Temptation

The first time I met Ashley, I didn't know what to think. She was this in-your-face type of person, and she didn't seem to take a liking to me. But the second time I met her, when she came up to me in the gym and formally introduced herself, I was hooked. There was something about her that I couldn't get out of my mind, and I still can't.

Before I saw Ashley, I never though about a girl being more than a friend. But when I found out that she liked girls, it sparked something in me that made me want to see what it would be like. And that feeling never went away.

It was more than just a feeling; it was a temptation. I didn't just want to be with a girl. I wanted to be with that girl. I had to be with her.

For the next couple of months, I let Ashley get the best of me. I found myself staring at her when she wasn't looking. But as soon as she'd turn her head, I'd look away, embarrassed. This went on for some time, as I could never get enough of just looking at her.

I noticed everything about her; probably because she was always so outgoing and loud. I saw the way her eyes lit up when I walked into the room. I noticed that. And the way her lips slowly curled up when she was trying not to smile.

Most of the other things I noticed were indescribable. They were just the little actions and sayings and quirks that made her Ashley. Like the way she said the word "love" and the way she laughed. Everything about her was mesmerizing. When we were in the same room, she was the only one I saw. She always pulled me into a trance and never let go.

Every time we hugged, it was like a string was tugging at my heart, trying to rip it straight through my chest. Because being that close to her, but being so far away at the same time, was horrible. I could wrap my arms around her in a completely friendly way, but I wanted to kiss her, to hold her hand, and even lay her down and make love to her. Just looking at her tempted me.

But I held back. And it made everything worse.

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I found some kind of excuse to see her everyday, but it wasn't enough. I guess that's what happens when you think you're falling in love with someone.

If we weren't together, I wanted to call her, but I couldn't. I didn't need her thinking that I was some kind of stalker or that I was crazy. Because if she thought that, then I'd never have a chance.

We held hands from time to time, in a friendly type of way, mainly dragging each other from place to place. It was the only contact I got, but I was grateful for it. Whenever she grabbed my hand, I felt a surge travel through my entire body. And she was always warm.

One day, Ashley and I skipped school and went to the beach instead. Seeing her in her bathing suit tempted me even more. I wanted to run my hand across her skin and feel how soft it was. I wanted to pull her body against mine and just feel her. I needed her close to me.

I told her that day that I liked girls, but she completely ignored it. She paraded around with two guys, insisting that I have a good time. But I wasn't having a good time. I wanted to be with her, and only her. She meant everything to me, but she didn't understand that. By then she wasn't just a temptation, she was a love. I loved her and she couldn't see it.

Pretty soon I became angry with Ashley. I waited for her to catch onto my hints and I waited for her to like me back. It didn't happen, so I became bitter towards her. Every time she looked at another girl, I felt like I wasn't good enough for her. We started to fight a lot, and I couldn't be around her anymore.

I looked at her and felt that familiar tug, and it killed me even more. When we fought, I couldn't even hold her hand or hug her or whisper in her ear.

I tried to use Aiden as some kind of subsititue for Ashley. He was cute, and I knew he was interested, so I figured I would give it a try. I liked kissing him, and wrapping my arms around his neck, but it just wasn't the same. I didn't feel that surge that I felt when Ashley touched me. And when Aiden and I were apart, I didn't miss him the way I missed her.

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Just as quickly as Ashley and I got into a fight, we made up. She always came to me a few hours later, or the next day, and apologized. That told me that maybe she liked me back, and she just didn't know how to show it. She always hooked up with random girls, and this was different than that.

One night when I was sleeping over her house, we were sitting on her bed, talking about some CD or something, and I just felt like the time was right. I knew that my temptation would never go away unless I gave in to it. I remembered hearing a saying like that in English at some point.

The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it.

The moment I remembered the saying, I looked into Ashley's eyes. She looked so beautiful, more beautiful than I ever remembered her. A few strands of hair fell across her face, and I reached up to tuck them behind her ear.

"What is it Spencer?" she asked, the corners of her mouth slowly rising.

I couldn't answer her because I thought it might ruin the moment. My fingertips grazed her cheek and she remained motionless, staring right back into my eyes.

I leaned forward and touched my lips to hers, feeling a jolt go through my entire body. Her kiss was so soft that I barely felt it. Her lips tickled mine, and I longed for more contact. I leaned in even more, and opened my mouth, allowing her tongue to enter.

The moment was perfect, and I couldn't remember a better kiss than the one I shared with Ashley that night. I never wanted to pull away, and I didn't until I felt that I couldn't breathe anymore.

I wanted to look away. I was embarrassed that I'd done it, and neither of us spoke. But my eyes couldn't leave hers. And as soon as I saw her smile, I knew it was what she wanted too.

I waited for her to make the next move, and it didn't take long at all. Before we knew it, we were lying down on the bed, limbs entangled, and lips melting together. I'd never felt so good in my entire life. Nothing could replace the feeling inside of me, and no one could replace Ashley.

I made a mental note to give into my temptation more often.

A/N: I originally wrote this as a quote challenge in my community on called sfsfanfiction, and decided to post it here too. Check out the community if you have an lj account!

Disclaimer: I do not own South of Nowhere or any of its characters.