Fire And Ice
By Alexaviera Raven
Authors Notes: The idea for this came to me unexpectedly and I'm not sure which of my muses was screaming at me to write it more, Draco or Hermione. however I think perhaps it's Draco after all.. This is after all fan fiction and not strictly canon as the pairing isn't canon at all.
I would like to point this out before someone tells me that it didn't happen this way or that way.. In my mind it does and this is my story after all..
This story was originally an idea I had way back but yet to write it out, I hope it entertains someone.. Characters storylines are in their POV when noted.
Hermione is very Ooc here and Draco is too.. All Characters are actually!
Blaise in my mind looks like Gaspard Ullieu and for my story purposes he is my vision of Blaise Zabini..
This story is set in the summer after the fall of Voldemort ,Harry won and the wizarding world is safe for all.. All characters are of age of consent to have sexual interactions as well as to drink, At least in the wizarding world that is.
Hermione's family is royal in the muggle world and she deals with heartbreak,death,unexpected love, and finds out more about her life than she ever knew existed.
Basically HBP and DH ignored completely..
Please Read And Review.. Thank You Blessed Be!
Disclaimer:
Harry Potter is owned by JK Rowling and her publishers I do not own these people I wish I did I just own the situation they are in.. No Copyright infringement is intended.
Now on with the Story..
Fire And Ice
Some say the world will end in fire,
Some say in ice.
From what I've tasted of desire
I hold with those who favor fire.
But if it had to perish twice,
I think I know enough of hate
To say that for destruction ice
Is also great
And would suffice.
~Robert Frost~
Chapter One: Ice
It began a day like any other, it was a seemingly average mundane Monday morning as the sound of the alarm clock roused me from my quiet reprise. I groaned as I then hit the snooze button and prepared to go back to sleep. Back to my dreams where I had the sunshine on my face and I was happy. Back to when I was innocent and knew not a real care of the world. Back to when the world was whole and not to reality where it is all broken.
I sighed as I shook my head and rubbed my temples a moment in slight embarrassment. I could feel the rush of color, I could feel my face pale as reality came back again and hit me. I closed my eyes and for the moment placed a pillow over my eyes in a futile attempt to block out the world for a moment, To pretend the world had not ended. Visions, memories that haunted me came unbidden before my eyes and I just took a calming breath a moment trying to relieve the emotions it seemed that had faded now to reality of the day.
The sound of the incessant beeping of the alarm clock however lured me out of my self induced delirium. I sat up and turned off the interloper of my thoughts once more this time forcefully as I watched it soar across the room skidding on the hard wood floor and stopping with a slight thud in the corner of my room. I watched it however as it continued to glare at me red in a weird way if possible it was mocking me. I know that sounds odd and weird but from my prospective having just awoken from an dream that felt so realistic and such,a dream that felt so real but also so unreal.
In that mind set I would not have been surprised if the clock had screamed at me for throwing it yet again and then got up and even did a gig to get my attention. Nor would it surprise me as I had that thought for a moment I looked at the clock and saw it clearly in my minds eye only and I began to laugh. It was a foreign sound coming from my lips after all that had happened and I for a moment forgot everything but the stupid alarm clock.
Maybe I"m going insane? Maybe that's part of my penance.
So sad and pathetic that a bloody alarm clock amused me so. I realized this as I then got up to go and shower. I used my favorite shampoo. The scent of gardenia and rose permeated my senses and seemed to calm my inner maelstrom for the moment. If only it was that easy to wash away all of my problems.
I relaxed as I exited the shower and I wrapped my favorite old bathrobe around me making my way into my bedroom. As I went to my wardrobe I sighed and decided to wear something casual. I am so tired of wearing black. I feel like the color is entwining with my soul and for a moment I give into the pain, It's the only emotion left to tell me I am still alive.
I changed into a pair of silver skinny jeans and a green spaghetti string tank top. Silver heeled Minola's sandals completed the look as I made my way to my vanity and decided to try and do something with my hair. I tapped my wand and the hair fell down in waves straightened and just wrapped at the base of my tail bone.
Using my wand I curled a few pieces around my face and twirled my hair up into a French twist and then satisfied I frowned at my reflection a moment. When did I age so much I look old now and way beyond that of my seventeen years of age.
Today was the day I would go and get a full makeover. Normally I didn't care for the frivolity of getting my hair and nails done but I needed a change. I told myself as well as when September first came, Hogwarts would not know what hit them. I decided that this year I would be my real self no more just bookworm Granger.
I went down for breakfast. grabbing a cup of coffee I went to the balcony that overlooked the lush gardens of the manor. Relaxing for once it was nice to just look out to the garden and to just not think of something trivial or even the mundane as I sipped my hazelnut coffee and let it sit in my palms as I overlooked the rose garden. For a moment I smile despite the pain in my heart and I just try and not think of all the things that have happened as of late.
Yesterday had been the most difficult day of my life and I can feel the sting of unshed tears wanting to break free from my eyes. I hold them back though. I know that at this point the tears will not bring back those I lost and will not help them in the next world. It is taking all I can to get out of bed this morning despite my dreams weren't ravaged with nightmares this time. To face another day alone in this shell of who I am suppose to be.
But who am I really?
These thoughts trouble me as I know that I should continue on with school and then when I am done decide I still have time really. It will be a bit of time before I have to decide if I will accept the title or not. I know that my Parents..
My eyes water more as I think of them and just for a moment wrap my arms around my waist and try to keep calm. No more tears, I cannot cry anymore. I will finish school I will have the best last year of my life and then I will decide.
My life hasn't always been this complicated truly but the series of recent events have made it so that I am confused and hurt as well as I know that my parents..
Are dead.
They would have wanted me to finish school and that is why I am going back. That is the reason I am going to finish and try and make them proud of me. Even if it is closing another chapter of my life in doing so.
Again I will go off to school hopeful to keep the sorrow in my soul minimal to be able to carry on as what exactly as if they didn't die? To carry on because I am A Gryffindor and to face life head on with courage is what I am suppose to do? A part of me wishes I had been with them that day at the bridge, A part of me feels dead inside yet I know I need to go on, I have to live. Though I blame myself for their deaths.
That day things had changed in my life. All in that day all I believed in and knew as truth had died, all faded and became the pain inside me. All I was or am whoever that is, All vanished in a bottomless abyss forever as silent as the death that surrounds me. My heart betrays me with each beat, My lungs with each breath.
Now as I sit here and think on that moment I know I was expecting him to say different words then he said. I thought we were happy together after all. I expected a proposal any day now , What a deluded fool I was truly. How I was a fool to what exactly want love,want happiness?
Flashback
I was at the Burrow with Ron when he told me he wanted to talk to me. We were holding hands as he walked with me to the meadow behind his house. I looked at him I was happy Ron was my love, We were happy together, Gotten together after the War. I remember the look in his brown eyes as he seemed to be nervous and a part of me froze wondering what he was trying to say. Then a part of my heart stopped as I wondered if he was going to...
"Hermione, I want us to just be friends, the truth is as wonderful as our relationship has been."
Ron had taken a breath and then he continued as if it was hurting him and I still despite him breaking my heart wanted to comfort him.
"I'm not in love with you,not the way that I was in fact I realized I do love you but not the way a man and woman does. I know that I would like to stay friends since well your like a sister to me and all."
I felt like my heart was ripped from my chest as he explained that he was not in love with me, that he was in love with another woman. I nodded and just tried not to cry as I let the news sink in. I just nodded and told him I was ok that I was happy for him when in truth my heart was shattered in a milion pieces and he seemed to be tramping them further when he told me.
"Thank you that means a lot considering I know you don't like Lavender but I know that what we feel for each other is real Hermione."
I walked away from him that day and towards the house. I just walked woodenly through the kitchen not even stopping to look at Mrs Weasley and went to the Fireplace and threw in some floo powder. I stopped a moment to look at the green flames before stepping in. I looked around the living room memorizing it knowing this would be my last visit to the Burrow as I said in a strong voice.
"Granger Manor"
End Flashback
When I arrived I got the telephone call. My Parents were dead and I just sat there staring at the phone wordlessly as I just then regained my motion and threw the phone at a wall and finally I was able to breakdown and cry. To cry over Ron, my parents it came out all of it as I just shook from the pain and the knowledge that nothing would be the same again.
I am to be Head Girl this year, I hope that it will keep me busy to not think about it, think about anything at all.
I am of course happy to be Head Girl it's an honor that I have worked towards a very longtime now and deserve. It means also that I will not be around Ronald anymore. As sad a fact that the girl I was loved him completely, that girl is now dead. She grew up she had to and now she is I and I hate him now. I hate he can move on without me so easily.
He wants to be my friend? Please like I need him hanging out with me anymore to remind me of the happiness I can never have as well as all he'd want is to copy my homework. I am tired of being used by him and Harry.
Harry I love like a brother, I will miss him. He will just have to accept that there will no longer be no mione around. Everyone I touch dies or leaves and I won't do that to Harry to watch him die or wait for him to leave. I will not go through this again. I shalt survive it if I had to.
That's when I decided I will never fall in love again, That I will never let someone into my heart again. Love is painful word to me now. Love is pain and sorrow and I have enough of that to last me a lifetime. If that is love I, Hermione Jean Granger do not want any part of it at all.