"Every major decision I have ever made in this life
was done with you in my mind."
"Was that supposed to be
touching?" she asked, slim eyebrows drawing together as she frowned, confusion
on the brink of metamorphosing into insulted annoyance.
He was so much like the okashira she had grown up with, the
admirable leader who had effortlessly led the Oniwabanshuu from a barely
established age of fifteen. In her mind's eye she could see herself withdrawing
from the standoff, in such a willing way it was nearly like capitulating, and
simply letting things go the way it naturally should: his.
The slightest breath from a
passing zephyr bore a distant chill—winter was preparing to invade the land,
paint the grounds a shimmering white and strip the trees of green. She inhaled,
steeling her nerves as the cold air filled her diaphragm, easing the erratic
palpitations of her heart. Gazing into those ebonies of pure blue-black
stirring with worry, she wondered if he could hear the hammering in her chest.
If he did then he wouldn't
need to ask for answers.
The sight of his glacial, uncomprehending look made the lump in
her throat congeal, and without reason, she leant back and sent a staggeringly
harsh blow across his cheek.
Rooted in place, the man
kept his icily stoic face turned away.
He could feel the skin grow
warm before a stinging sensation overtook the heat and his cheek began to
swell. Time took its toll on whatever a person left aside, had discarded at
that point of time. The more precious it was; the harder it was to keep. It had
almost always turned out that way… But although he believed that to keep one
had to give, he never really understood it.
"No," Aoshi Shinomori
replied, turning to look at her. "I said it because I wanted you to know that."
She nodded slowly.
"Then I would like you to
know that, more than anything, I wish for your happiness. You didn't tell me
anything…"
He gazed at her frozen,
beautiful features, glowing with a pristine hue under the faint moonlight.
She'd always been a quick learner, he thought, smiling inwardly. Now she had
succeeded in beating him in his own game—setting up a physical shield of an icy
expression to deter anyone from reading further inside.
Yet he was a master in his
skills, and he knew how to counter such behaviour.
"Misao-…"
Going down on one knee, despite the fact that she
had already grown taller, he tilted his head back to look into her face.
It was only then when he saw
she was crying.
Translucent, beautiful coral green eyes shut,
lashes fluttering as she murmured, "Why?" A small,
cracked voice emerging amidst the cacophony of crickets, the whistling of the
swirling winds. Weakened with sorrow, exposed and hoarse, it was worlds apart
from the chirpy singsong tones she usually addressed others with.
"Why did you do all those
things?"
He could tell the terrorized
memories flooding her mind still induced a tangible fear, a trauma, a horror of
the possibility of losing one of her beloved. It was a wretched act, to force a
little girl to witness such evil. The two most important people in her
life fighting to kill each other. Now he understood. Betrayal, fear of loss—unredeemable
hurt.
Bastard…You ought to pay for committing such an act. Even if
she doesn't hate
you.
Her question hung in the
air, and between them the silence was a void—a vacant nothing that was yet so
painfully loud. She wanted a reason, something to believe in.
"What could have been so
important…"
It was true.
There was nothing to say. Revenge?
Hate? Denial? Or cowardice? He couldn't explain everything to her, and therefore to anyone; since she would never understand the psyche of a monster, then he
would keep her from it. His own mistake that had garnered a permanent incision
engraved across the chest, one that served to remind him of good and evil. That
was another lesson he had leant, albeit through the hardest way, from a fight
against Himura.
Protect
the ones you love, with everything you have.
"Gomen nasai, Misao," he
murmured, reaching forward to smooth her hair from her face. Closing his eyes,
Aoshi swallowed as his mind washed out with a flash of white.
Forgive me…
"Gomen…"
Then he brought her close,
cheek to cheek, and steadied her weight as her legs gave way. Both could sense
the moisture on their faces but neither could tell who really was crying. Crying
so, so hard. Gradually her jagged breaths grew calmer, and under his
unwavering, warm fingers the clenched muscles along her strong back loosened.
A new wind blew.
"Aishiteru."
Large, pooling ultramarine eyes were luminous before a flicker of
life sparked within them, and the truth sunk in. Suddenly
she jumped on him, pushing him back
