Kairi – best friend, girlfriend – d e a d. Sora stared down at the casket he couldn't breathe, she was beautiful even in death, he touched her cold cheek. It was impossible to see the hole in her chest, her heart long gone, fucking heartless. He couldn't save her, she was the princess and he was the knight – and he failed. She was fucking DEAD, and there was nothing he could do about it. It wasn't a game, he couldn't push restart and she would be alive, it was real life and Sora hated it.
-
He could see her laughing with Selphie, dancing around the beach she was six, and so was he and in that moment he wanted one thing. He always wanted to make her smile, he didn't understand love yet, but at fifteen it made more sense. He wanted to protected her from the world, he wanted to save her, but lately he couldn't save much of anyone.
It was just a matter of time before she stopped smiling, and started dying.
-
The first one to go had been Alice, he remembered because he was out with Kairi on his first date, the keyblade just randomly popping up causing soda to spill on her each time. He never hated being a hero so much, until he found out Alice was d e a d. He hated being a hero, because sometimes the hero wasn't gonna save the day, sometimes people were going to die.
-
Snow white was next, they were at a Blitzball game, Riku went to pass the ball to Sora and bam! The keyblade pops the ball, and it's game over. He's fall over crying because even though he doesn't know, Kairi hugs him as hard as she can, but it isn't helping. Roxas is tsking him in his head, he can't block it out, sometimes he wished he was just a normal boy. Instead of the boy with a keyblade and a voice inside his head, it just wasn't fair.
-
"You can't deny if forever Sora," Riku told him after Belle had gone. "We aren't normal boys." He was at the movies with Kairi when it had happen, he had started to drift asleep (the first time in months) when his keyblade had appeared. He launched at the screen, but it just came back. Kairi hugged Riku, and Sora waved goodbye. He could fight them, Riku was good at playing hero, but not Sora the only princess he had to save was standing right next to him.
Nothing else mattered, but her.
-
She woke up screaming, Sora jumped into action, keyblade in hand he went to her room. She was rolled up in a ball, crying, her fist pulling at her hair – the were no heartless it was just a nightmare. He sat down next to her, she looked up at him, her eyes filled with tears. "S-Sora."
"It's okay Kairi, I'm here." He sooth her, rubbing her back.
"You have to go," she whispered. "You have to go save them."
The pain in her voice broke his heart, but she was right. It was time to stop being selfish and start playing hero.
-
He kissed her forehead, he would be back. "Just wait for me, kay?" she smiled at him, embracing him into a hug – the tears running down his face onto her face.
"Always." She replied, tracing his jaw line with her hand. He wanted to say it, to tell her how much she meant to him, right then and there. Instead he got on the Gummi ship with Donald and Goofy waving goodbye.
There would always be next time.
-
Selphie told him she sat on the beach a lot, looking up into the sky – always, always thinking about him. She was there when the heartless come for her, he cried hard when she told him that. It was his fault that she was gone, he knew they were coming, but he couldn't get there in time. He couldn't save her, Riku put his hand on Sora's shoulder.
"It's not your fault."
Of course it was, he wanted to scream, instead tears fell down his face. Silence sat there mocking him, he was a bad hero – he couldn't save his princess.
"None of us could have saved her."
He could have, if was there – instead of saving the world. She was the most important thing to him, and he couldn't tell her. Those three precious words that didn't even describe how he felt.
"I love her," he whispered, his voice was shaking. "I love her, and she'll never know." There's no such thing as happiness, not without her, the black hole that was his heart hurt. It ached to see her smile again, to look at him with those beautiful eyes again, to hold her. It wasn't going to happen, he was just a hero now. A hero with nobody to save, nobody that matter at least, she was being sent into the ground. She's dead and it's his fault, the ring in his pocket felt heavy – the promise ring, what a silly thing – because there was nobody to promise himself to.