Disclaimer: Because the BBC owns them, we were denied SO MUCH Doctor-Donna kissage...
More than enough
These days, the Doctor was no longer afraid to fall asleep, the nightmares that had so often plagued him, particularly after the trauma of Midnight, now virtually disappeared.
The reason lay content in his arms, all softness and strawberries and periodic little sighs.
In a blissful, half dream-like state, he thought that maybe this was what heaven was like.
Donna, wrapped in his embrace, every part of her body touching every part of his, their linked arms resting comfortably under her breasts.
Just the thought of part of him being nestled in that exquisite curve made his pulse quicken, his blood pump a little faster.
Her smell, her feel… what she does to me even when she's sleeping…..
She stirred, as if to move away.
No, don't leave me, too soon.
"Where're you going?"
He pulled her closer, and with a contented sigh snuggled into her neck, taking the chance – every chance I can get - to press the softest of kisses there.
"Um, Doctor, I think we'd better…." she started.
"Think later. Cuddle now."
I'm nowhere near ready to be away from you. We've already lost so much time.
"Yeah, look, I don't have a problem with the cuddling per se, but…ah…perhaps we shouldn't be cuddling quite so….enthusiastically."
"Whadda you mean, so enthusi….?"
He felt his face grow hot with embarrassment as realisation dawned and he hurriedly moved his lower body away from hers.
"I'm so sorry. Must have happened after I feel asleep."
I was dreaming about you. And it was a good dream.
"Can't imagine why, I mean it's only me…"
What on earth is she talking about? Does she have any idea?
"What do you mean 'it's only me'? Exactly, it's only you! Therefore, entirely within the realms of possibility, in fact highly probable, that I would react to you just like this. I mean, particularly seeing you how I see you, it's not to be unexpected in the slightest".
Not one of my more eloquent responses.
"Don't be daft! I think that Dalek must have fried your head a bit."
She still can't see? How do I make her see?
"Did nothing of the problem is that you just can't see how magnificent you are."
He dropped his voice lower, seducing her.
"Not to mention incredibly sexy."
It worked. She was noticeably flustered.
"So tell me this then, Martin genius, how did I go from also-ran to the essence of magnificence in less than 24 hours?"
He saw right through the bravado to the insecurity and fear, and it just about killed him that his beautiful, fiery, compassionate best friend was still selling herself short, still so uncertain of her place with him.
That's partly my fault, he thought, grimacing inwardly.
But I'm going to fix it. And once I have, even in the midst of the darkest storm, she is going to feel absolutely safe and sure and protected, knowing that I will always be beside her.
He reached out to hold her hand and snake one leg in between hers, increasing their physical connection, even as he sought to bolster their emotional one.
"First of all, you're hardly an also-ran. And secondly, I think you reached 'magnificent' some time ago, I was just too caught up trying to recapture the past to notice what you'd become to me."
"Which is?"
His simple, honest answer flowed effortlessly.
"Everything."
It was not the answer she had been expecting, clearly; her reaction said she couldn't quite fathom his truth. He could see trepidation, tinged with hope, in her eyes as she searched for something, anything that would allow her to believe him.
"What do you mean, everything?"
His heart sank a little that his words were somehow not enough, that she needed further reassurance of what she meant to him, and his mind screamed what he wished he could tell her out loud.
I'm here with you! Rose is only metres away, down the hall somewhere, but I choose to be with you, I've chosen you! Doesn't that tell you something?
But he knew that Donna's words came from a place of vulnerability, something she had brought with her to the TARDIS that was there long before they had ever met, and he accepted it because it was part of what made her who she was and who she was to him. He wanted to beat himself up for all that he had done to feed that vulnerability, but knew that it wouldn't help; neither would frustration over how long it was taking for her to believe she was enough, more than enough for him.
The stakes were far too high for him to not give her the validation she so desperately sought. He sensed how overcome she was feeling, the swirling emotions and raw apprehension at how she was responding to him physically radiating off her in waves.
Donna, my darling, listen to my words and believe. Believe that my future starts and ends with you. That you are worthy and enough and precious beyond measure.
"Everything? My companion, my best friend, my comforter, the person who pulls me back and pushes me forward, who trusts me and believes in me and tells me what for."
"The person who wants to be with me. In every sense of the word. "
His small smirk was an attempt to lighten the mood, as well as convey the full extent of what he felt for her.
She gasped and stared, open-mouthed, at him.
Unable to resist, he kissed her then, passionately and urgently, as if her kisses were his very life force.
As they pulled apart, her breathless, flushed and heart pounding, he felt the hugest calm and peace wash all over him, knowing in that moment that there was nothing else he needed but to be with her, always.
Is that what you want too?
For he knew without a shadow of a doubt that he loved her, that she was a part of his hearts as much as he was, she was his hearts.
So he told her.
"Don't you see?"
"I love you".
At that moment, he looked deep into her eyes and saw something break in her, as if those words had unlocked some part of her heart that thus far had been hidden and off limits to him. In voicing what he felt, had known, since….probably since the day I first met her, he thought ruefully…..he had somehow created a space where she felt safe enough to let him in. To see her, really see her. And he felt insanely honored and privileged and awed and almost giddy with happiness.
But when she looked at him, he saw the nervousness she was unable to hide.
"Doctor, I'm scared."
Immediately he moved to reassure her with his touch, smoothing her face and hair, and then his mind, flooding her with calm, peace, acceptance and love.
"You don't have to be afraid, Donna", he said, unable to stop a hint of sadness colouring his eyes.
My strong, beautiful, fragile Earthgirl. Why did I hold back for so long?
"And you don't even have to tell me how you feel about things right now, I can wait, I'll wait for you. A hundred years, if I have to".
I really will. Because we belong together, the universe destined it.
He saw the tears well up, and used his thumb to wipe them away as they ran down her face, even as she drew in a breath, obviously on the verge of saying something important.
"I love you, Spaceman. God save me, but I love you".
The joy in his heart at her admission was so great that there was no way that he, wordsmith of a million galaxies, could have come out with anything remotely adequate to truly convey it. He knew then that there could be no greater contentment or fulfillment than this. His lips brushed hers with the lightest of touches in a silent prayer of thanks.
"And just in case I haven't made my feelings completely clear tonight, I need to tell you this: I want you. For always, and in every way. Whenever you are ready. I know now that I'm ready, and when you are too, we can take that next step together."
He brought her hand, clasped in his, up to his chest, to rest over his hearts, hoping they could convey the depth of his love and devotion, and all that they were and he longed for them to be to each other.
Partners. Best friends. Lovers.
"I don't want to rush you, or scare you, but I do need to be honest with you. That next step for me is commitment. To you. Forever."
He wondered if she understood what that meant, how much it meant for a Gallifrean man to say that to a woman. Knowing her and what he did about the customs of Earth, he was sure it was something of gravity and permanence for her too, what she had been looking for back when they had met for the first time, but had been so cruelly snatched from her grasp. Would she now be too frightened to go on the journey with him?
Her answer was perhaps not what he had been anticipating, but it was enough, for now.
"Can I think about it and get back to you?" She gave him a delicious, flirty smile.
"Weeelll, alright, but you think about what you're missing out on."
He couldn't resist adding a suggestive eyebrow waggle, earning himself a light slap on the arm.
"Shut up and come 'ere, you", she said, pulling him in for what turned out to be a very long and satisfying kissing session.
Definitely enough for now.