"Pappa, Pappa, no please stop!" I cry
I struggle and ask him why
Why won't he love me?
Why does he hurt me?
"It's your fault" he says, hurting me more
As I am roughly shoved through a door
Why, why, WHY?
"What's my fault?" I sadly cry
"Its your fault she's gone."
"It's your fault she's DEAD!" a harsh voice rings out
Oh, yes it's my fault no doubt
"Oh, Mamma, Oh, Mamma" I softly cry
As I tell myself it's all a lie,
At the start, at least that's what I tried.
Again and again
I've given up stopping it now
I'm a total outcast, a stranger all alone in the world
Hurt, Broken, Beaten and Forgotten.
When I was a child
The pain I received was mild
Though burses once marred my small body
Hidden from sight
After I returned from a little plight.
I remembered when I used to ask why
And when I used to even try
To stop the suffering,
To stop the pain
But now they had broken parts of my fragile brain
I feel no trust
I feel no love
I feel no life
All I feel is something coiling deep within me
Something so horrible
So bone chilling
That it frightened even me
Pure and utter HATRED
At myself
At my fate
At the world
I scream as I am hit
Climbing out of the remains of a broken plate
Again I'm told that everything bad is my fault
Everything wrong with the world is all my fault.
I decide to do something that would seal my fate
So I set a date
The dull bathrooms of my horrible school
A great place to die
I pull out a sharp razor and hold it to the marred skin of my wrist
I think the world will get the general gist
My life is not a life
My last thoughts as blood pools all over the tile floor
I'm sorry
It's all my fault
Then I hear the door
Slide slowly open
A gasp of horror
A shouting voice
A blissful darkness
First all I could do was lay there listening to the soothing voice of an angel
"I found him with a razor in the bathroom"
Ah finally I'm dead
No longer a burden from the world
Wait, what
No, no, no
I think as I slowly open my eyes
Four pairs of eyes stare back at me
The eyes of a nurse, worried for my life
The eyes of the principle, filled with pity
The eyes of an English teacher, curious as to why
And the eyes of an angry angel
They ask me many a questions
They don't get a single reply until
"What are you, mute?" came the annoyed voice of my saviour, my angel
My saviour
My angel
Dragging me back from the deepest pits of hell
Showing me a beautiful heaven
The monster was locked away in a cell with no hope of escape
An angel helped me reshape
Reshape my life
Reshape my soul
I feel alive
I feel trust
I feel complete
All thanks to an anglel
That I know I love