A/N: So I jumped into the bandwagon. In all honestly, I have seen so many people claim ownership to this idea to the point where it just turned into a fad. Well it's time to join that fad. Okay I am showing two OC's here, Zack Collins and Vanessa Corpus. Yeah I know there won't be much characterization but hey, here goes nothing.
Few things here: Rule 6 is dedicated to Kibble Beast and his/her story It Isn't Every Orn You Have A Human Around. Rule 7 is a plot bunny of mine based off the band 'The Protomen' and their album Act II: The Father of Death and It's also loosely based off of the Comic 'Shattered Glass'. Rule 10 is based off of one of Wannabee Starscream's storys MSN Madness. It's a good story, but its M rated. Rules 16, 17, and 20 are based off of Tatyana Witwicky's story Guidance for Living with Giant Robots.
Guidelines for living with Cybertronians
By Zack Collins
Proofread by Vanessa Corpus
Rule 1: Watch where the Transformers are walking.
(Golden rule of NEST, follow that or be squished.)
(Vanessa: Though no one has been squished.)
(Yet.)
Rule 2: Knock before entering ANY room.
(Vanessa was getting dressed in her guardian's room when Starscream walked in. Barricade was pissed off at him when he found out.)
(I was playing No More Heroes II when Optimus walked in to ask a question.)
(His facial expression to my response was priceless.)
("I can't hear you, I'm murdering people.")
Rule 3: Any quotes from LP's are forbidden unless used in the right situations.
This is included, but not limited to:
"I can't hear you, I'm murdering people." (After I said that, this rule happened.)
"Hey…This life is rated M, I demand Tits damnit. (Leo said that to Vanessa and Mikaela.) (He got slapped HARD.)
"For the LOVE of Batman, Jump!" (Proton Jon can only make this funny. Not you Miles.)
"Rape is the Japanese way of saying hello." (Vanessa: I love Proton Jon and his roommate.) (I don't even want to know where he saw that.)
"Ten, yes ten. If I could, I would give you more. Megatron, can I give you more?" [Insert Over 9000 reference] (I didn't find this funny at first than I remembered where it came from. Sam rocks for the reference.)
"And a hole in my head and words stop coming." (The new arrivals freaked out when Lennox said that. I got a kick out of it.)
(I should blame myself but LP's are commonplace at NEST since the war is over.)
Rule 4: No More Heroes I and II are banned on base.
(Apparently none of the 'bots like slagging humans in a very, very bloody way.)
(The 'cons love it. I found Megatron doing a marathon of the second game from start to finish.)
Rule 5: Cybertronian society is very much like ours. Don't be surprised when you find out.
(Though I was very surprised that Megatron, Optimus, Ultra Magnus, and Ironhide were once a band called 'The Megas')
(Megatron was not happy when he found out that a human band has that same name.)
(Optimus and Magnus love their music.)
(Ironhide denies ever being a part of that band.)
(Vanessa: I found out that 'screamer, T.C., and 'Warp along with Ramjet and Dirge were a screamo band once.)
(Vanessa: You can guess who did vocals.)
Rule 6: Please do not use your holoform to go into Kroger to distract Vanessa.
(Vanessa: It was nice to see Arcee and Mikaela checking out of my line one day.)
(Vanessa: But then Sam came in with a very sexy business suit Megatron, sexy collage sports star Starscream, and a sexy nerd in a lab coat and glasses Soundwave along with a very cute Rumble.)
(Vanessa: Eye candy never looked so damn good not including the child.)
(Vanessa: I looked at Starscream just in time to see Sam deck him for taking away his Fruit Loops while yelling "STOP RUINING MY LIFE!")
(Vanessa: Poor Starscream. I want to hold his holo.)
Rule 7: The Transformer musical: 'Shattered Glass' is to be performed on base ONLY.
(I do love the role reversal Optimus and Megatron did for that play.)
(Then I noticed the musical at a local theater one day.)
(I saw it and well, I'm surprised at the remake.)
(Optimus is now named Albert.)
(Megatron is Thomas.)
(Elita is now Emily.)
(And there are so many more translations.)
(Megatron wants to sue and Prime says no.)
(Only thing Megatron can do that is non-violent.)
Rule 8: When it comes to Brawl tournaments, NO ITEMS!
(Megatron gets rather huffy with items on.)
(To this day, Megatron and Starscream hold the top with Prime and Ratchet on second.)
(Vanessa and I are third!)
Rule 9: Throw your gum away.
(Disobey this rule and start scraping gum off of each mech and femme's foot.)
(Ratchet won't do it.)
Rule 10: When Megatron sulks, don't bother him.
(Sunny must have a death wish.)
("Emo overlord strikes again.")
Rule 11: Do not lie to Soundwave. He will Braindive you.
(Seriously, it's not fun.)
(Vanessa: He can braindive me all he wants with his holoform. *drools*)
Rule 12: Blaster is NOT a DJ.
(So stop asking him to be one Miles.)
Rule 13: Please don't bother Ironhide and Chromia during their 'down time'.
(Wheeljack interrupted them because he needed Ironhide.)
(Ironhide may have a death glare, but Chromia will shoot to kill if she doesn't get her 'down time.')
Rule 14: In addition to No More Heroes, Manhunt is banned.
Rule 15: No quoting Shattered Glass.
(Me and Sam had an argument and the words "You are a fool" slipped out.
("You underestimate the character of man." Sam)
("They are weaker than you think." Me)
("You think that they will surrender if you bind their working hands. But they are strong." Sam)
("Just wait and see." Me)
(Best Musical ever and Sam rocks.)
Rule 16: "nananananananana Trojan Man."
(I laughed when Vanessa did that.)
(First Aid…not so much.)
Rule 17: One word: PedoBear
(Skywarp is convinced that Soundwave is the mech equivalent of PedoBear.)
(Children are now screwed.)
Rule 18: Don't piss of Shockwave.
(He WILL get you and make it look like a bloody accident.)
(CHEVY TWINS)
Rule 19: Toddler shows are banned unless Annabelle is present.
(We know its torture to the receptors.)
(Not sure how Ironhide puts up with it.)
Rule 20: Starscream is NOT a flying Dorito.
(VANESSA.)
(Vanessa: Hey now we know who the lead singer of his band is.)
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First 20 Done.
Should I continue this?