Dementor's Dreams
Summary: Everyone know's what Harry saw when the Dementor entered the train car at the beginning of their 3rd year, but what about what Neville saw? Neville's worst memory.
This idea has been running through my head for a little while. I always thought it would be interesting to see what another character had seen when the Dementor had entered the car and as Neville is my favorite character I of course choose him.
AN-Character's & universe belong to JK Rowling. Do not own anything except the idea.
I suppose I should feel grateful, Neville thought to himself as he prepared for bed that night. Grateful that all anyone wants to talk about are the Dementors that were on the train, and how horribly it had affected each of them. Even when they did ask him about it, it was only to ask if Harry had really fainted on the train. Neville felt a pang of guilt as he recalled Malfoy mocking Harry at the carriages once they'd arrived at the castle. He hadn't realized Malfoy was standing so close when Seamus had asked him if Harry had fainted. It wasn't until he'd heard Malfoy's laughter as Harry walked by that he realized he had overheard them. He had tried to apologize, but Harry had simply waved him off.
Another spasm of guilt shot through Neville as he looked over at Harry, looking pale and slightly annoyed at the attention he had been getting. Part of Neville wanted to go over to Harry and tell him that it was all right to have fainted on the train. Neville had fainted as well, but everyone had been so focused on Harry after Professor Lupin had gotten rid of the dementor that no one had noticed Neville slumped over in his seat. Luckily, he had woken before Harry and was able to quickly get up and join the others before anyone was aware. Neville knew Harry would feel relieved to know he wasn't the only one who fainted, but telling Harry meant explaining why he had fainted and he wasn't sure he was ready for everyone to know about that. Besides, he was already known as Neville the Cowardly Gryffindor. Allowing people to find out he had fainted too would only make things worse. No, he thought climbing into bed, as bad as he felt; he just couldn't bring himself to do it.
As he lay in bed though, all feelings of guilt were pushed aside by a deeper fear of falling asleep. Neville couldn't get what he had seen on the train out of his head. It kept flashing before his eyes, as if it was on a never ending loop. Not the dementor, although that had been scary in and of itself. No, Neville couldn't stop seeing his worst memory. A memory he hadn't even known he'd had until tonight.
He had grown up knowing what had happened to his parents, that Bellatrix Lestrange and a group of You-Know-Who's most loyal followers had tortured his parents into insanity. He had spent many nights imagining what had happened to his parents, trying to figure out exactly what had happened. He hadn't realized he had been there to see it himself. Suddenly the loop began again, and there were his parents writhing on the floor screaming in pain, sobbing, as a maniacal laugh rang out above them, taunting them. "No one gonna hear you but the wee one. And I doubt 'ittle baby is going to be able to stop us. Now WHERE IS THE DARK LORD?" The last was screamed as his parents cries of agony worsened.
Drenched in a cold sweat, Neville felt his fear slowly fade as it was replaced with a rising anger. Anger at the ivory colored hand he could still see clutching the instrument of his parents torture. Anger at the laughter that still rung in his ears at her enjoyment of the pain she had wrought. As quickly as the rage had risen inside of him, however, it was replaced with a sense of satisfaction at the knowledge that the person who had hurt his parents, who had destroyed his family, was at least rotting in a place worse than hell. His parents may not recognize him but at least the women who had hurt them had spent the last 11 years relieving every bad memory she had ever had, all sense of happiness being continually drained from her. Neville tried to imagine what it would be like to continually be surrounded by dementors, and felt a chill rise within him. Yes, he thought, it may not give me the life I should have had, but at least she's in a hell no one can escape from. At that thought he felt a flicker of doubt. Someone had escaped. It was the reason the dementor had been on the train, that he had been forced to relieve his parents' torture. Still it was only one person, one person out of the hundreds of people that had been sent to Azkaban. The flicker of doubt remained however. I'll just have to get better, he thought. Work harder in school, in Defense Against the Dark Arts. That way…That way if she ever escapes I'll be ready for her. And then I'll make her pay. I'll make her regret ever even thinking of Frank and Alice Longbottom, he vowed to himself. With his new determination firmly in place Neville felt his doubt dissolve and finally allowed himself to drift off into a deep dreamless sleep.