Prologue

Love is like flying. Your heart pounds as you gasp for air when he looks at you. Just a single touch can leave your skin tingling. A simple moment when your eyes meet, is like dive bombing and plummeting through the sky. You would leave everything behind you, your friends, family, even your life, if he asked you to. And then you'd be together forever...

Right.

I'm sure this isn't anything like that, so, sorry if that's what you were hoping for. I'm Beechwhisker, another proud she-cat of ThunderClan, you know, always ready to defend my clanmates with my life and all that. It's not that I don't follow the warrior code, but when your clan leader murders the love of your life, it's not easy getting on.

Chapter 1

"Beechpaw, get up! We're hunting!"

I sighed, already awake. All night I'd been rolling over and over in my nest, trying to sleep, but to no avail. My bones ached from clearing the elder's bedding all day yesterday. I hate apprentice duties.

"Coming." I grumbled, not caring if my mentor, Bloodfur, heard me. My nest was shredded and bits of moss were scattered across my moon-grey pelt, so I sat and washed, taking my time. Bloodfur hated that. Once I finished, I left the apprentices den and padded into the camp clearing, into the intense heat of Greenleaf.

"Took your time did you?" Bloodfur's voice almost startled me, but I'm not scared too easily, so I coated my voice with sarcasm and quickly retorted, "Of course not Bloodfur! I just woke up, and I wouldn't keep you waiting! I'm soooo sorry!" I beamed at him, hoping the ever-so-clear message would get through.

"Don't talk to me like that, or you'll be cleaning out the apprentices' bedding too!" He snarled. Jeez, Harsh much? I thought to myself with an inward sigh. Bloodfur always has a shorter temper when I'm around.

His face lit with muted fury, Bloodfur turned and muttered, "We're leaving." I opened my mouth to ask where, when he suddenly turned and ran out the gorse tunnel, at a speed I didn't know he was capable of. Heaving yet another sigh, I started after him.

When I caught up, he was sitting in the training clearing and talking to Whiterain, my mother. I came to an abrupt halt, and nearly tripped face first trying to stop. Once I (eventually) landed on earth once more, Bloodfur was looking at me with a scowl, and my mother had some kind of mask of sympathy. She was trying to hide the disappointment, but it was shown in the slightest twitch of her nose, and the dull look in her eyes.

"Maybe we should train later, when she isn't here." Fawnpaw, my mother's apprentice, looked at Whiterain with annoyance, his eyes were almost pleading.

"Yeah, because you couldn't lay a paw on me if you tried." I tried to sound fierce, because on the inside, it kind of hurt. I knew I shouldn't let it bother me, Fawnpaw was like this all the time.

"Want to bet?" He interrupted my thoughts. I wasn't in the best mood, so, what the heck?

"Oh, I would, but I probably shouldn't take advantage of your size-"

Fawnpaw suddenly leapt at me, and being as I was talking and all, I was caught way off guard. He had me pinned to the forest floor, and I wiggled like a snake out of his grasp, and before he could turn around, I leapt on top of him and clamped a paw on his neck. I was actually about to say something sarcastic, like always, when I felt Bloodfur's jaws grasp my scruff, and yank me off Fawnpaw.

After releasing me, he growled, "What are you doing, fighting a younger apprentice like that? We are supposed to be hunting, not trying to kill a cat half your size!"

I saw Fawnpaw bristle, and If I hadn't been being lectured, I would've thought it was funny.

"Why are you yelling at me? He attacked first!"

Bloodfur suddenly went silent. He laid the fur on his shoulders back, and closed his eyes. "I know," his voice was unexpectedly softer, but I could almost hear his anger being forcefully pushed down," but the responsible thing to do would've been to get him off and be done with it. Not fight someone from your own clan, who I might add, is only just six moons old starting yesterday."

I didn't really have much to say right then. Fawnpaw attacked me, insulted me, and made me feel like almost every other cat makes me feel. Unwanted. Alone. And ready to kill someone. So I thought it was reasonable to knock him off his paws a few times.

I rolled my eyes. "Yeah, but I would've won anyway, for the record." I glanced a Fawnpaw, but he was trying his best to ignore me. To be honest, it was really embarrassing, he was acting older than I was.

"I'm sorry Whiterain, she's not usually so short tempered..." I didn't listen to the rest. I didn't care. Every day I felt more and more guilty, making every cat around me annoyed, disappointed. It's not like I'm trying to make Bloodfur or my mother feel this way. My father died when I was about 5 moons old. Everything was fine before his weak shoulder caused him to fall into the river and drown. My mother and I had never been the same since, I guess.

"Beechpaw!'

I snapped my head up and pricked my ears. Bloodfur was standing now, looking agitated. "I've called your name twice now, pay attention!" He gave me a long, stern look, before saying bye to Whiterain and Fawnpaw. He then set off into the woods, towards twoleg place. When we were out of Fawnpaw and Whiterain's hearing, he turned to me. "Why do you always act this way?"

I sat down and tilted my head, looking as innocent as possible. "What do you mean?"

"Don't bother Beechpaw, save it! I'm sick of your embarrassing behavior! At this rate, you may never attend a gathering before your a warrior."

Now I was getting angry, and I lashed my tail. "See if I care! Your the one who's embarrassing! Every day I do something else wrong and I can't seem to do a single thing right! You don't understand what it's like."

Bloodfur was almost spitting at me with rage, his fangs bared. " Oh no, you don't know what it's like having the only apprentice in the clan who refuses to listen! The apprentice who always complains about everything I tell her to do. The apprentice who can't do anything correctly!"

I guess I must've flinched, because his face fell, and he calmed down a bit, looking apologetic. " Beechpaw, I didn't mean that, it's just-"

"No. I don't care. I'll be like every other cat in this clan who is ignorant, and doesn't give a damn about me or anyone else in the world, okay? I'll be just like you!"

At that, I raced away, not paying attention as to where exactly. My chest was aching with sadness. Why couldn't anyone just understand? My mother didn't understand, my mentor didn't understand... What is it with clan cats?

What is it with me?