Title: Overly Crimson, Not Red
Episode 1: The Magical, Reality-Warping Properties of Ice Cream
Author: Aiieke
Warnings: Some swearing. This fic is crack-ish. No major point, just some stuff that I thought in my head was amusing. Sorta-but-not-quite KxH.
Disclaimer: So how's life, everybody? School sucks ass, you say? Interesting!
-.-.-
It was on a bright and sunny day that Marietta reached the entrance of Meiou Private High School. After uncrinkling a slip of paper to confirm that she was in the right place, which she was, Marietta proceeded through the front doors.
God bless that school.
-.-.-
The one thing Kurama liked about his high school was that the students there were very serious and dedicated. In fact, those qualities themselves were practically a requirement for admittance. Due to this, few people ever bothered him. The guys kept to themselves and their close friends, and so did the girls, save for the rarely occasional daring one who would approach him with express desires of asking him out. But that was not a big issue, since the girls were mostly shy... mostly.
"Shuuichi! Wait! Shuuichi!"
Kurama turned around to see a student running up to him. "Yes?"
"The student council," he stopped to catch his breath, "is in serious need of your advice", more panting, "for the upcoming fair!"
Kurama regarded him for a moment, having been shaken out of his relaxed state."Why? I'm not even on the stu-"
"Please, Shuuichi," the flustered youth grasped Kurama's hands desperately. "I implore you. I may lose my position!"
"Well, I..." Kurama eyed apprehensively the boy with the pleading eyes while trying to edge away at the same time... it didn't look like he was about to give up. "... all right. I guess I could drop by after school. Now if you would be so kind as to let go of-"
"Oh thank you! Thank you so much!" After Kurama's hands was vigorously shook, the boy dashed off, task accomplished and relieved.
Kurama continued down the hall, dimly registering what he had just agreed to. It's part of a trend, Kurama thought. People had recently taken to asking him for help; granted, the assistance was always over small matters, but they did nonetheless As to why, Kurama wasn't sure, but he was wondering more and more if whether someone would jump out at him from nowhere around the corners.
After wiping his hands with a paper napkin and throwing it away, Kurama continued down the hall, not noticing four girls lunge for the wastebasket he had just passed, and missing subsequent crash.
There wasn't anything different about Kurama's first class period as far as he could tell. He saw the same early students unpacking as always and he proceeded to do the same, taking his seat and pulling out a book to read until the start of class. The moment Kurama glanced up, however, he found himself staring straight into a pair of blue eyes inches from his face.
"Hi!" the girl greeted.
Kurama rose to his feet in order to distance himself out of alarm, all of it mostly directed at himself. As human as he may be, having another genuine human sneak up and catch him off guard was never a good sign, Kurama felt.
"I'm Marietta," Marietta said with a small wave.
I'm losing myself, thought Kurama. I'll find Hiei this weekend and we'll train... and perhaps do other things, too, if I play my cards right...
"Do you know where I can find Hiei?" Marietta asked, temporarily halting Kurama's thoughts.
"...Excuse me?"
"I need to find Hiei," Marietta said.
"Hiei?" repeated Kurama with innocence and polite confusion. "No, I-"
Yuu Kaito strode over, smirking knowingly at the Kurama and the other girl. "Why, hello Shuuichi. I see you've finally found yourself a-"
"Don't you even say it!" Kurama turned on him, pointing accusingly. A few clicks in his brain made things suddenly clear.
"Whoa." Kaito was surprised. "Now what's put you in such a bad mood... or should I say who?"
"Enough, Kaito." Kurama sighed. "You head the student council. And pray tell, what is this business of ordering the lower classmen to flag me down in the halls as if their very lives depended on it? Explain yourself."
"Why, I don't know what you mean, Shuuichi."
Kurama didn't buy the innocent act. "Seriously, are you still holding a grudge?"
Kaito chuckled. "All right, you've got me. They're... good for a laugh."
"Marietta," Kurama sighed, ignoring Kaito's absurdity, "did he put you up to this?"
"Up to what?" she asked.
"Do you even go to this school?" Kaito asked Marietta bluntly, seeing as she wasn't wearing the girls' uniform.
Marietta shook her head. "I came here to find Kurama because I was told that he could help me find Hiei." she turned to Kurama, "You are him, right?"
Kurama's face was blank. Kaito kept quiet, not sure what to make of her knowledge. Kurama spoke first. "My name is Shuuichi," he said, "I'm afraid you must have me confused with someone else."
Marietta blinked. "No I haven't."
"Look, kid," Kaito began, "I'm sure Shuuichi is at least smart enough-" Kurama frowned in indignation ("Just-just let it go, already!"), "-to know his own name, all right?"
"Oh..." said Marietta quietly with a considering look, "I'll search somewhere else then." With that said, she left the classroom and disappeared down the hallway.
"Shuuichi, what are you doing?" Kaito hissed, seeing his friend start to follow. Kurama glanced back. "'Hiei' and 'Kurama' are not exactly common names." Kurama shook his head. "Someone of status would have already known who I was. It's just too suspicious to ignore..."
"The bell's about to ring!"
But Kurama had already left. Kaito sighed. How can that guy be the best student around if he's not even here half the time? Damn, I'm still bitter... But a voice from behind interrupted his musings of jealousy.
"Where did Shuuichi just run off to?"
Kaito spun around to find about fifteen students staring him down with a 'what-the-hell-just-happened?' look.
"Uh, hey." Kaito waved. "What's up?"
-.-.-
Kurama walked in on a strange scene. He did not have to go very far to find Marietta; she was just outside of the school gates. What was peculiar, however, was how Marietta struggled to climb up a tree while holding a container of something. She also seemed to be talking to the branches. Gritting his teeth, Kurama ran the rest of the distance.
"Marietta, what-" he took a moment to peer into the tree's foliage, "Hiei?" Kurama sounded incredulous. At least that was one objective down for the weekend if Hiei was already within vicinity.
"I'm not coming down." Came the firm voice.
"Hiei are... are you stalking me?" Kurama smiled slightly, "Honestly, I'm flattered, but you needn't go to such lengths-"
"Humph, I knew it." Marietta interrupted, pouting. "You are Kurama." But in distraction, Marietta's hand flailed wildly and missed the nearest limb, causing her to come fall down on her back. Kurama swore he could hear suppressed snickering coming from above him.
"Marietta, where did you get that?" asked Kurama.
"Oh, this?" She held up a small tub of ice cream. "I had it with me." Marietta picked herself up, determined to get up to Hiei. A hand on Marietta's shoulder stopped her. "What?"
At first, the look on Kurama's face was hard to place. He coughed a few times, trying to control himself, but inevitably began to laugh quiet and unsteady laughter that grew as it built up inside of him. Marietta stared blankly, unsure.
"I'm sorry... and here I thought-" another giggle, "you were a part of some underlying plot!"
Suddenly, Hiei appeared next to him, looking angry. "Just what the hell do you find so funny?" he demanded, taking a step forward and pointing at Kurama. Why was Kurama laughing? Kurama never laughed, so why was he doing it now? Hiei thought wildly. That had better not be me he's laughing at! Hiei hated being laughed at.
"She's brought you... ice cream," said Kurama, biting his lip.
Marietta pouted. "Hiei, I wanted to ask you to my school dance-" Kurama blanched, "- I thought maybe you'd like some sweet snow." she said in her innocent little girl's voice. "I read somewhere that it's the only known substance in the world that can make a demon abandon all sense of his pride and self-respect to grovel at someone's feet."
"Sweet snow?" said Kurama, "Isn't that like... a slushie? Hiei, if you want a slushie, there's a machine inside the building. You don't have to force random girls-"
"How the hell is this my doing?"
"Will you go with me, Hiei?" pleaded Marietta.
Hiei growled, eyes shifting from the girl to Kurama.
"I had nothing to do with this." Kurama protested. There was no change from Hiei and it was just too damn bad that Kurama felt like being mischevious. "But then again," he added, beginning to smile once more, "I do love mint chocolate-chip."
"I don't have to take this."
Kurama realized too late that Hiei had left. Devastated, Marietta dropped to her knees and cried to the heavens in lament. "NO, Hiei! Come back, my love!"
It was the intelligent and sensible part of Kurama that supressed his urge to yell out the exact same thing, but in a less fanatical and more dignified manner. "I was kidding!" Kurama sighed, and went quiet for a moment. Hiei did not show up. "I've done it..." he groaned, "I've really done it now." The signs weren't good. Hell, they sucked.
Marietta recovered quickly. "Kurama, you can still go with me this Friday, right?"
Kurama ignored her and slowly started in the direction of his home, forgetting the rest of his classes that he still had to attend. Marietta scrambled to her feet to follow. "Wait, Kurama!"
"He'll be gone for weeks... months, perhaps." Kurama murmured, not paying attention as he walked away sullenly. "Oh, who the hell am I joking? He's not coming back... usually he would have said something insulting first..."
Marietta was just about to catch up when a rumbling from beneath her feet stopped her and soon, her piercing shriek scared the birds away. Unfortunately, Marietta wasn't very bright, so it wasn't until after three hours of struggling did she realize that her bindings of what looked to be like giant roots were not going to loosen anytime soon.
The End.
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