Readers wanted, I delivered! Here is the revised first chapter of Percy Over the Edge! Enjoy, and don't forget to review!
Blackness. In any direction, that is all I can see. Hard granite rests beneath my feet. I don't need to see where I am; I know.
"Kronos...!" Though I whispered, my voice carried, sounding like booming thunder off the cave walls.
"Yes?" Asked the bodiless voice as though he DIDN'T know what was going on.
"Why did you bring me here?" I glowered at the bottomless pit that held the father of all Greek Gods.
"What do you mean?" Kronos questioned innocently.
"You know 'what'!" I shouted angrily.
"Oh," Kronos said lengthily, "You mean try and talk to you. Treat you like a son I never had."
"You have sons!" I accused, "I mean, you constantly bringing me here to this awful place!"
"My sons never liked me. I was intimidated by them because of their hatred towards me." Was Kronos' simple answer to avoid the second have.
'Yeah right!' I sneered, though, even my thoughts echoed through the cave as though I had spoken them aloud.
"...Just as your friends are." Kronos said smooth as calm water in the night.
I froze. "What do you mean?" I nearly squeaked.
"You're angry with you're friends, aren't you? I just thought you might like to know why." If I could see Kronos, I'm sure he would have shrugged like it didn't matter.
I wasn't ready to admit that I was more that a little bit upset with them, but... I wouldn't tell them. I wouldn't tell anyone. It was little, and stupid, but it still left a terrible ache in my chest. "What are you saying, Kronos?" I growled.
The Kronos went on to explain, "They're intimidated by Thalia, who has more power than you. But rather than hate her, they admire her, in a way they never did you. To them, you are nothing more than human."
My chest swelled with emotions. None of them I could separate or begin to understand. "I..." I was horribly tongue-tied. I didn't know what to do. Taking a deep breath, muttered, "What's it to you?" Keeping my eyes trained on the ground to the side of my shoe.
"I want to help." Kronos answered graciously.
"And how do I know you wont back-stab me like they did?" That last part slipped out by accident, but it's not like I DIDN'T mean it.
"I am the father of the gods. I am held to my word for all of eternity, unlike them. They have somehow found a way around self-respect and honor." Kronos said, with what I assume was, sincerity.
I wasn't sure what to say to that. The gods had locked themselves away from us, their children, so how could I know any differently.
"I can do so much for you. I can have your friends admire you for the powerful young man you truly are."
"I can get them back myself." I uttered. My eyes wandered everywhere but the pit.
"How?" Kronos asked curiously.
"I don't know!" I exploded angrily.
"Then let me help you. It's nearly impossible to do it alone." Kronos said softly.
"I... I'll think about it..." I mumbled. My voice became hard and defiant, "But if I say no, don't EVER pester me about it again!"
"I promise I shall never disturb you again with this topic should you decide you don't want my help." Kronos said sincerely.
I nodded, continuing to avert my eyes.
Suddenly, I shot up in bed. My bed. In the Poseidon Cabin in Camp Half-Blood. My palms weren't clammy as they usually were after a visit to Kronos, my pajamas were as dry and warm as they had been when I had put them on. The conversation he and I had began playing through my mind again. '''...your friends will admire you...''' Kronos' voice echoed repeatedly through my head.
'Why does that matter to me so much? I mean, every friend gets replaced after a while...' That thought didn't help much, or rather, not at all.
'What if Kronos is right? It's not like they ever left me for someone else before. And Thalia is more powerful than me, whether because she's had more time to train or because she's Zeus's daughter, it doesn't matter.'
Rather than wallow in despair any longer, I got up, and moved to do the little house-keeping that needed to be done. While making my bed, I resolved to go throughout my day as normal as possible, and simply watch.
Throughout the day, and the various activities, I kept an eye on Annabel and Grover. They rarely left Thalia's side. Only once did I see Grover leave Thalia's premises, and that was to get her water after training in the arena.
The more I watched, the more the anger burned inside me. They treated her with such high respect, and what was I? I was slapped in the back of the head, called names, and treated normal. Not that I would have complained had they been doing to me at the time. But no, they were worshiping the ground Thalia WALKED on! Annabel always complemented Thalia in anything Thalia did, when to me, she would always comment on how I could 'easily do better'.
It looked like they didn't even notice I wasn't there. They were too infatuated with Thalia to even notice that I wasn't there.
The anger bubbled in the pit of my stomach. The longer I watched, more more red filled my vision, and the more my heart would ache.
And? Wha'd ya think? If you want, I can change a bit of the old story if you guys have ideas! How would you feel should you be in Percy's position?