have a penis Meredith, I need room for my hand."

Meredith nodded blindly, her arms snaking around the back of Addison's head. Addison smiled and gladly kissed the skin before her, her lips burning trails across Meredith's skin as one of her hands, moved south and two of her fingers slipped into Meredith's hot entrance.

Meredith gasped, her head falling back, "Addison! God, oh yes, Addison,"

Addison herself gasped, Meredith was thrusting down on her hand, causing her fingers moving deeper inside the blonde with each thrust. Addison's spare arm wrapped around Meredith's waist in an attempt to prevent her lover from breaking her wrist in this awkward position,

Meredith whimpered, her hips bucking more violently but to no avail. Addison let her teeth graze Meredith skin as a third of her fingers slipped into the blonde.

"God, I'm going to- I'm almost-" Meredith's words couldn't be finished, her train of thought unable to be sustained in the current circumstances,

Addison moaned into Meredith's chest, and her thumb moved up and pressed against Meredith's clit- and Meredith dived off the high wire and fell into her orgasm with a great crash, her hips bucking down to much for Addison to prevent, her whole body flexed out and with a spasm Meredith screamed out unable to form a word. A gush of liquid escaped Meredith's body and flooded the two women's thighs and Addison's hand. Addison smiled and held Meredith's as she rode her high through.

Slowly, Meredith's body relaxed and she lowered off her knees, her arms loosening, and falling to the back of Addison's neck. Addison lent forward and kissed her once softly, her hand slipping from the tight space between their bodies, her fingers glistening, almost her entire hand wet.

Meredith blushed but Addison just grinned, "So are we making more use of the hotel, or are we going straight to the contemplating?"

Meredith laughed, "I think… I think contemplating can wait."

Addison grinned "I think so too."

END