PROMPT: What went through Beckett's head when Castle said, "She's fun and uncomplicated. I think that's what my life needs right now" at the end of 4x20.
RATING: T
WORD COUNT: 875
DISCLAIMER: And still not mine. Drat!
"She's fun and uncomplicated. I think that's what my life needs right now."
The words raced through Kate's head as she watched him walk towards the elevator, away from her and towards Jacinda. (What the fuck kind of name was 'Jacinda' anyway?)
Uncomplicated.
Something she definitely was not.
She sunk into her desk chair.
No, she had "complicated" written all over her. In black permanent marker stamped across her forehead in big, bold letters.
But here's the thing about permanent marker: it's not actually permanent. Over time, it fades to gray, then washes away completely. The bold lettering, first appearing after her mother's murder, had been redrawn each time she got close to her mother's killer only for her lead to blow up in her face, leaving behind a fresh stain of ink that would slowly being to fade over time. Especially since Castle appeared in her life. He made them fade faster.
And then she'd been shot. Of course, that had made the letters reappear with a vengeance, stubbornly refusing to fade at all until she'd admitted that she needed help and crawled back to Dr. Burke, begging him to fix her.
"Only you can fix you," he'd said.
She hadn't believed him at first. Only you can fix you? What kind of crap was that anyway? She was paying him for that?
But she'd stuck it out, not wanting to give up this time. And there was only one reason for that—Castle. She wanted to not give up because of him. Because of the promise of who she could be. The promise that he'd instilled in her.
But now he was walking away. Away from her and toward the stewardess. "Flight attendant," she corrected herself in her head with a sneer.
Just when those goddamn letters were fading once more—this time more than ever before—he was pulling away. And she could feel them already beginning to reappear, etching themselves deeply into her skin, giving her a migraine.
NO! she yelled internally. Not again. I can't go back.
She snatched up her phone and dialed a number. Uncomplicated? She could be uncomplicated. She could totally be uncomplicated.
"Hi," she said when the person on the other end answered. "It's, uh, it's Kate. Do you still want to buy me that drink?"
Uncomplicated.
Yes, she could do this.
The man sitting across from her in the hotel bar near the airport was certainly handsome and that accent!
He was sweet and quick-witted, always ready with a thoughtful response. Kate could tell that he was taking the death of his friend hard. She even saw his eyes water as he told her a story from their childhood and her heart ached for him.
He was a gentleman through and through, pulling out her chair for her and refusing to allow her to pay for her own drink.
He was all of those things, but he wasn't Castle.
Kate had immediately saw his offer to buy her a drink for what it was—a thinly veiled invitation to blow off steam before his flight home that may or may not involve clothing. Of course she'd declined. At first. Then had come Castle's uncomplicated comment.
Isn't that what uncomplicated women do? Blow off steam without any romantic notions involved? She was certain that Jacinda was more than ready to be uncomplicated.
That thought, the thought of her 'blowing off steam' with Castle is what made her decide to accept Colin Hunt's invitation. She knew she had no real right to be jealous. Castle wasn't hers, after all.
Except, he was.
Oh, God what was she doing?
Tears suddenly burned behind her eyelids and she rubbed her eyes in a vain attempt to keep them from falling down her cheeks.
Oh, yes, so uncomplicated right now.
"Are you okay?" Colin asked, concern evident in his voice.
Kate just nodded, not trusting her voice.
"Forgive me if I don't believe you," Colin said.
Kate lowered her hands and sighed. "I'm sorry, Colin," she forced out, voice raspy with unshed tears. "I'm sorry to… lead you on, but I can't… I should go." She moved to stand, but Colin's hand on her arm stopped her. She braced herself for the inevitable onslaught of angered words.
Only, when he spoke, his voice was calm and soothing. "You didn't lead me on," he said. "I had no expectations, despite what you may have believed."
Kate leveled her gaze on him, but didn't say anything.
"I just needed to not be alone," he continued after a brief pause. "Naomi was like a sister to me and now she's gone." He cradled his Scottish-brewed beer in both hands. "I need human company right now and you remind me of her. Smart, beautiful, strong. That's why I asked you. I won't lie and say that I wouldn't have accepted had you invited me upstairs. You are after all a stunningly beautiful woman and I am only male, but I'm really okay with just talking."
Talking. That could be considered uncomplicated. Right?
Kate raised her glass. "To Naomi," she said.
"To Naomi," Colin echoed, clinking his bottle against her glass before taking another long swig.
Sure, she could do this kind of uncomplicated.