Mitchie's Reality
AN: Ok this is the scene after Tess get's Caitlyn and Mitchie in trouble for "stealing" her bracelet... be warned it's not what you would expect from a normal Camp Rock Fanfic.
Chapter one:
Mitchie's POV
Did that just happen? I thought things were going to get better for once... Yeah, well apparently not. It just so happens that life always likes to go against me. But this is the last straw; I don't think I can handle anymore. So with that, I took off out of the Kitchen and headed towards the lakes so I could think clearly...
Caitlyn's POV
And just when I thought the Tess drama was over... that goes and happens. Well to be perfectly honest, I'm not all that surprised. But that wasn't the issue here anymore. The issue is Mitchie. I think this is gonna get her down for a while, it was bad enough when her lie came out, especially when it came's to Shane's class and she sat at the back in the corner whilst Shane literally had a go at her. But this time... I dunno... it's like she's broken inside or something... I don't know why I feel like that, but I just get the feeling. Hmm maybe if I talk to her Mom and see what she thinks..
Mrs Torres' POV (or Connie's POV if you like)
I cannot believe that girl just did that. That is completely and utterly selfish. And I can see what it's just done to Mitchie... and it doesn't help that in a couple of days the start of her dark period starts. I saw the tears streaming down her face as she bolted out the kitchen. I take a quick look at Caitlyn and see that she's looking at me with a worried and questioning face. Perhaps I should explain a few things about Mitchie to her.
Mitchie's POV
I knew I was running, but I didn't care. I decided that before I head to the lake, I would run to mine and my Mom's cabin and grab my song book. I knew that when I got down, which was quite a lot due to my depression, that I would be writing a few songs. As I was running to the lake, I saw Shane walking around and that was all it took for my sob's to grow even louder. Eventually, I had made it to the lake and as I sat down I tried to quieten my crying down, which I managed to do, but I could still feel the tears streaming down my face as all the pain was becoming to much for me to handle and it felt like that the pain was trying to suffocate me. I knew I had to calm down or my asthma would go out of control as when I can't control my emotions, I have asthma attacks. Great. I thought that maybe coming to Camp Rock would change the way i felt about life, it turned out that I was wrong. This is real, this is me... I started to sing, and I couldn't help but feel that maybe this is me, and this was how my life was supposed to be. Yup, this is real and this is me, and life is turning out to be torture day after day. I was trying to think of some songs, but it was all turning out to be depressing poems:
Maybe escape;
In this darkest hour, darkest place,
Unwanted tears all down my face.
I see a small light, a glimmer of hope,
And slowly I learn to cope.
Then reality strikes and along comes pain,
Pain is the only thing that I seem to gain.
I can't trust anyone,
I'm all alone.
But maybe this is how it was meant to be,
Maybe I will escape one day, maybe, maybe...
But for now, I sit in the darkest hour, in the darkest place,
With unwanted tears falling down my face.
.
Yup I know, pretty depressing. My song book was also a diary/journal, so I then began writing.
Dear Diary,
I thought that coming to camp rock would change things for me, but I guess I was wrong. In a couple of days, my dark period is supposed to be starting. But this year I guess it's gonna start early. It happens every year at this time of year, but like I said, this year, it was going to start early, but I don't think I will be getting out of it this time, it's just too much pain. After the all Tess drama, and then Shane thinking I was lying to him, in fact he was the only one I wasn't lying to, well, ok he doesn't know I have depression and that every year I have a dark period, as I lost my best friend, I lost my cousin as she committed suicide. But that's the inner me, but he knew the old me, but he believed the lie and threw the good times that we had together in my face and that hurt, it hurt a lot. The pain is just too much to handle, I feel like I'm drowning in my tears, I feel like all the pain is trying to suffocate me. I should have guessed what kind of person Tess was as soon as I bumped into her that first day. I should have kept my guard up and realised that this world has cruel people in it. Cruel people like Tess, cruel people who caused my cousin to commit suicide. Diary, I don't know how much longer I can carry on like this. I've been able to hide the pain away from Mom and Dad, and yes while I don't let the pain get to me as much as the dark period, it's still there, day after day. I tried to get through it all and I thought that coming to Camp Rock would help me to start looking at life in a new light... boy was I wrong. No I can't take the pain any more; it's too much to cope with. I think it's time I end my life... maybe not right away, I have to find the courage and I have to find a way...and I know the last time I tried, it backfired, and I ended up in hospital. The only reason I need to find the courage is cause of my parents. The first time I tried, I got caught and my parent's gave me the guilt trip of how it would be for them if I died like that, or died so soon at a young age. But until I find the courage, I need to numb the pain and there's only one way of doing that and that's through self harming. There may be some lightness in my life like my parents, Siera and Caitlyn, but the majority of my life is full of darkness and I really can't take it for much longer...
After finishing with my diary entry and then putting it down beside me open with the pen in the middle of the page, I started to look for anything that would numb my pain. It was then that luck struck. I found a shape stone, and it was sharp enough to do what I wanted to do with it. So with that I grabbed the sharp stone and started to slip wrists. As I was slitting my wrists I started to sing this is me again...
I've always been the kind of girl
That hid my face,
So afraid to tell the world
What I've got to say
But I have this dream
Right inside of me
I'm gonna let it show, it's time
To let you know,
To let you know...
This is real, this is me,
I'm exactly, where I'm supposed to be now...
As I kept singing and slitting my wrists, I felt tears falling down my face. Maybe this is where I was supposed to be, maybe this is how my life was supposed to be...
Gonna let the light shine on me...
Yeah right, what light? This was me, and this is real, and life was a nightmare, a nightmare that I wouldn't be waking up from in a hurry. I heard a snap of a twig, and my head bolted upright coming face to face with someone I really did not want seeing what I was up to...
"Shane..."
"MITCHIE! STOP! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?"
And with that I bolted up and ran away towards the woods as fast as I could. Little did I know that in my hurry of trying to escape Shane, I had left my song book open on my dairy entry. It would be later that I would have realised this.
AN: so there you have it folks, that's chapter one, as you may realise, this is a dark story, with depression, mentions of suicide, self harming and sooner or later there will be some swearing, in fact I think in the next chapter, there may be some swearing. The idea of this story came last night when I was in another one of my dark moods and I was reading DevilPup's after the credits rolls sequels. The dark period and depression idea came from her stories. However, her stories are much happier (and brilliant), whereas mine are a bit dark and depressing. Right now I don't know if it's going to be a long story, and if it is or not, will it be a sad ending or a happy ending? Or will there be a sequel? I hope you enjoyed it so far, but you may have not. Why not leave me a review to let me know how you feel. The more review's I get the faster I will try and update. The key word there is try. You may guess from reading this story that I suffer from depression, so when I get down, it lasts a while, and I can't do anything, other than mope in my room and listen to depressing music. All the Happy Camp Rock stories were getting to much for me and I thought it was high time that someone wrote a dark one. I'm not using my depression as an excuse, but I need you guys to understand that I find it hard, I have two other stories that I have started, and I haven't updated those due to personal difficulties and writer's block, so understand that that may happen with this story. I don't want any sympathy about my depression, I just need you guys to understand that I will find it hard to update. I haven't come clean about my depression in my other 2 stories, and I hate myself for coming out with it now. Any way, i have a couple of question's for you guys; 1. How old is Mitchie in the first Camp Rock? For this, I've made it that she's about 15. If I need to change it then let me know. And 2. How do you spell Siera? Or is that right? Let me know, in review's or you can PM me if you want? On a final note, constructive criticism is welcome, but nothing too harsh! Oh and positive reviews and feedback will make me feel better about this story and will give me inspiration and will make me want to write more. Sorry about the long AN note, but I thought it would be best to get everything said from the start. Oh and i promise this is the final thing – read DevilPup's stories, especially the After the credit's roll and the sequels – they are really good! Review please – Peace.