My best friend was being random. As you can see, an awkward (and hopefully funny) story bloomed.
DISCLAIMER
I don't own Twilight. I mean, if I was the amazingly talented Stephenie Meyer, would I be writing on this site? (Sorry about the boring-ness, I don't feel amazingly witty right now.)
Emmett Likes Shaving Cream?
One-shot
Rosalie POV
I was in my room talking to Alice about the new shoes she bought. It seemed like a perfectly normal summer Tuesday, but I was wrong. Of course, when is it ever normal with Emmett in the house? We heard the sound of whipped cream being sprayed in Alice and Jasper's room. What is Emmett doing with whipped cream? I looked at Alice. I then shot up, quite Pop-Tart-ish, and ran towards the sound.
I heard mild giggling from inside. I tried opening the door, but I had no luck. Not wanting to get in trouble for kicking it down, I decided to pick the lock with my hair clip. It clicked and the door swung open, revealing Emmett sitting on the floor with…er…dolls? And I thought my husband was just a tad manlier. He tossed a doll over his shoulder, and it landed at my feet. I picked it up to examine it. It was wearing a red corset and black skinny jeans with black and white heels. She seemed like a normal Barbie, but all of her hair was gone.
Then, it hit me. Emmett wasn't playing with whipped cream; he was playing with shaving cream. That's what the pink thing was in his hand! It was the razor. Where on earthdid Emmett get shaving cream and a razor? Another hairless doll flew at me and I caught it before it hit me in the head. Emmett sighed.
"Humph. I thought that would hit the door." He shrugged and went back to shaving the Barbies, while humming "Poker Face." Oh God.
"Actually, Emmett," I started. He froze and put the half-shaved Barbie and the razor down. "It almost hit me." Emmett got up and rushed over to me. He smiled, obviously trying to cover the fact he was playing with dolls.
"Why are you shaving dolls heads?" I held up the two bald dolls I had.
"Well Rose, I was watching TV, and I saw a shaving cream commercial. I liked the noise it made when you push down the button, so I bought a can and a bag of razors." I sighed. I looked back at where he was sitting. There was a bin of Barbies on the floor, the shaving cream, and a bag of razors. The half-shaved doll on the floor made me laugh. It looked like Bella.
"By the way," I added, "whose dolls are these?" Emmett smirked at me.
"Jasper's." He said and ran off.
"My dolls!" cried Jasper. I hadn't even noticed him come up behind me. He looked like a deer in someone's headlights.
"What…what happened, Rosalie?" Jasper blinked, trying to erase the scene in front of him.
"It looks like your dolls should change hairstylists," I shrugged. "Emmett De La Cullen isn't the best."
"Emmett!" he growled and ran off to find the perpetrator.
From downstairs, I heard Emmett shout "April fools!" Jasper growled again, and slammed Emmett into a wall.
"I'll show you April fools, you ass!" Bang.
"It was a joke!" Crash.
"BOYS!" Esme shouted. Boom.
Esme always knows how to get those two idiots to shut the Hell up.