The Defeat of the Mary Sue

by Ailia Sparrowhawk

How Mary-Sue was defeated by the fanfiction writers! Poem, oneshot

There never was a fouler creature

Or sickening one to

Than a horrible monsters beast

Called a Mary-Sue

A long, long time ago

In the writers palace park

A black-hearted writer named dimwit

Was determined to make a dark mark

"I'll make a character so perfect

So powerful, sweet, and tall

That you'll have to love her

At her feet the men will fall."

And with an evil smile

She named her creation thus

Marianna Suetta

(Xena, in addition, a must)

So Mary-Sue set out

To make cannon characters act OOC

With that smile, the laugh, and her color changing orbs (1)

She would bring them to their knees

She conquer world after world

Harry Potter, Percy Jackson, FMA

She found Twilight and hated it so much,

She decided to kill it, yay! (2)

So then after time in space

She came across a particular world

Fanfiction dot net it was called

With authors by names of Mird (3)

"I'll go in, what the heck." She decided

And entered without a thought

Alas, she had made a grave mistake

It begun to undo what she had wrought

For as soon as she entered this strange little world

A gasp of shock and horror was heard

"It's a Mary-Sue!" they all screamed

Then gathered at the center of town

For you must understand, there's nothing more

Authors hate more than a Mary-Sue

Her perfectness is disgusting

She wreck cannon pairings to!

So all gathered together as one

The authors grabbed their cannon

The MARY SUE BLASTER 3000

It was quiet a dangerous weapon

The cannon let out a blast

And the attack hit her, full force

The Mary-Sue let out a horrible scream

And shattered to pieced of course

So the Mary-Sue was defeated

Canon characters stopped being her lovers

And all was calm and quiet

Till some authors goes and makes another

I couldn't resist that nod to one of my favorite authors, theretard5862.

I like the twilight series, but It's always fun to poke fun at it

Theretard5862 again!

It's not one of my best poems, but its okay in the humor department. Written in honor of theretard5862, Mary-Sue smasher extraordinaire. She also rocks in the angst, read He Was Right, or Ed's Nightmares and you'll see.