So Keva is sick, sick, sick in the friggin summer no less. Gods this suxs! So because I'm hopped up on cold meds and just having a good time feelin funkaay I wrote this (gonna be 2 shot) because I can't think of anything else to write. Plus this fic has been giving me the giggles but I don't know if it's because it's actually that funny or the meds are making me think it is. I'll let you decide. So I hope ya enjoy and if not take some cold meds and you might after that. Much love for you all. Keva

xx

"I don't see how you guys can want to do this." Momo shook her head at her two friends.

"Well of course you don't." Izuru nodded as he reread the papers in his hands to make sure he covered everything.

"Yea." Renji agreed. "Just because you think Aizen-taichou is the greatest thing to ever exist doesn't mean we think the same of our captains."

"I don't." She glared at him. "I think he's just a great captain; that's it."

Izuru set his papers down and stared at her. "Is that so? Then tell me Momo where did you spend the night last night?"

"What?" She blushed.

"That's what I thought." He nodded at her growing darker red by the second face. "Rangiku saw you coming out of Aizen-taichou's chambers this morning fixing your clothes and your hair."

She gasped as she stared wide eyed at him. "It's not what you think!" She defended. "I... I just fell asleep."

"Yea; sure." Renji rolled his eyes at her. "You JUST fell asleep in the same room where he sleeps and was seen coming out just moments before you did also fixing his clothes."

"We didn't do anything!"

"Then why ya blushin?" Renji smirked at her.

"Yes," Izuru agreed. "I've never seen nothing make someone blush so."

Momo huffed and shot to her feet. "I hate you both!" She glared then ran out of her own office.

"She's so easy." Renji laughed.

Izuru nodded in agreement. "As always," he sighed. "so you ready to do this?"

"No." He shook his head and tugged on his ponytail nervously. "But I can't go on like this."

"Neither can I." He agreed then stood up. "Well I'm going to go now."

"Now?" Renji stood up with him.

"Yes now." The blonde scowled. "For one we've been planning this for weeks now and two he just had lunch. He'll be a little more agreeable with a full stomach aaand," he tapped his pocket. "the pouch of dried persimmons I'm going to give him for a treat."

"That's not fair." Renji pouted. "I don't have anything to give to Kuchiki-taichou to make this easier for me." He whined.

"Well doesn't he like tea?" Izuru questioned. "Why don't you get him some good tea maybe with some of those mint cookies he likes."

"Yea I guess." He cringed. "But I mean to butter him up first seems to kinda defeat the purpose."

"But if you do the end result might be a little easier to handle." Izuru turned and walked to the door. "My advice to you Renji is to just go do it and get it over with."

"Great advice." He rolled his eyes as he followed him out the door.

"Well do you have any other ideas?"

"No." He slumped in the shoulders as he followed him down the walkway.

Izuru stopped and turned to face him. "Then I suggest you just go do it and hope for the best." He pointed his finger in the opposite direction. "So stop following me and go to your own division."

"Man." Renji grumbled. "This is going to suck; I just know it." He turned and started heading towards his own division.

"Get over it." Izuru snorted and continued on his way to his division to deliver his papers to Ichimaru-taichou.

~Renji and Byakuya~

Renji stiffened his spine after a quick pep-talk to himself and gently knocked on the door. When he heard the man inside answer he stepped in and gently closed the door behind him.

Upon seeing the noble working away at his desk he felt his resolve strengthen and walked up to Byakuya's desk. He had to do this this was about respect and acknowledgement. It wasn't that he was seeking to be praised like he was some great god or something. No, he just wanted an occasional 'you're doing a good job Renji' from the man once in awhile.

Yet it seemed he was never going to get that seeing as how after so many years as his lieutenant the most he received was the man calling him by his first name… once. Yes that was enough to give him the strength to do this that and the fact he had yet to look up at him.

"Sir I need you to sign this paper." He nodded at the noble though Byakuya wasn't looking at him.

"Set it here," he pointed at his desk with his brush. "and get back to work Abarai." He ordered.

"No sir." He stood a little stiffer to keep his resolve about him. "I need this signed immediately so I can have it in to Yamamoto-soutaichou by the end of the day."

Byakuya sighed through his nose like he was really being put out by this before setting the paper he was working on aside. With a quick glance at his lieutenant he looked at the paper the red head had set before him. "A request for a transfer?" He looked back up at him.

"Yes sir." He nodded. "I wish to transfer to division eleven." It wasn't the greatest division to be in but he could hone his skills there and not have to worry about the stresses of working for Byakuya Kuchiki. Plus when they weren't working at division eleven they were having fun.

"Request denied." Byakuya narrowed his eyes as he fisted the paper into a ball and dropped it into the trash can.

Renji narrowed his own eyes. "Fine then." He scowled and set the other paper on his desk. "My letter of resignation. If you won't let me go willingly then I'll walk out with or without your permission."

Byakuya set his hands on his desk covering the paper and laced his fingers together as he stared up at the red head. "Alright Abarai what is this about?"

"It's about nothing." He growled knowing full well that if he didn't get out of there soon his taichou would talk him out of leaving the division and remaining here as his subpar fuku-taichou.

"No." Byakuya sighed. "it's about something because most people don't just quit their jobs over nothing. So what is it?"

As soon as he looked into those steely eyes he was pinned and he knew it. "You." He answered trying desperately to look away but those gray eyes had him trapped like a rabbit.

"Me," he responded flatly. "and do tell what does you leaving have to do with me?" He arched a dark brow at him. "Do I treat you so horribly?"

"No sir." He answered with a small shake of his head.

"Then what is it Abarai?" He let a small annoyed sigh pass his lips. Really he didn't have time for this tantrum his lieutenant deemed necessary to suddenly have.

"You don't treat me at all with anything except…" He trailed off trying to remember the word Izuru supplied to him. "Different," he drew his brows deeply. "no that's not it."

"Indifference." Byakuya filled in for him.

"Yea indifference." He scowled. "I'm nothing but some guy who sits in the office next to yours doing paperwork." His eyes narrowed deeply. "I'm just a monkey on a string to do your bidding." Oh he was so proud of himself for standing up to his captain… as long as Byakuya didn't say anything in return he knew he'd be able to do this.

"Abarai…"

And with that one word all his excitement and hopes crashed down into the pit of his stomach to die a slow horrible death.

~Izuru and Gin~

"Are you enjoying your treat taichou?" Izuru questioned as he watched Gin nibble on the dried persimmons, his smile as large as ever.

"Ah my little 'Zuru, ya sure knows how ta make me happy."

Izuru smiled at that. "Well that's what a good lieutenant is suppose to do; make their taichou happy."

"And ya do." He nodded.

"But do you know what a taichou is suppose to do?" He reached out and pushed the pouch of persimmons closer towards his captain.

"Nah, neve'a had time ta think on it." He shrugged as he reached for another one of his dried treats.

"I suppose not." Izuru agreed. "So let me help you captain. If a lieutenant is suppose to make his captain happy would it not hold true the other way around?"

"A captain makin his lieutenant happy?" Gin questioned thoughtfully. "I s'pose." He shrugged again.

Izuru smiled at him. "So if that's how it's suppose to be then you wouldn't mind doing a favor for me to make me happy; would you?"

Gin eyed the boy in front of his desk over carefully. "So what is ma lil 'Zuru wantin from his taichou ta make him happy?" He practically leered at him.

And he had him. "Nothing important." Izuru nodded as he set the paper down on the desk. "Just sign that paper and I'll be as happy as can be."

Gin grabbed the paper and watched from the corner of his eye as his lil 'Zuru's smile fell from his lips. "Ah ya didn' think I wasn't gonna read it did ya." He smirked at him then looked at the paper and soon his smile fell from his lips as well. "Ya want ta explain this ta me Izuru." He cracked his eyes open and stared at his blonde fuku-taichou.

Well that didn't bode well; eyes and being called fully by his name. He didn't care though because he was going to walk out of this office today no longer a part of squad three. "It's a transfer request."

"I can read that." Gin cracked his eyes open just a little further. "Why ya wantin ta transfer from me? Is I a bad taichou to ya?"

"Not personally; no." He gave a curt shake of his head. "But I'm tired of doing all the work and working twelve to fourteen hours a day."

"Well why didn' ya say so." His eyes closed as his smile returned. "Just stop workin all dem hours and you'll be all bettah."

"In theory." He agreed. "But we've tried that several times over the years and I always end up right back where I started. So," he set his other paper on the desk. "your options are this. You either sign my transfer request or I resign and leave anyway."

His smile again fell from his lips at the threat. "Ya treadin dangerously 'Zuru. Ya knows I don' likes ta be threatened."

"I'm not." He gave a curt shake of his head determined to stand his ground. "A threat would be a possible promise of what I'm thinking of doing. This is not a threat this is real I am leaving Ichimaru-taichou and returning to division four or maybe to eleven to work on my fighting skills." He nodded. "Now the question is do I walk out of here with your signature on my transfer request or do I walk out of here unemployed?"

Gin slowly rose to his feet to stare down at his suddenly insubordinate subordinate. "Ya keeps talkin like that and ya won' be walkin outta here at all."

Izuru set his chin and stared up at him. "Let me go." The answer was short, sweet, and to the point.

"No."

Well he suspected it would go down this way so it was time for plan C, just walk out and never come back. "As you wish taichou." He bowed lightly to him then turned on his heel and left his office.

Gin watched him go and knew without a doubt the boy wasn't going to willingly come back to the office anytime soon. Well he'd just have to go and force him back where he belonged.

~Renji and Izuru~

"Well?" Renji questioned then took a long deep drink from the sake bottle. "How'd it go for you?"

Izuru glared at him. "How do you think?" He questioned back and snatched the bottle from the red head and downed the rest. "I was threatened."

Renji sighed and jabbed his fingers through his hair forgetting his ponytail and ended up yanking on his hair painfully. "Yea well first I was guilted, then threatened, then guilted again, and told that if I could come up with an acceptable reason for leaving he'd let me go." He sighed as he pulled his hair free and fixed his ponytail.

"You have it easy." Izuru nodded and waved the waitress over. "Because I highly doubt Kuchiki-taichou will show up at your door to physically take you back."

"Ichimaru-taichou wouldn't; would he?" Renji questioned wide eyed.

Izuru jerked his head towards the man standing in the doorway watching them. "You tell me."

Renji looked over at Gin who was leaning against the doorframe with arms crossed over his chest and NOT smiling. "Oh…" he looked back at his friend. "oh, wow he's pissed. He ain't smilin."

"Yep," Izuru nodded and ordered four more bottles of sake. "so I'll drink myself into oblivion, agree with whatever he says to please him, and once I'm sober I'm gone."

"Or chained to his desk." Renji pointed out with another glance at the captain standing by the door.

Izuru stared at his friend for a long thoughtful moment trying to decide if Gin would actually chain him to his desk. The answer to that was a very dismal yes and if not to his desk he'd probably put a leash and collar on him. Now he really needed a drink to get the thought out of his head. "Maybe I'll buy him a whole forest of persimmon trees." He grabbed a bottle when the waitress set them down in front of him.

"I dunno." Renji shook his head. "He's looking pretty pissed off I mean look at him," he waved his hand at the man in question. "people are steering way clear of him and he isn't even doing anything."

"What I don't understand is why they care so much." Izuru took another drink. "I mean really what's the big deal if we aren't their lieutenants anymore or not? It's not like there's no one else they can replace us with; that's what the third seat is for."

"I dunno." Renji sighed and took a long swallow from a bottle. "Maybe they don't like change or something."

"Probably." He agreed with a deep sigh.

"Ya know we could always petition Yamamoto-soutaichou." Renji suggested but not very hopefully.

"He wouldn't let us leave without a VERY justifiable reason." Izuru glared over at his captain who pressed his lips together tighter. "Irreconcilable differences just won't do it." He looked back at his friend.

"Would telling the man I want to murder my captain every time I look at him work?"

"No." Izuru snorted. "That'd just get you sent to detention or to squad four for a mental evaluation."

"Damn." Renji sighed deeply. "So what do we do now?"

"Really I have no clue." Izuru shook his head. "I say just let it go for now and wait to see what happens tomorrow."

"And hope we live through it." Renji added on.

Izuru held his bottle up. "Agreed."

Renji clinked this bottle against the blonde's then they both downed their drinks as fast as they could.

~Byakuya and Gin~

"And that will conclude today's meeting unless anyone else has anything to add." Yamamoto looked around the room at his captains.

"I do." Byakuya nodded then continued at the nod given to him by their head captain. "It seems that my lieutenant has for reason yet to be known decided to resign his position. I have refused him to leave without proper reason for his actions. So here forth he is on suspension."

"Dat goes the same for ma 'Zuru." Gin nodded. "I declares him suspended and unemployable by any buts meh." Not that Izuru was going anywhere anytime soon seeing as how the boy was currently locked inside his chambers.

"Huh seems like you two can't keep anyone in your division happy." Kenpachi snorted. "Can't imagine why." He grinned knowingly over at Byakuya.

Byakuya glared at the eleventh captain. "Do you have something to say to me?"

"Nothing you can't figure out on your own." Kenpachi answered smartly. "A captain that can't keep his lieutenant in line, sounds like someone is a weak captain."

Steely eyes narrowed dangerously. "That sounds like a threat a threat that you won't live long enough to regret." Byakuya growled coldly.

"You wanna try me?" He smirked all ready to take on the division six captain.

"I will see you on your knees…"

"That will be enough." Yamamoto growled cutting the noble off. He was always amazed that the stoic noble was always so easily goaded into an argument by the rough eleventh captain. "So it stands; the third squad lieutenant and the sixth squad lieutenant are on suspension until further notice."

"I hope this doesn't become a trend." Kaname sighed. "Shuuhei has been a little tense the last few days."

"My sweet little Nanao has been the same." Shunsui sighed deeply. "I don't know what I would do if she left me."

Sui-Feng snorted. "That girl is always talking about leaving you and that's all it is; talk." She crossed her arms over her chest. "Just be glad your lieutenant isn't a fat, nose picking, slob." She looked at Gin and glared at him.

"Ah ya chose ya own fuku-taichou." He pointed out. "Ya have no one ta blame but yaself fer that."

She scowled harder at him but had to submit to that because she did in fact choose him as her lieutenant.

"That is why you should make your own lieutenant like my Nemu." Kurotsuchi added.

"Well aren't you the smart one." Kenpachi snorted. "Nothing like an exact copy of yourself in female form to keep you company all day."

"It's better suited than a loud mouthed child." The twelfth captain spat back.

Kenpachi snorted. "At least she's real and not some fantasy doll."

Yamamoto sighed deeply and shook his head. "Enough." He ordered before Kenpachi finally started his much desired brawl with his fellow captains. "Here forth any lieutenant that wishes to resign his or her position must submit the request through me first. At which point the captain and lieutenant will stand before me and make their case for why the resignation is desired and denied." He looked around the room then settled his eyes on Gin. "I will see you and your lieutenant first thing tomorrow morning," he then moved his eyes to Byakuya. "as well as you and yours."

"As you wish." Byakuya bowed.

"If ya say so." Gin gave a small bow of his head.

"Good, dismissed."

As the captains exited the room Gin moved to walk next to Byakuya. "Ya know they is workin togetha on this."

"I suspected as much." Byakuya nodded. "Renji's letter of resignation was too properly worded for him to have written it. It had Kira's name practically scribbled all over it."

"Hmm…" He hummed in agreement. "So why ya think he wants ta leave ya?"

"I believe it has something to do with him wanting some form of acknowledgement from me." He looked at his fellow captain from the corner of his eye. "Are you aware of the reason for Kira wanting to leave?"

"Hai." He nodded. "He says its cuz he works tah much but he chooses ta work like he does."

Byakuya snorted at that. "I'm sure it has nothing to do with your lack of work ethic."

"There 'ave been no complaints so fah." He shrugged.

"That you're aware of." He nearly rolled his eyes. "Irregardless," he moved on before that particular conversation could turn into an argument and stopped to stare at the taller third captain. "at this point in this matter I would appreciate it if you kept your trouble making lieutenant away from Abarai."

"No problem as long as ya keep ya foul mouthed lieutenant away from ma innocent lil 'Zuru."

Byakuya glared at him and gave a small curt nod. "Agreed."

"Was a pleasura talkin wit ya." He grinned then turned and headed for his personal chambers and the more than likely pissed off blonde waiting for him.

Byakuya glared at his retreating form for a moment longer then headed in search of his own troublesome fuku-taichou to let him know of their meeting tomorrow.

~Byakuya and Renji~

"Yea what is…" Renji trailed off when he opened his door saw his captain standing there.

Byakuya nearly wrinkled his nose at the stench of sweat and alcohol coming off his lieutenant. "Is that why you want to resign; to become a drunkard?"

Renji snorted at that. "It hasn't even been a day and I already forgot how funny you can be." He pulled his drooping ponytail free causing his hair to spill messily around his face. "So waddya want?"

"First I'm here to inform you that you are on suspension." He nearly grinned when the red head's eyes widened. "Secondly you and I have a meeting with Yamamoto-soutaichou first thing tomorrow morning and lastly I want a full explanation for this behavior of yours."

"You suspended me?!" He practically yelled at the man. "How am I suppose to get a job if I'm suspended?"

"You should have thought of that before you tried to resign without a good reason." He sighed getting more annoyed with this whole situation by the second. "Now answer my question; what is this really about?"

Renji slumped against the doorframe feeling defeated, tired, achy, and just all around miserable. Most of that was probably from his hangover but the rest had everything to do with the man in front of him. "Ya wanna come in and sit down?" He waved a hand inside.

"Very well." Byakuya gave a small nod and entered then moved to kneel in front of the small kitchen table.

Renji followed him and kneeled down across from him and sighed deeply as he toyed with a strand of his hair. "Alright the truth of the matter is this," he looked down at the table not wanting to be caught in those dark eyes again. "you don't like me." He held up his hand when he saw from the corner of his eye Byakuya open his mouth to respond to that. "No let me say this."

Byakuya gave a small nod of his head trying to figure out what in all of Seireitei would make his fuku-taichou think such a thing. Renji was by far the best lieutenant he had ever had even if he was on the slakerish side. Even still Renji was good at his job and as much as he didn't want to admit it to himself he found that the red head made his days seem to go by quicker.

All the noise he made, his stupid stories, his even stupider jokes, his odd ideas on how to make the division run smoother made his day better. It broke up the monotony of paperwork which was a completely mindless boring job.

"Everything I do," Renji continued on. "isn't good enough. It's always you could have done better, you should have done better, that was mediocre, that was decent." He finally worked up the courage to stare at him. "If I'm a subpar lieutenant it's because…" He trailed off and looked away his small amount of courage dissipating due to those cold gray eyes.

"Because what?" Byakuya questioned though he already filled in the rest of that sentence himself. He just wanted to hear him say it out loud to make it real so they could work it out.

"Because you're a subpar captain." He whispered and jerked on his hair nervously waiting to feel the cutting blades of Senbonzakura. It would be no more than he deserved for insulting his perfect captain.

"You're right." Byakuya agreed in turn causing wide ruddy brown eyes to stare at him. "If I was a good captain I would know there was something bothering you and I would do what needs to be done to fix it."

"Well it's not like I made it very clear that there was a problem." He looked back down at the table. "All I ever wanted was for you to see me as good enough for you but I could never reach you. Just a monkey reaching for the moon reflecting on the water." He whispered the last part.

"You're not a monkey." He sighed softly wishing he could go back in time and take those words back. Clearly it was bothering his lieutenant a lot more than he would let on even if he said it wasn't a big deal. Especially since he brought it up twice in less than a day. However there was something else in his words something more he wanted than to just be a good lieutenant for him.

He was going to get to the core of this problem even if it took him all day and night.

~Gin and Izuru~

Long before he ever made it to his door he could feel his lil 'Zuru's spiritual energy whipping around him angrily. Well if he was mad he had no one but himself to blame for it after all he was the one misbehaving by trying to leave him.

"Ya need to be settlin down in there." He ordered as he leaned against his door.

"Open this door!" Izuru demanded and for good measure kicked the door right were Gin's ass was leaning against it.

Gin startled and stepped away from the door. "Now 'Zuru ya askin ta be punished behavin like that."

"Then let me out of here!" He yelled. "This is false imprisonment!"

"I'll let ya out when ya calm down." He nodded curtly at the wooden door.

"I would calm down but I'm locked in a room with no food or anything to drink!" He huffed.

"Hmm well I s'pose I could get ya somethin ta make it easier on ya." He nodded. "But not until ya tell me why ya be wantin ta leave your taichou. I know it ain't because of all that paperwork."

"It is." He sighed, turned to lean against the door, and slid down it. "I do all that work for you and you don't care. You just keep piling on more for me to do without considering that I might have other things I want to do. You never thank me or help me or anything." He dropped his head back against the door with a small thud. "I'm tired Gin, so very tried."

Gin's smile fell from his lips at his last words. "'Zuru."

"I want a life beyond this." He continued on. "I want to find someone, start a life, maybe even have a family but I'll never find that behind my desk. Please, I'm begging you, let me go."

"I can't." He answered as he opened the door.

Izuru looked back and up at the man standing over him. "Why?" He frowned sadly.

"Cuz lil 'Zuru is mine and no one else can 'ave him."

"I'm not a thing." He scowled.

Gin squatted down behind him, slipped is arms around his chest, and pulled him up to his feet. "Nah, not a thing." He nuzzled the side of his blonde head with his cheek. "Ya just ma lil 'Zuru and ya needs ta stop worrin sah much. Tiachou will make it all bettah."

"You're going to let me go?" He questioned though knowing Gin as he did he highly doubted that was how he was going to make it all better.

"Now 'Zuru ya needs to stop that line of thinkin." He admonished. "Ya ain't leavin but I migh' have a plan ta make it easier on ya."

"How?" He questioned suspiciously and narrowed his blue eyes. Whenever his captain had a plan it was always good to get as much information as possible to keep the damage down to a minimum.

"Well ya see we 'ave a whole squad of people that can help wit the paperwork." He answered proudly.

He should have known that's where his idea was going. Anything to keep from actually doing the work himself. "Or and this is just a thought," he sighed knowing already what the answer was going to be. "you could help out."

"Mah 'Zuru," he pouted. "ya know I ain't so good with the writin."

"You know you always say that," he scowled. "but I know for a fact you did your paperwork when you were the fuku-taichou for squad five."

"And that's why I hates paperwork." He sighed dramatically. "Aizen-taichou was a slave driver, never letin me 'ave any fun."

"And now you're doing it to me." He turned in the man's arms and stared up at him. "I want to have fun too sometimes."

"Well in that case how 'bouts I takes ya out twice a week for some fun an' we pass the paperwork off ta the third and fourth." He suggested ginning down at him.

"I guess." He reluctantly agree. "But what about my future and family?"

"Well now that's somethin else entirely." He nodded thoughtfully. "I migh' have an idea ta fix that problem fer ya as well."

For reasons he couldn't explain that last part settled a large lump in the pit of his stomach. He just hoped it was from his hangover.