Grip It
[Post-Konoha Destruction]
Kankuro stepped into the kitchen to find Temari on the floor, being choked by the sand that was wrapped around her neck.
Gaara's fist was clenched as he stood over her.
"Shit…shit." Kankuro had no words for what was happening. This…was something that most people would see in a horror film, or in their nightmares, but this was…something he had dreamed about over and over again, every single damn night since he remembered seeing that for the first time.
Gaara snapping and killing both of them, slowly, painfully, in every sick and twisted way imaginable.
The dreams were becoming reality…
He thought hard, and he thought quickly. What could he do? Temari was going to die if he didn't do something.
"Do you…want to die, too? Or would you rather watch…"
The older girl was clawing at the hardened sand that formed around her neck. Her feet hit the floor over and over as she tried to get herself free. Her breath was shortening quickly.
"Gaara…don't do this, please. Temari's been the one taking care of us for the past while. You can't just-"
Gaara stared at him with unbridled fury. "I can do whatever the hell I want. You think you can fucking stop me?"
Kankuro suppressed his own rage, just barely. This guy was…goddammit, they were all nearly fucked now.
"Shit…Temari…"
Her chest was heaving as she felt her windpipe closing off. Her fingertips were leaking blood as her attempts to get the sand off became more desperate, legs still flailing, tears running down her face in torrents. The gasping became louder, more violent as Gaara took up the pressure bit by bit.
Kankuro cursed a storm under his breath as he struggled to think of something, anything.
"Gaara…I need to know what you want…I need to know the problem…"
"The problem? The problem? The problem is all of you sons of bitches! The problem is all of you fake fuckers surrounding me! I want all of you…I want all of you fucking dead!"
Temari felt herself dying, ever so slowly. Her vision was going, almost gone now. She flailed helplessly, her fingers bloody and nearly useless. Her strength was almost gone, and now her body started to shudder violently.
Kankuro flipped through his mental index as fast as he possibly could…time…he needed time…he didn't have any…
He felt his face start to burn. Gaara wasn't going to stop…
Temari…God, no…
Temari stood outside, feeling the cool night breeze come over her. And with the question still ringing in her head…
What the fuck just happened?
It had been like that for a few weeks, now. The Chunin Exams were now over, the Konoha invasion had been a failure, and everything was a big mess in Suna.
She could care less about any of that. What she worried about was Gaara.
He had lost. Even after he transformed and managed to fall asleep…he had still lost. To one guy.
"Uzumaki…Naruto." The name was practically inscribed in her mind. At first, she thought he was mentally deficient or high on something, but after seeing him do what he did…damn. She wanted whatever he was smoking.
That Uchiha Sasuke had looked impressive as well, being the first to actually wound Gaara with that lightning attack…but it was that Naruto, who had been the underdog the entire time, he caught her attention somehow.
Beating that kid with the ninja dog, then beating that so-called genius Hyuuga Neji with pure will…and finally, stopping Gaara's rampage on his own. Even when he was out of chakra, he dragged himself towards Gaara with his chin…talking about protecting the ones precious to him. Doing whatever it took to keep them safe.
All that heart…and all that will…he was also a Jinchuuriki, like Gaara, but…he had found people to call his own. And with that, he had gained a special power.
How did she know? She felt it, full force…when she saw him fighting, with every ounce of chakra he had. That power…to make you believe in him, that everything would be alright.
"Gaara…did that power reach you, too?"
He had said those words…
"Kankuro…Temari…"
"I hope so…I really hope so…"
"I'm sorry…"
She really did want to believe, now.
"Hey."
"Hey, Kankuro."
"Think fast."
She snatched a bottle of juice from the air in front of her.
"Thanks. So you couldn't sleep either, huh?"
"Not a wink…damn, this is depressing."
"What is?"
"Ah…just life in general. Well, I shouldn't say depressing…bittersweet, maybe."
"Hm. I guess I can understand that." She sipped her juice slowly.
"You heard about him, right?"
"…Yeah."
"You okay with…what happened? How he went?"
"No…but I don't believe I'd be satisfied with any result that didn't have me killing him myself."
"I figured."
"You hear anything from Konoha?"
"Yeah…I talked to that Nara guy a while back."
"Ah, Shikamaru, right? How is he?"
"He should be fine. He's getting promoted."
"Hm. Good to know…"
"Anyways…we somehow ended up talking like old friends…it's messed up in a way, I mean, we're partially to blame for their Hokage dying and all. But he mentioned something about the reparations."
"Yeah? How much are we in the hole already?"
"Couple billion, at least…"
"How much do they want?"
"Nothing, last I checked."
Temari was surprised. "The hell? Don't joke about that."
"I'm serious. Konoha doesn't want a dime from us."
"That…doesn't make any sense. Why would they do that?"
"Shikamaru said there was a leak on Suna's finance information. Konoha knew we were screwed already after failing the invasion, and we were already falling apart beforehand. So…they said screw it."
"Huh. Good news, then."
"Yeah."
"But I guess they'll be back on their feet soon enough…place is full of nutcases anyways. Heard these guys while I was shopping yesterday…wouldn't shut up about how this green Konoha jounin was punching people through walls. Maito Gai, Konoha taijutsu expert."
"You remembered that?"
"I was actually paying attention. You know about Sharingan no Kakashi?"
"Heard of him. Why?"
"That Uchiha kid's and Uzumaki's sensei."
"Damn, you mean the white-haired guy?"
"That's the one."
The two talked about various things that happened while they were in Konoha…Neji being a total jerk, Shino blowing Zaku's arms apart, Ino and Sakura knocking each other out…the time spent in the Forest of Death, the written examination, and that bald guy with drill holes in his head…
It was two or more hours before they ran out of things to talk about.
Actually, there was one more thing…but neither wanted to go into it. Temari, however, forced herself to address it.
"Hey…do you think that Gaara is…"
"Is what?"
"Is he…really changing? I mean…even though he said what he said…"
Kankuro sighed. "I really don't know…I just don't know."
"I want to believe that he's changing, somehow, you know? I feel like...there's hope somewhere."
Kankuro thought back to events past. "Maybe…" He couldn't put that much confidence in a change like that…not yet, anyways.
It seemed way too soon right now.
"I'm gonna grab some shuteye," he said.
"I'll…be a while."
"Alright. See ya, Temari."
"Yeah, sleep well, Kankuro."
He smiled. "Honestly…you're really turning into an old woman, aren't you?"
"I wish…"
The cool night breeze swept over her once more.
Hope…
Kankuro, Temari, and Gaara were promoted to Chunin status a few days later…it was also the day of the Yondaime Kazekage's funeral.
Temari felt the sun shining through her window, as it usually did. She got up, went to the kitchen, and-
"Wha…?"
Sitting in the kitchen by himself was Gaara. He looked up at Temari for a few moments before he got up and started to leave, not letting their eyes meet again.
A quick pause, and then Temari felt herself reach out and grab Gaara by the arm.
Grab Gaara by the arm?
Grab…Gaara?
She looked down at her hand, and then Gaara's arm. Where was…?
"Is there something you need…Temari." Gaara said flatly.
Her heart thumped in her chest. What was she feeling? Excitement? Sorrow? Anger?
What was it?
"Why are you leaving? You're allowed to stay here," she said nervously.
"…"
"Gaara?"
"I…can feel you shaking, Temari."
He was right. She was trembling as she held his arm, expecting something horrific to happen…
"I don't need…any more problems."
He pulled away from her as the sand shield appeared, and he left the kitchen.
That was…surreal.
Whatever the hell was going on…Temari didn't know if she liked it, or welcomed it, or despised it…was Gaara trying to tell her something?
Temari looked in the refrigerator, and noticed a few things were needed. An idea came to her.
Maybe…this is my chance.
"Gaara? I'm going shopping right now…we need things for the house."
She found him sitting on the couch, staring at the blank television screen.
"Would you…like to come with me?"
"…"
Well…it was worth a shot, right?
"That's okay, then. I'll leave you alone."
"…List…"
"What was that?"
"Is there…a list?"
"List…oh, the list! I was going to make it just now."
"…I'll do it."
"Uh…" She was a bit unsure about it, but…it looked like he was really trying.
"Okay. I'll get you something to write on."
Gaara made the first part of the list, while Temari looked over it to see if there was anything missing.
"Huh…he got everything…even a few things I'd forgotten about."
He was really observant, then…but she could probably guess that it was because of all the assassination attempts over the years.
"Well, time to go. Um, Gaara?"
"…"
"Are you ready to leave?"
"…Yes."
"Alright…"
They said nothing else to each other as they made their way to the market.
"Then…it seems…you both will have a use for the next while…"
Gaara turned and walked away. "If either of you get in my way…you're dead."
"Yeah…we understand."
Temari slowly got up and looked at Kankuro.
"Hey, Temari…we made it."
In that moment, she grabbed him and held him tightly, not saying a word, but sobbing uncontrollably into her brother's chest.
Gaara had spared them both on a whim, a fancy of his…until the mission was over, they were just his playthings…they could be tossed away or crushed at any time…
This was what hell truly was…and Kankuro didn't know if he could endure anymore.
Meanwhile…Gaara contemplated Kankuro's words. He also wondered about his reasons for staying…Temari's as well…they both could have left him at any time, but…
Everyone fucking hates you, Gaara.
"They're here…with me…?"
Why the hell was that?
Gaara angrily shook the thoughts out of his head. None of that mattered…all he cared about was getting to the exams and fighting the shinobi there…hopefully he would feel alive once more.
Because…when he started on Temari, his chest started to hurt…
"That's a coconut…it's got water inside that you can drink out of it."
"Coconut…"
As they reached the market, it occurred to Temari that Gaara had never been inside of one before. Seeing his face when they got there was…kind of cute, in a way. He'd stop and stare at different things, like food, plants, and things of the sort. Temari stuck close to him and finally worked up the courage to explain things to Gaara as they went along.
This meant that shopping would take longer than usual…but Temari didn't mind.
Kankuro had probably just woken up by now…whatever. He could make his own breakfast.
"It's…hard."
"Yeah. That's so it doesn't break when it falls from the palm trees."
"…I see."
She looked at him thoughtfully. "Want to get one, Gaara?"
"…"
"Gaara?"
"…It's not on the list…"
Temari smiled, and then took out the notepad containing the list. She wrote down 'coconut' at the end of the list, and then showed it to Gaara.
"Look, it appeared. Still want to get it?"
"…Yes."
"Good. We'll put it in the basket."
It's so strange…I always forget that he's still just a kid, even with all of the things he's done.
"Temari…"
"Yes, Gaara?"
Everyone hates you, Gaara.
"You're still afraid of me…aren't you?"
Why was he asking this all of a sudden? But as she turned her head, she understood.
People were making efforts to stay away from any areas Gaara was…there was no traffic anywhere near them at all. That old fear was still there…
She wanted to lie and say that she wasn't scared at all, but…she remembered that day when she had almost died by his hand. She remembered the look in his eyes.
"I…I'm sorry. I'm still afraid, Gaara."
"…I understand…"
He had a sad, dejected look on his face when he spoke. It was then Temari knew that he meant what he had said that day…he truly was sorry for the things he had done.
He…really meant every word.
"When you love someone, Gaara…you want to be brave for them. Love gives birth to courage, I believe."
"…" She was being brave by staying by his side, even though he scared her. Did that mean…?
"If I can be brave for a while longer…I think that I won't have to be afraid anymore."
He looked into her eyes.
"Do you…do you love me, Temari?"
No hesitation.
"I love you, Gaara…with all of my heart."
A flood of memories came into his head. With them came a certain voice…a voice that he had always obeyed.
Gaara…don't listen to her.
Why…not?
She's lying to you, like they all have before. You only need yourself…
But…she's been by my side for so long…why didn't she leave that time when I almost killed her?
Don't dwell on that. She doesn't care about you…she's probably still around because she has something to gain…that's the only reason…
No…
What?
That…doesn't make any sense…
Of course it does…
Then why did it hurt when I tried to kill her?
It was because of that bond with her… she's your family, after all. But…don't you remember what happened before, with someone else who was your family?
…
He betrayed you, saying that he loved you…
…
Tried to kill you…because your father asked…
…
Family…friends…loved ones…it's all a fucking sham…all of them are fake…
No…
Just getting close to you, getting into your head…
No…no…
And then treating you like trash, trying to toss you away.
No, no!
You're just a monster to them! An abomination!
No!
Everyone fucking hates you! They all want you DEAD!
Stop it!
They don't want anything to do with you! They don't care what happens to you!
That's a lie! Temari loves me!
Bullshit! She's still scared of you! Make her fear you again! Don't let her fuck with you!
I said to stop!
Kill her…she said she loved you, right? Was willing to die for you, right?
…Don't…
Right here…do it, she loves you, right? Right? RIGHT?
Don't…don't!
SHUT UP AND KILL HER! GET RID OF THE BITCH!
If it had been any other day, any other time, Temari would have moved, run away, screamed for help.
But as the sand started to cover her brother's body, distorting his features, she came to the realization that this wasn't any other day.
And in that moment, she stepped towards him. Almost immediately, a giant, veined arm knocked her to the floor and pinned her there, slowly and painfully pushing down on her chest.
Still she looked up into her brother's eyes…which weren't her brother's anymore. Had he really not changed at all? Was all of this just…a silly wish?
"Gaara…"
It couldn't be. It just couldn't be.
"Gaara, I'm going to be brave, okay? I won't…run away. I'll stay here with you."
"Shut up, you stupid bitch! I'll crush you right here!"
"I wasn't talking to you…"
"What the hell…are you going on about?"
"You're not Gaara…I can see that clearly now. I used to think you were one in the same, but now I know. Now I know that it was you that made him the way he was. I never understood what it meant to have a monster inside you, but now…I know a little bit, just a little."
"Shut! Up!" He applied more force to her chest, and it was becoming harder to breathe…
"He was so scared…so lonely…everyone thought he was a monster, but really…he was just a little boy, one who was so desperate for companionship that he'd turn to someone…no, something like you. And that, with all of the hatred he felt every day…that is what made him a monster, a murderer."
"I said! Shut! The! Fuck! UP!" He pounded on her chest to emphasise each word.
"Gaara's a good person…I can see it…now. I…" She coughed and gasped for air. "I know he's sorry, that he wants to know what it means to have people…who care about him! Who really and truly love him! That's why I'm going to stay here; even if I die…I'm going to be brave for him because I love him!" She was screaming at the top of her lungs, but didn't care who heard her.
"I love him, I love him, I love him!"
"You STUPID-! What…what is…!"
The pressure on Temari's chest eased a bit, and she saw why. The sand was crumbling away from Gaara's body, slowly but surely.
"I won't…I won't let you hurt my sister…"
"Damn you! Stop!"
"I won't allow it…because…I…"
"Don't say it!"
"I…I…"
"Don't say it! DON'T FUCKING SAY IT!"
"I love her!"
He wasn't going to lose her, not now…not ever.
"I…love…my sister!"
"NO! You don't, you don't, you-AAAAAHHHHHH!"
Just like that, all of the sand fell away from Gaara, and formed back into his gourd again. He was panting heavily.
Temari almost couldn't believe it. He had won.
Even if this was the only time he'd do it…he had won. He'd really won.
"I meant…what I said…"
She looked up at him from where she lay.
"I love you, Temari."
"Oh…Gaara…" She got to her knees as quickly as she could and hugged him tightly, smiling as tears came to her eyes.
"I really love you, too…"
They were like that for a few moments until Temari felt she was trembling a bit…but then realized that it wasn't her.
"Gaara?" She got a good look at the boy's face. It was wet with tears.
"I'm sorry…I'm sorry…"
"It's okay…it's okay. I'm here…I won't leave you alone. You won't be alone ever again, ever again."
Temari held her brother even tighter as he cried. This was the first time she had been so close to him…the first time she had been there when he cried…
It wasn't just a silly wish after all, was it? Hope was…a beautiful thing.
"Come, Gaara…we'll go home now. You can have your coconut there…okay?"
He nodded slowly, still clinging to her.
"Hm? A coconut. What's up with that?"
"It grows in…tropical regions."
"Why's it so hard?"
"To…protect it from high falls."
"Okay, okay. What's in it?"
"Water…among other things."
"Cool. You sure know a lot, Gaara."
"…She taught me." He pointed to Temari, who was in the kitchen.
The three siblings were home together, and for once, not totally on edge. In fact, the house was amazingly relaxed right now.
"Hey, I opened it! Come on, come on!"
"Alright, alright…I'm coming."
"…"
"Here, a straw for you, Gaara. Drink up."
"Where's my straw?"
"Eh…you can get it yourself."
"…Bitch."
"Takes one to know one."
Gaara sipped his coconut water peacefully as his siblings bickered. It was good.
"Temari…"
"Yes, Gaara?"
"…We need more coconuts."
She smiled. "We'll get some more soon, okay?"
"Okay." He went back to sipping his water.
He was so cute…Temari feared she would get a brother complex if this kept up.
"Oi, what about my favourite things?"
She gave him a dismissive wave. "Not important. Now move. I'm missing my soap operas."
"Hey, I'm watching something over there!"
"Sorry, you're in the minority, Kankuro."
Minority? The hell?
He marched over to the couch to find Temari lounging on it…and Gaara sitting beside her, drinking his coconut water.
"Gaara…you, too?"
"He likes these; I found that out the other day. Not to mention that this one coming up is a great find, I didn't even know it existed until I saw Gaara watching it one day."
"Yeah, but-"
"It's starting…shut up, Kankuro."
"Yeah…shut up, Kankuro." Temari echoed.
Whatever...he had things to do in his room, anyways. He ascended the stairs, stopping only to look at the two sitting together on the couch. He smiled.
"Looks like she was right…heh. I guess I can put a bit more confidence in you, Gaara."
Kankuro then disappeared into his room.
"Temari…"
"Yes, Gaara?"
"Do you think…he trusts me yet?"
"Ah, don't worry. He's already coming around."
"Are you…sure?"
"Yeah…very sure. He loves you too, Gaara…he's just too macho for his own good."
Was this what having a family felt like?
It felt…really good.