This is my first shot at a romance/angst story. It's also my most recent story, and I'm actually quite proud of this story. It's my third attempt at an Advanceshipping fanfiction, although the other two are just too bad to post up here. I really feel that I was able to put myself into this story. Anyways, I hope you all enjoy this!

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Pokemon (very fortunately for the franchise)

Always Behind the Scenes

A gentle breeze blew through the field, scattering dandelion seeds in a delicate dance. The fragrance of newly blossoming flowers hung on the air, its scent intoxicating. At first sight, the scene could be said to have been magical, or perhaps it was just the sunset, the beautiful red orb hanging lazily just over the horizon, tainting the twilight an eerie mix of lavender and fiery orange. But the young man who sat on the cliff overlooking the scene had no eyes for its beauty. His eyes were locked tightly on a certain coordinator, and the man she had chosen.

"Pika Pi?" asked the yellow mouse at his side. The young man smiled sadly, his eyes never leaving the scene beneath the cliff. "Chaaa…" the little Pikachu whimpered, his eyes reflecting those of his trainer. Padding softly over, Pikachu jumped into his trainer's lap, trying to snuggle into his warmth. The young man absentmindedly began to stroke the mouse's fur softly, his touch gentle. Pikachu gave a small sigh, his emotions matching those of the young man who he called his best friend.

"Drew, stop it!" the brunette coordinator squealed as the green-haired young man bore down on her, his fingers flying over her belly, sending her into paroxysms of delight. "Not until you surrender!" Drew laughed, continuing to tickle the brunette. "Come on, May, you know you want to!" "No! Never!" May shot back, her eyes filled with determination. With a mighty burst, she flipped the two of them over and began to tickle Drew instead. "Ack! No! Not this, May, not this!" Drew cried out between laughs as the two rolled in the fields.

The young man on the cliff watched the scene tensely. Upon seeing May fall to the ground, writhing about, he had suddenly tensed up, his right hand grinding into a fist, scraping earth from the ground. When she flipped herself and Drew over, he gave a sigh of relief, his shoulders sagging. Noticing the dirt in his gloved hand, he offhandedly shook his hand off. Pikachu watched his trainer sadly.

"Ash, you have to let go…" a girl's voice sounded from behind him. "Dawn's right, Ash. You really need to give her up," a young woman's voice chimed in. Ash continued to stare at the frolicking coordinators, not showing any sign of recognition. "Ash, Misty and I are talking to you!" Dawn huffed, clearly annoyed at her friend's lack of vivacity. "Come on, Ashy-boy, this isn't like you!" jeered another voice, this time of a young man. "Ash, I know it's hard, but you really need to stop thinking about her. She's already let you go. Now you need to do the same," a deeper voice added.

Ash remained silent as he continued to stroke Pikachu's back. Misty slowly walked over to the young man, sitting herself down at his side. "Ash, we're all worried about you. Gary and Brock are only saying it like it is. You really do have to let her go," she whispered. Ash simply stared, seemingly ignoring his friend's pleas. Growling, Gary stepped over, grabbing Ash's sweater by the lapels, wrenching the young man to his feet. "Ash! Snap out of it!" he roared, shaking the man repeatedly. "Gary, no! That's not the way to do things!" Dawn cried out, grabbing Gary by the arm. He let go, dropping Ash to his knees, stepping backwards as Dawn clung to his arm. "Gary, please… Not now," she whispered. Seething, Gary stepped back, grabbing Dawn's hand as he did so.

As Ash slowly turned back to the coordinators, memories began to flood his mind as mist slowly began to cloud his vision. The older man, Brock, walked over slowly, laying a hand on the young man's shoulder. Shaking his head, Ash cleared his eyes of the tears that threatened to roll down his cheeks, the memories too painful, too harsh to bear.

The two stood facing each other, awkward silence filling the clearing. After they had won the Terra Cotta contest together, Ash had pulled May aside, wanting to speak to her in private. Of course, being his friend, May had agreed. "Ash, what's up?" she asked, when they reached the clearing. Ash was silent, unsure of what to say. He had always had feelings for May, but it wasn't until recently when he finally realized them. She had always teased him for liking somebody, but never quite knew who the girl was. "May, you always wanted to know who I liked, right?" he asked softly. May gasped softly, the sudden realization of the situation hitting her. "Oh no…" she breathed.

"May, it's you…" Ash finished, his voice so low she could barely hear him. The two stood there, eyes staring straight at the ground. May didn't know what to say. She had always had the sneaking suspicion that Ash had feelings for her, but always chalked it to Ash being a good friend. Having it confirmed in such a definite manner came as a shock, one that she was not ready to receive. She liked having Ash as a friend, but nothing more, and nothing less. Her voice barely above a whisper, she began to talk. "Ash… I'm sorry…" She was cut off by Ash's raised hand. "It's… alright, May. I know you could never like me," he replied. "I guess I just wanted to let you know," he murmured. "I'm sorry, May. I don't know what came over me… I'm gonna go now…" "Ash!" she exclaimed, reaching for him. Ash didn't turn around, but spoke. "I hope we can stay friends…" With that, he stepped off.

In the weeks after his confession, Ash did his best to shake off the loss. He tried his hardest to be his old cheery self, and to be the friend that May deserved. But then, her work as a coordinator began picking up, and they began to spend less time together. Ultimately, May left the group to train as a coordinator in Johto, while Ash left for Sinnoh, where he met Dawn. Of course, Ash called May all the time, but every time he called her, she was always busy, or with Drew. Slowly but surely, the two of them began to drift. Luckily for Ash, his training for the Sinnoh League was distracting enough to take his mind off May.

Ash held the split ribbon in his hand, staring down at it. Misty looked on in despair as Ash's fist shook, nearly crushing the ribbon as he did so. Realizing what he was doing, he immediately released the half of the ribbon, his teeth gritted as he stepped back from the crushed pile of fabric. "Pika…" Pikachu sighed. Brock stepped over to the ribbon, picking it up and dusting if off. "Ash…" The young man swiped the ribbon from the breeder's grasp, holding it protectively. "Ugh, Ash! Snap OUT of it!" screamed Misty, bringing her hand across Ash's face in a loud slap. Sobbing, she collapsed onto Ash's shoulder. "This isn't the Ash we used to know! The Ash we know doesn't give up! The Ash we know always stands up straight… He's always there for his friends… He's not a coward…" she sobbed. Shoving her from his shoulder, Ash staggered backwards. "You don't understand…" he rasped.

"Don't understand? What're you talking about, Ash? Look at me!" shouted Brock, his temper finally snapping. "My life's been one rejection after another! But I'm still standing, because I KNOW that somebody's out there!" he shouted. Ash simply sagged, staggering backwards into a tree. "Ash, we're here for you…" whispered Dawn. "Pika pika!" added a sad Pikachu. Ash sank to his knees, the memories flooding back once more.

Ever since she had left for Johto, Ash struggled to keep his composure. He called her every day, always wondering what she was doing. But he started to lose her. When she came over to pick up the call, her face changed from a look of glee to a face of annoyance. She seemed to rush their conversations, as if she just wanted to get them over with. And she was always with Drew. Ash began to question himself. Was it because of Drew? Was he the one to blame for his troubles? Then, with a sad smirk, he chastised himself. He couldn't let another person take the blame for his own feelings.

Try as he might, though, he simply couldn't bring himself to ignore his feelings for her. Nearly costing himself a gym match, he moped about. His training began to reflect this change in demeanor. Realizing what was happening, he shook himself awake. His Pokémon needed him, and he needed them. He would accomplish his dreams, and show May that he really was what he said. He would show her that he was strong after all, and that he was able to stand up, despite any troubles. His new outlook pushed himself to the extreme limits of his abilities, finally earning himself first place in the Sinnoh League.

The Johto Grand Festival was to be held approximately a month after the Sinnoh League Conference, and as a result, Ash decided to find May. Together with Dawn, who had taken top 8 in the Sinnoh Grand Festival, Brock, Gary, and Misty, who had found them by pure accident, Ash headed to Johto. He would find May, and perhaps they could travel again. But he was too scared. Instead of cheering her on during her final contest, the one which would qualify her to enter the Grand Festival, he stood in the shadows outside the Contest Hall, watching her carefully. Unbeknownst to him, she actually knew that he was watching her. The mere thought of his actions brought a look of disgust to her face. Finally, he worked up the courage to confront her.

Her reaction left deep scars that followed him through Johto. "You're such an idiot, Ash Ketchum!" she screamed in his face. Tears fell from her eyes like tiny diamonds, shattering on the leafy earth. Whipping about, May ran from the clearing, her sobs still sounding in Ash's ears. "M-may…" Ash whispered, sliding to his knees in despair. Staring after her retreating back, Ash was engulfed by silence. Then, sobs sliced through the air. Tears rolled from his eyes, drenching his shirt and watering the earth. His shoulders racked with heaves as he cried his heart out. He was all alone…

Afterwards, Ash simply watched from the shadows as she travelled through Johto. His companions followed him out of concern for his wellbeing.

Ash stared out at the young couple, slowly falling on all fours. The memories proved too much, and his resolve shattered. Ash clutched the half of the ribbon to himself as sniffles gave way to sobs. His heart hurt like it had never hurt before, the confusion and pain causing him to suffer that much more. His friends, the ones who had been with him through thick and thin, stared on gloomily, knowing the pain that he was going through. Crawling over, Pikachu nuzzled the boy softly. "Cha…" he whimpered. Following the mouse's example, one by one, his friends slowly gathered around the broken boy, placing their hands on his shoulder, just as they had done when a certain coordinator lost in the Kanto Grand Festival. Stepping closer, they came together in a group hug, showing their support for Ash as he cried.

May finally sat down, exhausted from their frolic in the meadow. She was clueless to the scene happening not 30 feet away, on the cliff overlooking the field. "Oh man, I'm exhausted," Drew huffed as he plopped down beside the brunette. May stared up at the sky, captivated by the beauty of the sunset. Placing an arm around her shoulder, Drew sidled up beside her as she leaned into his chest. Rummaging around in her pack, she pulled something out. "Hey, what've you got there?" asked Drew, curious. Holding out half of a ribbon, she watched as the sunlight glinted off the polished centerpiece. "Oh, nothing. Just something to remind me of a very good friend," she replied, before placing it carefully into her pack once more.

The group had slept outside that night, opting to stay on the cliff. Ash had finally cried himself to sleep. Watching over his trainer sadly, Pikachu stared out towards the young couple, sleeping in each other's arms. "Pika…" he sighed, before turning back to Ash. "Pika pika…" he whispered. The little mouse knew what his trainer was going through. After all, he and Ash were practically one. But the mouse was always the more practical end of the operation, the calm and collected one. Ash was always more emotional. Pikachu felt his trainer's pain. He had bonded quite a bit with May as well, and to see her leave like that left a heavy weight in his heart. But he also knew that Ash was a strong young man. He would rise up again, his old cheery self. It was just going to take some time. A painfully long time…

--

Ash woke up the next morning feeling completely refreshed. Looking about, he noticed a few things. For starters, they were still on the cliff. Dawn was sleeping in Gary's embrace, while Misty and Brock slept leaning against opposite sides of the same tree. Pikachu had fallen asleep curled up against Ash. Smiling, Ash stroked his little buddy's fur. Pikachu was always there for him, like the guiding voice within his soul. The gentle motions woke the little mouse up, and Pikachu looked up at Ash tersely. Seeing the first genuine smile on the young man's face in what seemed to be an eternity, the mouse cheered. "Pika!" he shouted, waking up Misty and Brock. "Wha-? What happened?" Brock asked groggily. At that precise moment, Dawn's head slipped off Gary's shoulder, jarring her and the young man awake. "Huh? Did we make it?" she asked sleepily before realizing that she was still on the cliff.

"Hey guys," Ash called out, a smile stretching across his face. Staring at the grinning trainer, his friends broke into smile and laughter as well. "Ash, are you back with us?" asked Misty, running over to her friend. Smiling, Ash replied, "Yup!" Dashing over, Dawn wrapped her friend in a tight hug. "Oh Ash, I'm so glad you're OK now," she squealed as Gary brought his palm up to his face with a resounding slap. "Glad that you got through that," laughed Brock as a tired Gary tried to pry a happy Dawn off his childhood friend. Finally, the friends gathered in a circle, Pikachu perched on Ash's shoulder, a smile plastered across the yellow mouse's face.

"I've finally figured things out. I'm not going to lie and say I've gotten over May, because I haven't. But I've realized that I've been going about things completely wrong. What matters is that she's happy, and that we're friends. That's what's most important! So, as her friend, I should be happy. After all, happiness is contagious, right?" Seeing nods from his friends, Ash continued. "I don't know how long it's going to take for me to finally get over my feelings for her, nor can I promise there won't be times that I'll be down. But I need to stand up, and be a person again. May wouldn't want for this to happen to me. If she sees me back to normal, maybe, just maybe, we can be friends again."

Ash sighed, having finally said his piece. Slowly, but surely, his friends gathered around him for one more hug. This time, though, it was one of jubilation rather than of sadness. Surrounded by his friends, Ash knew that he wasn't alone in this anymore. Brushing aside any thoughts of sadness and jealousy, he turned to his friends, returning the hug. He knew that the ties of friendship would be enough to overcome almost anything, and he knew his friendship with May would close up once more. He would continue cheering May on, but he would do it proudly and as a friend, rather than as the coward that he was before. After all, what were friends for?

Hopefully you all enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed writing this. Drop a review!